


Pink

by breatherepeat



Category: Bastille (Band)
Genre: Beginnings, Developing Relationship, First Time, M/M, start of the band
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:21:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 61,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22045516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breatherepeat/pseuds/breatherepeat
Summary: The beginning of a love story.
Relationships: Kyle Simmons/Dan Smith
Comments: 38
Kudos: 126





	1. Rose

Kyle woke with a pain in his neck and cold legs. There were soft breathing sounds of someone near him and he was not in his room. 

Wincing as his eyes adjusted to the light coming in through the window of the unknown room, Kyle rubbed his neck as he turned it toward the source of the soft breathing sounds. 

Dan was a friend of a mate and they had met a few times at house parties. Dan was the one with wild hair and adorable blushing cheeks when someone gave him a compliment. He was starting a band, or had already started a band, but was looking for someone to play keys. 

Once Dan learned that Kyle played keys, he asked him to be in the band as he ran his hand through his wild hair and his cheeks blushed a darker shade of pink. 

Kyle laughed it off the first time, and made a mental note of Dan’s flush face for later when he needed to get off and there was no one else around to help him out. 

Kyle had discovered that he liked guys almost as much as girls when he was in university. He was a free spirit and went with whatever the wind blew his way. 

And according to his lack of pants at the moment, Dan had blown his way last night. 

Kyle wasn’t sure, but he had a fuzzy memory of agreeing to go to a practice session and the taste of cheap alcohol. 

Dan had done that pink blushy thing as he asked him and Kyle had to smile back at him. Kyle was apparently the perfect combination of drunk and horny because he remembered saying he would check them out and gave Dan his number to text him. 

Thinking on the memory, Kyle now remembered that he had a wicked thought at the time of whether Dan’s other cheeks turned as bright pink as the ones on his face. And just like last night, he felt himself respond to the thought. 

But there was no time for erections because he needed to wee and find his clothes before he got fired from his job. He wouldn’t be broken hearted if he was fired, but he liked to eat and having a roof over his head so it wouldn’t be the best if he was no longer allowed to earn money there. 

Buttoning his jeans, he found two shy, blue eyes watching him from the bed. 

“Mornin’.” Kyle gave Dan a genuine smile as he reached over Dan lying on the bed for his shirt, which happened to be near Dan’s head. “That was wicked, at least from what I remember of it. I have to go. Work is beckoning. See ya ‘round?” 

“Okay.” Dan nodded from his bed, his body frozen in place as Kyle put his shirt on and then his shoes before rushing out the door.

Working with a hangover is literally the worst torture known to any twentysomething. At least the ones that don’t live in third world countries. Kyle knew he shouldn’t complain because he brought on the pain himself and there were people in the world that had it way worse than him, but he was also in pain so he allowed himself to wallow through his shift. 

He finally was able to have a shower and change his clothes from the night before after work. Kyle was not proud of it, but he had a few one night stands and went to work the following morning still ripe from the night before. He was being paid minimum wage and didn’t really care about making a good impression. The side jobs were just until he could find some session work that actually paid him. 

Looking in the mirror as he brushed his teeth, he saw a mark on his neck and smiled thinking of Dan. 

As the day went on, he had remembered more of their night. 

Kyle agreed to watch Dan’s band practice and Dan’s face broke into the most incredible smile he had ever seen. But then his face fell as he asked if Kyle was kidding with him. Kyle had heard from a few of their mates that Dan had been asking different people to join and most had said yes to just get Dan to go away. Kyle assured him that he was interested and that Dan only needed to give him a time and place and he would show. 

The smile returned and Dan started waffling on about a song he was working on and a Myspace page he had started. 

Kyle had grown more into Dan as the night progressed. He had these nervous tics that increased as he drank and Kyle found himself trying to distract him to stop all the nervous energy he projected out. 

Waiting for the loo, Kyle grew impatient and kissed Dan as they waited. Dan’s cheeks grew a darker shade of pink and then Dan was the one initiating the kiss. He bit at Kyle’s lip and then started working on his neck. 

When it was their turn for the loo, Kyle pulled Dan into the bathroom with him. They both emptied their bladders and left the party for Dan’s flat. He shared with a few mates that were also at the party and it was nearby. 

Dan was shy after he closed the door to his room and was breathing hard as Kyle started to remove their clothes. There was a blur of hands and mouths and everything nice after that. 

Kyle wished he remembered more of what they had done. And whether he learned if Dan’s other cheeks would turn the same shade of pink as his face. 

Washing his toothbrush off, Kyle went into the lounge and threw himself down on the sofa. The telly was on and there was some sort of sporting event on the screen. Kyle ignored it and rubbed at the mark on his neck as he smiled. 

“You didn’t come home last night.” His flatmate turned his attention to Kyle as the telly went to adverts. “And you have the telltale marks of a mouth on your neck. Did you go to work smelling like sex and your neck claimed?” 

“Yes.” Kyle reached for his mate’s beer but then thought better of it given he had just brushed his teeth. “If they want me fresh and clean for a shift, they only need to start paying me more.” 

“Who was it this time?” Josh took his beer off the table before Kyle could change his mind and try to steal it again. “Was it Sarah? She has been eyeing you for awhile.” 

“Wrong variety.” Kyle smiled remembering lying down on Dan’s bed and feeling him hard against him. He had been in the mode for a man lately and Dan delivered on all accounts. From what he remembered at least. “All male last night.” 

“Fuck.” Josh turned his body toward Kyle. “Was it Dan?” 

“Yes. Why?” Kyle took his hand off his neck as he found his friend staring at him with wide eyes. “What the fuck is that look for?” 

“Ralph said he has been talking about you. Like, all the time talking about you. Asking questions.” Josh laughed to himself. “You probably made his night. Or his year.” 

“I’m good but let’s not be overly dramatic now.” Kyle laughed and turned back to the screen. “I’m going to watch his band practice sometime.” 

“He got you? He asked me last party. You know there are people that hide from him now?” Josh yelled at the screen for someone to do more of something and then turned his attention back to Kyle, absentmindedly watching the game. “Ralph said he is good but he is a bit awkward, isn’t he? Was he like that in bed?” 

“Fuck off.” Kyle swatted at Josh’s arm. Kyle knew he wasn’t being mean but it still didn’t seem right to talk about Dan like that. “He was sweet. I was tabled so I don’t remember it all but he was sweet. And so fucking shy about everything. But so sweet, you know?” 

“You know there is a rumour about him?” Josh said and waited for Kyle’s response. 

“Oh yeah. What is the rumour? He has an animal underneath all that hair?” Kyle laughed and rubbed at his neck again. Maybe he would text Dan and see if he was free soon. Dan could show him the website and the song he kept talking about. 

“No. That he has never been with anyone. Like, ever.” Josh waited for the information to sink in and then continued when he had Kyle’s full attention. “Ralph said he was a loner since he knew him in uni. I only met him after he lost the weight but Ian said he hasn’t been with anyone since he has lived with him either. That he has crushes but nothing more. Ian said he was crushing on you hard.”

“It isn’t nice to talk about people that are not ‘round.” Kyle swatted at his friend again as he stood. He was knackered and needed to sleep. “Going to bed. Have fun watching your sport ball thing.” 

“I will now that I can watch it in peace.” Josh shouted over his shoulder at Kyle’s retreating form. 

Kyle’s room was dark and he hit his leg on the side of the bed, misjudging the size in the dark. His phone was near his bed and he checked to see if he had any messages. 

There were three from Dan. One said that it was Dan from the party. The other gave a time and an address. The third asked if Kyle was still serious about coming to their practice and that he didn’t have to come unless he really wanted to see them play. 

Kyle moved his pillow underneath his head and went to reply back to the last message but stopped seeing that another just came through from Dan. This one said he was sorry for sending so many messages and that he hoped he had a good night. And then another popped up that said he wasn’t talking about last night but that night. 

Kyle smiled at his phone and clicked the call button rather than attempt to reply to all the nerves in those texts. 

“Um, hello?” Dan’s voice was unsure on the other end. 

“Hello, Dan.” Kyle kept his tone light. “I see you have been bored and decided I needed a novel to read before bed. Not that I’m not tired or anything from not sleeping last night.” 

“Sorry.” Dan sounded sad, obviously not understanding that Kyle was being sarcastic. “I’ll let you go.” 

“Hey, I rang you. Remember?” Kyle again kept his tone light. 

“Right.” Dan still sounded sad but now confused as well. “Why?” 

“I wanted to let you know that I can make it to your practice and that I had that song stuck in my head all day today. The one you hummed for me last night.” Kyle pulled his blanket up and waited for Dan to say something. After a few moments of silence, he asked if he was still there. 

“Yes, I’m here.” Again the tone was low and unsure. “Did you like it? The song I mean. Not the other thing we did. I did. Like it. Not the song. That is weird to say. But it is okay if you didn’t. Like what we did. We don’t have to do that again. I mean, like, you can still come to the practice and not, like, think that I think it means anything more than you just being interested. In the band. Not me. Well, I’m in the band so you would be somewhat interested in me if you were in the band. And I write the music so yeah. Fuck, I’m talking too much. You say something.” 

“I liked it too. What we did and the song.” Kyle bit at his lip as he heard Dan let out a quick breath. “And I’m interested. In the band. And in you.” 

“Really?” Dan’s voice raised at the end. 

“Yeah.” Kyle smiled as he heard Dan’s breathing increase on the other end. “Just, next time, I want to be conscious of what we are doing. I need to know if your arse cheeks blush the same shade of pink as your cheeks on your face.” 

“What?” Dan’s voice was low and unsure again. 

“Nothing. It is a compliment. Promise.” Kyle closed his eyes and debated whether he could stay on the line or if he should sleep. “I have to sleep now, but I will see you tomorrow night. Play me that song.” 

“Okay.” Dan let out quickly. “Sorry for keeping you awake. I’ll see you tomorrow. Yes, and you already said that. Night.” 

“Good night, Dan.” Kyle smiled as he ended the call. 

He was looking forward to the next day.


	2. Rosado

Kyle was up and out the door early the next morning. Another shift at another job, only this one gave him more free time during the day.

During one of those free moments, Kyle searched the address that Dan gave him and saw it was a residential address.

Kyle  
_Hello. I’m bored at work and looked up the address. Are we meeting at someone’s home? Or did you give me the wrong address?_

Kyle watched his phone for a few more minutes and wondered what Dan was doing at the moment. Was he bored like him at some meaningless job? Or was he at home watching telly or listening to music? Or was someone else occupying his time?

That was stupid. He had no claim to him. So they messed around and Kyle agreed to see his band play. It was not like they were dating. Does he date? Had Kyle ever really dated anyone since maybe A levels?

Kyle wondered why he was thinking so hard about this and what that meant. Was he too into this guy? This shy guy that blushed and looked so pure.

Then Kyle realized he needed to at least pretend like he was working. And that Dan had his own life and was not expected to immediately text Kyle back.

Putting away his phone, Kyle ran his hand through his hair and wondered if he remembered correctly that Dan’s hair had been soft…

Making a sound of frustration and shaking his head, Kyle started sorting through old boxes.

Kyle punched out two minutes before he was supposed to punch out and couldn’t care less. He couldn't be there any longer when he had something to get ready for and text messages to check.

Dan  
_It is my parents’ house. My dad is out of town and my mum is working late. Are you still planning on coming?_

Dan  
_I would understand if you were just being nice._

Kyle smiled at the question. He had already confirmed he was going to be there but it seemed like Dan was skeptical.

Kyle  
_Been looking forward to it all day. Work was boring and I’m curious to hear you lads play. Hear the rest of the song you hummed for me. Or rather, hear the lyrics that go along with it. Actually hear your voice in person and not over the dodgy audio of Ian’s phone._

Dan  
_Okay. Just don’t expect too much. We have only been playing together for a little bit and I’m still working out the words for the song. And my voice is quite annoying after a while...Ian showed you a video of me playing? Which one? Was it crap?_

Kyle  
_Yes. You were at some pub or something. And rubbish. Ralph said that you have a good voice. Nice range and rich tone. The audio did not do you justice. And that you would say you are crap but not to listen to your modesty. And Ian told me the same thing so I figure majority rules._

Dan  
_You talked to Ralph and Ian about the band? About me?_

Kyle  
_A bit. At parties. As people do._

Dan  
_It’s just weird. They are just being nice. Just being good mates._

Kyle  
_I will decide for myself. I have to change and I will start heading over. Actually cannot wait._

...to see you again. Kyle wanted to add but that sounded a bit needy and Kyle was not needy.

What had gotten into him? He was not this person. He had never been this person. Even in school, he never went all bird crazy like his mates. Back then he didn’t entertain the thoughts about the fit blokes in his classes.

Well, maybe one or two, but nothing he ever acted on.

Until university when he couldn’t take his eyes off the lips of a saxophone player in one of his courses.

But that was only in the moment or when he was with someone in person.

He never had someone take over his mind like Dan had.

Kyle would have been frightened of it if he didn’t also kinda like it at the same time.

He was a sucker for a romantic Disney film or romcom.

And he felt like he was starring in his own film at the moment.

Kyle distracted himself away from his thoughts long enough to quickly change into a new shirt and brush his teeth when he was home. He borrowed a bit of Josh’s cologne to make a good impression. He was so drunk last time, he didn’t remember much of the night but he hoped to spend more time with Dan following practice.

Maybe Kyle had been on Dan’s thoughts throughout the day as well.

The Tube was busy and it took a bit longer than he planned to arrive at the address Dan gave him. It was a nicer neighborhood and Kyle wondered what Dan’s parents did to afford the area.

“You came.” Dan smiled as he opened the door. Dan gave him eye contact for around three seconds and then his eyes were on the floor. Kyle watched the wind move Dan’s wild hair and he laughed inside his head at the cinematic moment when the two love interests meet again. The wind picks up and the music starts to set the scene.

Only there was actually music. It was obviously the other band members setting up their instruments and it sounded nothing like the Disney orchestras but Kyle was going to take it.

Dan opened the door for him and Kyle smiled as he walked in. Dan’s eyes rose to his chest area and Kyle wanted to make the joke that his ‘eyes were up here,’ but he held it in. Dan seemed a bit on edge and he didn’t want to make a bad impression.

Realizing he had not said anything since he became lost in his film moment, Kyle spoke. “Oh course I came. I told you, I need to hear the rest of that song. And decide whether you are crap or amazing.”

Dan’s face went a slight shade of pink right before he turned away to lead Kyle up the stairs.

Dan led them to what appeared to be his bedroom and introduced to the other two men in the room. Kyle was fairly sure that he had seen Will around before but Woody did not look as familiar.

Kyle asked Woody, “Have I seen you ‘round at Ralph’s or somewhere else? I don’t remember if I have met you.”

“Nah, I didn’t go to Leeds like you lot so don’t know any of them.” Woody answered as he brushed some hair off his forehead. “I flyered Dan’s place offering drum lessons and Dan’s mum bullied him into calling me to find a drummer.”

“She didn’t bully me.” Dan said quietly as he plugged in his keyboard and sat at the end of his bed. His eyes stayed on the keyboard and he appeared to be sweating a bit.

“Either way,” Woody mouthed to Kyle, ‘she bullied him,’ “little did Dan know that I was the perfect man for the job. And this will be my full time job one day.”

“Don’t say stuff like that.” Dan pulled his shirt out from his chest and shifted around. “Are we ready before I faint or something?”

“Don’t mind him.” Will spoke to Kyle as he saw Kyle giving Dan a concerned look at the state of him. Dan was still sweating and the lovely shade of pink was gone and replaced with a pale shade of grey. “He gets like this when there is a new person. He hasn’t passed out on us...yet.”

“I can hear you.” Dan voice rose a bit as he pulled his shirt away from his chest again. His eyes were still on the keyboard but he was directing his tone toward Will. “You ready?”

Will nodded his answer even though Dan was not looking. Will started them off and Woody soon joined in. Dan was last and Kyle could see his hands trembling from where he stood.

Kyle wondered if it really was nerves from playing or if it was because Kyle was here.

Kyle leaned against the door frame and took it all in.

Dan’s voice was shaky and Woody’s beat seemed to go too fast in parts. Will missed a note every once in a while as well, but overall it was good. He could hear that they were all learning to play with one another. Give them a few more weeks and Kyle would have looked them up if he heard them at a pub or online.

They played another song and everyone looked toward Kyle for feedback.

“It’s wicked.” Kyle nodded his head and pushed himself away from the door. “But what would I do? You seem to have it all covered.”

“I make these on my laptop with a program, but when we play it live, when we start playing them live, I need someone else to help me fill in the sound.” Dan turned off his keyword and looked toward Woody. “Woody needs help with the drums as well. Not sitting at the kit, but filling in some of the beats and such. I have ideas but I don’t know if they will work. We would need space to put everything. But that is getting ahead of ourselves.”

“Okay.” Kyle nodded and watched as Dan appeared to relax a bit now that they had played for Kyle. Dan was currently sat with his leg curled up and playing with the strings on his shoes. “Do we rehearse on a set schedule or just around our obligations? Because I have a few jobs that I’m juggling.”

“We work it around schedules. As you can tell, we haven’t had much time together yet. We all have a few jobs that we are working around.” Dan brushed a hand through his hair and then paused with his hand holding down his hair. It gave him a strange look and Kyle sighed at how cute he looked. Yup, he was falling for this one because that shouldn’t be cute. By the time Dan made eye contact, Kyle could feel his stomach start to flutter. “Wait, what time do we rehearse? We?”

“Yeah. I haven’t played for you so I could be shite but I’m interested.” Kyle smiled and walked in to sit on the bed near Dan. Their elbows brushed against one another but neither acknowledged it. As Dan put down his leg so Kyle would have more space, it made their legs brush together as well. Turning on the keyword, Kyle ignored the tingling in his arm and leg and started playing from memory the song Dan had originally hummed for him. “It goes like this, right?”

“Yeah.” Dan nodded his head and put his hands further down on the board. “I would stay here and you could go higher. At least until we can afford another keyboard.”

“I have one. It is old but it might work for learning to play with you.” Kyle made a point to brush his forearm against Dan’s before he moved his hand back to rest in his lap. “When do we meet next?”

The next twenty minutes was spent attempting to find a day and time that would work for everyone. Dan said that both of his parents would be in town on the day that they decided on and Kyle smiled wondering if he could meet the parents.

He wiped it off his face soon afterward because he shouldn’t be thinking these thoughts. It was too soon.

With a time and date set, Will and Woody left. Will to sleep and Woody to spend time with mates. Woody offered for Dan and Kyle to come along, but Dan had work the next morning and Kyle said that he did as well.

“So this is your bedroom?” Kyle stood and looked around the room. Most of the larger items in the room looked like they were being held hostage, with everything pushed against the walls to make room for the instruments. There were a few pictures here and there that looked like family members. And books and DVDs everywhere. “You like reading and horror films?”

“Yeah. English Lit degree. I thought I was going to be a pompous journalist but that is not going to plan.” Dan stood and moved toward where Kyle stood in front of his shelves with books and DVDs. “You need writing experience to get anyone’s attention in the publishing world and outside of uni papers, I don’t have much to offer that anyone would be interested in.”

“Good thing you have music to fall back on.” Kyle said with a joking tone. Dan’s face fell a bit and he regretted being so coy with his words. “I’m joking, mate. You are good. Like, really brilliant. I love music and can arrange it, but the words never come to me. You tell stories with your words. And you have nice melodies.”

“It is just messing around. Mainly in here. Ralph found out my secret in uni and then I was entered into this stupid contest and won. And then I almost died because I had to perform on stage. But I did it and figured, what the hell? Let's torture myself with this for awhile and see where it goes. My mum, she is finally happy that I’m doing something I’m interested in.”

“Like me?” Kyle couldn’t help but tease at the phrasing of the words and how it matched their situation. “You know, because you are interested in me. And you are doing me. Or did me rather.”

Dan put down the book he was looking through and paused with his hand on the shelf. “Actually, we didn’t really do much. We started but then I had to take a minute. I left to get water and came back to you naked in my bed...asleep.”

“Oh.” Kyle swallowed and then laughed. Way to make a first impression but showing him what an idiot he is on their first night together. “Sorry.”

“It was alright. I don’t think I could have went through with it anyway. I was a bit drunk, and that helped, but…” Dan hugged his arm around his chest and looked like he was debating with myself to continue or not. “Never mind. It doesn’t matter. I was tired so I took off my jeans and top and got into the bed. You left so quickly in the morning, I didn’t have time to tell you. And after you just assumed, it was awkward to tell you the truth.”

Kyle watched as most of the colour drained from Dan’s face and he decided to change the subject for them. “Can I get a do over? Are you hungry? Let's get something to eat and talk. If the night ends in us in bed together, then you decide if we do anything more. I promise I will not fall asleep on you.”

“I do have to work in the morning.” Dan turned his wrist to look at his watch and Kyle took the opportunity to move in closer to his space. Kyle could see how Dan’s eyelashes brushed along the slight freckles on his cheeks and he felt that flutter in his stomach again.

“I am good skipping dinner then and just going to being in bed part.” Kyle ran his finger down Dan’s arm until he met his watch, with Dan’s arm still raised. “I have been thinking about kissing you since I saw you blushing at the door.”

“Is that like a kink or something?” Dan’s voice got breathy as he looked up and found Kyle so close to his face. Dan continued to speak as Kyle moved in closer to his mouth. “You keep mentioning it.”

“Just on you. I like how you look flushed.” Kyle stepped in even further and hovered his lips over Dan’s, breathing him in and waiting for Dan to make the next move. “I like how I make you look like you have just been ravished in the best way.”

Kyle felt Dan’s lips on his own and two hands moving around his hips. The hands stayed in place but Dan’s lips slowly slid across his own and then were gone. Opening his eyes to see Dan looking a bit panicked, Kyle smiled at him. “You okay?”

“This is nice. Like, really nice. But…” Dan removed his hands from his hips and brushed his hand through his hair as he stepped back and away from Kyle. His eyes were scanning around the room, taking in where they were at. “My mum is going to be home soon and I can’t do this with you here.”

“Your parents never caught you with anyone in your room before?” Kyle joked as he moved a step closer and saw his words reflect across Dan’s face. And then Kyle remembered what Josh said about the rumour and he wanted to ask Dan more questions.

“No.” Dan turned his back toward Kyle and walked toward the door. He didn’t elaborate on his answer but stood with his hand over the light switch, waiting for Kyle to take the hint and move out of the room with him.

Kyle followed Dan to the door and waited with his hands in his pockets as Dan locked up. Kyle felt like he should say something but he wasn’t sure what was needed.

Halfway to the Tube, Dan asked, “Are you coming to mine or our we going to yours?”

Kyle let out a sigh of relief and said Dan’s place would work. Especially since he had work in the morning and Kyle didn’t. “I don’t really have to work tomorrow. I just wanted to stay back with you.”

“Okay.” Dan shied his eyes away and wrapped his arms around himself as they continued on the path to the underground.

It was busy and they sat near one another, but neither of them spoke.

Kyle was in his head wondering if he had upset Dan somehow. But if he upset him, then why did he want Kyle to go back to his?

Dan was tapping his fingers against his arm in a pattern that looked like he was playing the second song the band played for him in Dan's room. If there wasn’t such a weird vibe between them, Kyle would have asked him but he didn’t want Dan to change his mind on Kyle coming back with him.

Dan’s roommates were out again and Dan spoke fast when he told Kyle that they would likely be gone for a while yet.

Dan’s room was how he remembered it. A bit like his room at his parents’ house but less filled with objects. There were books on the shelf and a few DVDs. A laptop opened but dark from non-use.

“Can I kiss you?” Kyle watched as Dan kicked off his shoes and stood in the middle of the room with his hands at his side and seemingly lost at what to do with his body. There was colour back in his face at Kyle’s words.

“Yes.” Dan pulled at his shirt and looked down toward their feet as Kyle approached him.

Kyle did not wait for Dan this time and found Dan’s lips, easily going back into the same pattern they had before Dan moved away from him. Kyle’s hands moved to Dan’s back and he pulled him in a bit closer until he felt Dan trembling underneath his hands. “This okay?”

Dan nodded his head in answer and leaned back into Kyle’s space, his lips finding Kyle’s and letting out a breathy sound that made Kyle’s knees weak.

Fuck, he could fall so fast for this one. So fast.

Kyle had never been in love before. He had never been in a long term relationship but maybe this was the time. Maybe Dan was his future and the band was the bonus gift that went along with him.

Was this too fast? Was he meant to be feeling this much so soon?

Maybe Dan was worried about the same thing and that was why he was hesitant and shaking underneath his hands. Kyle was going to ask but there were hands at the bottom of his shirt pulling it off. The room was cold on Kyle’s bare skin but soon he felt warm hands on him and Kyle lost track of his thoughts.

Dan’s hands moved up his chest and then down his arms, as if he was memorizing him. Kyle made the mistake of looking to Dan’s face and found the flushed pink cheeks and let out a sound of his own.

“I don’t want to fuck...not quite yet.” Dan’s trembling hands moved down Kyle’s stomach and his fingers slid into the waist of his jeans. “But can we just touch one another?”

“We can do whatever you would like, baby.” Kyle moved his head down and kissed Dan, feeling Dan unzipping his jeans and his hand going lower. Dan’s hand remained above his pants, but Kyle was already halfway hard and didn’t need much more.

Pulling at the back of Dan’s shirt, Kyle moved it off him and moaned as Dan’s hand left him to allow the shirt to come off. Dan wasn’t lean like him but he was toned. His pectoral moving up and down with his breathing. The slight freckles and blush from his face followed down to his chest.

Kyle felt Dan’s hands back on him and Kyle gathered enough brain energy to know what he wanted Dan out of his jeans as well. The zipper got stuck half way down and Kyle laughed as it stayed stuck.

“Fuck.” Dan breathed out, his chest moving up and down as he tried to help Kyle get it to go down.

In the end, Dan had to shimmy out of his jeans and he lost his pants in the process. Dan moved to cover himself realizing what he did, but then thought better of it and looked up toward Kyle with those shy blue eyes. Kyle smiled at him and leaned down to kiss Dan and remove his pants as well.

Dan walked them back toward the bed and they quickly arranged themselves so Dan was on his back and Kyle was pressed up against him. Both of them were hard and Kyle was biting at Dan’s neck, attempting to return the favour from the mark on his throat.

“Wait.” Dan breathed into Kyle’s ear and Kyle moved his head up to find Dan’s eyes. He didn’t seem to be in pain or wanting Kyle to move away but Kyle stopped the movement of his hips. “Can we...I don’t want to be underneath you. Like, can we...on our sides?”

Kyle moved off Dan and laid on his side, with Dan following his movement and pressing against him. It was more work like this, but now he could feel Dan’s leg wrapped around his thigh and Kyle quite liked that.

Dan found Kyle’s lips again and Kyle used his hand to push Dan against him more. He was close and didn’t even care if he embarrassed himself by coming so soon. Dan sucked on Kyle’s tongue and pressed himself against Kyle’s cock and Kyle felt like he was floating on the best high.

“I’m going to come soon.” Kyle kissed along Dan’s cheek and had the thought to look down. From what he could see at this angle, Dan’s arse cheeks were the same shade of pink. Kyle dug his fingers into the soft flesh of Dan’s bum and came without thinking.

After a few seconds of floating through the orgasm, Kyle moved his hand to their front to wrap around both himself and Dan. He was getting a bit oversensitive but Dan’s breathing was increasing, so he continued with the same pressure. Soon, Dan’s warm breath was breathing against his neck and his hips were jerking as he released into Kyle’s hand.

Kyle kept the even movements up and down until he couldn’t stand it anymore and slowly released them both from his grip. Dan was still breathing heavily into his neck and Kyle kissed his cheek and then ear before sinking further into the bed and savoring the moment.

Was this love? Or intense like?

Dan moved first, moving his leg off Kyle’s thigh and his head up to rest along the pillow. His eyes were on Kyle’s eyes. Dan smirked as he looked down at the mess they made of one another and then laid his head back on the pillow again.

“I liked that. So much.” Kyle rested his head on the same pillow and started counting the freckles on Dan’s nose. “To think, I fell asleep and missed this the other night. But, to be honest, I could probably fall asleep right now.”

“You can stay.” Dan closed his eyes and tightened his hand around Kyle’s arm, tethering him to Dan. “I like it when you slept here last time. You snore but it is pleasant.”

“I don’t know if anyone says that.” Kyle groaned into the pillow. “Is that even a compliment?”

“It is like a rhythm that repeats itself.” Dan closed his eyes again and sighed. “At least when you do it. Ralph never sounded like that. Ian neither.”

“You slept with Ralph and Ian?” Kyle opened his eyes quickly. From what he knew, both were straight.

“Like literally slept in the same room as them.” Dan opened his eyes, likely hearing the curiosity in Kyle’s tone. His eyes went down to Kyle’s chest at the next part. “I have never slept with anyone. I came close a few times, but it just wasn’t right, you know?”

Kyle kissed Dan’s nose and reached for the edge of the blanket to wrap them up. “Well, I’m honoured.”

“Kyle?” Dan asked as Kyle was almost asleep, comfy in their shared warmth despite the drying mess on his stomach. It was worth it to stay right where he was.

“Yes, Dan.” Kyle snuggled into the pillow further and hoped Dan wasn’t freaking out on him. He really didn’t want to move.

“Did you really like them? The songs?” Kyle felt Dan move closer and their legs brushing against one another. He was okay with that as well. “Or did you just want to get me into bed?”

“You caught me.” Kyle smiled into his pillow, his tone light. “I’m a groupie that stalks bands just to sleep with the frontman. Or the drummer. Or anyone, really. I’m a slut, don’t shame me.”

“No, seriously.” Dan’s tone was weird and Kyle opened his eyes to see Dan staring intensely at him. “Be honest.”

“I think you are fucking amazing and I don’t lie.” Kyle saw the uncertainty on Dan’s face and he wished he could make it go away. “Honestly, ask any of my mates. I tell on myself every time. It is a curse.”

“Are you really going to practice with us?” The tone was leaving his voice but it was still there.

“If you will still have me after I literally pass out when we are on stage.” Kyle moved his hand off Dan’s hip and brushed back a few stray hairs from Dan’s forehead. “Never played in front of anyone without losing oxygen.”

“We are going to be horrible.” Dan laughed and it sounded genuine. Like he was listening to Kyle’s words and believing them. “No one is going to care to see us play.”

“Nah.” Kyle moved his hand to Dan’s face and traced down his jaw to his mouth. “We are going to be amazing. Just you wait.”


	3. Rosa

There was the lightest of touch moving through the short hairs near his ear that woke him up. Morning came too soon for a day that he could have slept in. But it was worth it to have slept over at Dan's flat.

Kyle sighed into the pillow and heard the faintest sound of giggles above him. Kyle smiled as he opened his eyes and turned his head toward the lovely sound, his head now laid flat back on the pillow and he found Dan looking at him. Dan was dressed and his hair was still damp from his shower.

"Mornin'." Dan smiled back as he bit his lip to stop his laughter. Dan's hand was still moving through the short hairs near his ear, almost as if he forgot he was doing it. "I have to go. Ian is still asleep. He normally wakes late on days he has off. Sleep in and he can help you later if you want to shower or just lock up when you leave. Joey already left. He won't be home until late so you won't run into him."

"Does Ian know I'm here?" Kyle wondered if Dan cared if Ian knew. He was a shared friend and someone Kyle was comfortable 'round. If it was anyone else, Kyle would have told Ian without worry but he was still learning about what Dan was comfortable with. "Do you care if he knows that I'm here?"

"I left him a note so he doesn't freak out on you if he sees you walking 'round the flat." Dan removed his hand from Kyle's hair and rested it on Kyle's bare chest. "To be honest, he is going to freak out more on me that I brought someone home. I don't...like ever."

"Again, I'm honoured." Kyle rested his hand over Dan's and found that it was still, without the trembles from the night before when they touched. "When can I see you again?"

"You really are a stalker." Dan teased and removed his hand from Kyle's chest, breaking the quiet moment. Standing and running his hand through his hair, Dan smiled a crooked grin down at Kyle. "I work all day and most of tonight. Text me. I plan on working on something tomorrow if you are free."

"I work but I should be done around four?" Kyle waited for a response and wondered if he was coming off as needy again. He was going to make a joke to cover it but Dan was already answering him.

"That will work. Do you know Mark? He has a studio, or rather a dungeon underneath a development, but he allows me to use his system. I will be there. I'll text you the address." Dan blushed as he turned his eyes away from the blanket falling down as Kyle sat up on the bed. "Yeah...I best be going. See you tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow." Kyle kept the blanket away and smiled as Dan left after a quick look backward.

Kyle slept in a bit more and had a very awkward encounter with Ian in the bathroom. Apparently, Ian does not read notes before he tries to empty his bladder and he got an eye full of Kyle stepping out of the shower.

"Christ on a literal pogo stick!" Ian screeched as he raised his arms in a fighting stance.

"Sorry. Sorry." Kyle reached for the towel he found for himself and wrapped it around his waist before turning back to Ian. Ian had lowered his arms realizing there was no danger, but he appeared very confused. Until it appeared to hit him.

"Oh my, he did it." Ian smirked at Kyle dripping water onto the floor. "He actually did it. Damn. I'm so proud of my boy. And from what I saw before my eyes realized I was looking at wet, naked Kyle, he did well."

"Oh, fuck off." Kyle laughed reaching for his clothes. "I'm going to put these on and leave you alone. Dan said he left you a note?"

"He sure did. A naked man in the shower to wake me up." Ian laughed again as he reached for his chest. "Damn, my heart is going so fast. Was it good?"

Kyle hugged his clothes to his stomach and blushed himself remembering the night before and Dan's face that morning waking him up. Moving around Ian to go back to Dan's room to dress, he heard Ian making porn soundtrack noises.

Kyle went home after he was dressed and spoke with Ian some more. Ian kept going on about how proud he was of Dan and how he had never seen him bring anyone home. And then Ian went on saying that he was so glad it was someone he knew and was not going to break Dan's heart because, apparently, Dan loved with his heart on his sleeve.

Kyle told Ian that it was still new and they were figuring it out, but he was interested. And then he went on to tell him about joining Dan's band and Kyle thought Ian was going to start freaking out all over again.

Entering his own flat, he heard Josh giving him a catcall and Kyle flipped him off all the way to his room.

The day went by quickly and soon Kyle was waking to start his day. A few hours into work, he saw that Dan had texted him an address. And then sent him two other messages saying that it was fine if he needed to cancel and that he did not expect Kyle to spend his free Friday night with him.

Kyle replied back that he would be there as soon as he could. And then reminded Dan that a stalker never likes to be too far away from their prey.

Thankfully, Dan replied back with a half turned smiley face.

Dan under-described the dodgy look of the building and Kyle wondered if Dan was really recording in a crackhouse from the looks of the outside. Dan told him to text when he arrived so he could guide him through the maze to get to the studio.

"Hello." Dan smiled and turned his head away before Kyle could see if he was blushing or not. Kyle followed Dan back through a series of hallways as they talked about their days.

Kyle was in the middle of the most boring story about how he spent three hours that day trying to find a rattling sound coming from a desk in his boss' office. He stopped his story seeing the dark room Dan led them to and looked to make sure they were stopping.

"I told you." Dan let out a giggle at Kyle's shocked expression and Kyle was taken back to the other morning with Dan above him. And how Dan bit his lip to stop the lovely sound of his giggle.

Reaching for his arm, Kyle pulled Dan closer to him and kissed him. He had missed his lips and he didn't want to wait any longer to kiss them. Dan allowed the kiss to continue and then he pushed Kyle away as Kyle started moving his hand underneath the back of Dan's shirt.

"You didn't finish your story." Dan stayed close as he looked toward Kyle's throat and then his eyes.

"What?" Kyle asked confused. He felt that flutter thing in his stomach again and he wanted to kiss Dan to make it either go away or to increase it.

"The noise? In the desk? Your-" Dan was silenced as Kyle pressed his lips against Dan's and pressed his body back against his own.

They stayed like that for what felt like forever, with Kyle finally breaking away to breathe and check in with Dan.

He was flushed and breathing hard and in Kyle's mind they were in Dan's bed together. That fluttering feeling in his stomach as on high and he wanted to touch more of him. But before he could pull Dan back to him, Dan switched the subject to the reason they were in the dodgy building to being with.

"I want you to listen to something I was working on today. I started it forever ago but the words finally came." Dan's warm breath was moving across his throat and Dan leaned in closer to him, moving his hands down to take both of Kyle's and move him further into the room.

The door was open and whatever drug dealer or pimp that lived here could have had a great show if they happened to walk past the room a few moments ago.

Dan put Kyle into a rolling chair and went about starting the program to allow Kyle to listen to what he had made. Kyle shifted himself in his chair and told himself to focus on the song and not the man playing it for him.

The song was good. Really good actually and Kyle could hear what Dan meant by needing someone else to help fill in the sound for the stage.

"I like it." Kyle gave Dan a genuine smile and saw that Dan was sitting next to him with a worried look on his face. "Why so scared?"

"Default mode." Dan laughed as he looked down to his lap. "I have an idea to make it into a video. Put it on YouTube and Myspace. There is a website that walks you through what to do to get more exposure. I don't know if I want more exposure but Ralph said that people would be interested. He does the same thing for his songs and people share things like crazy on the internet if it is free."

Dan stopped and looked over as if to see if he was boring Kyle. Kyle took Dan's hand away from pulling apart the bottom of his shirt and wheeled in closer to him. Once he had Dan's eyes on him, Kyle smiled. "Tell me more."

Dan appeared to be debating with myself and waiting for Kyle to tell him he wasn't really interested, but Kyle only showed him that he was interested in what he had to say.

Dan talked for another forty minutes about the artists he was following and how they gave away their music for free. And how some were just putting the music out without images of the band, creating a mystery around who was making the tracks. Dan said he wanted to go that path and stay behind the scenes as much as possible. He understood that people would know them from the stage, if they ever played live, but he didn't want to have to put pictures of himself out there.

Kyle had listened and nodded his head along to show Dan he was listening to him. Dan had great ideas and it seemed like he had been thinking about this a lot longer than the original few months line that Dan used at parties. Dan was passionate about this and Kyle was even more glad that he decided to jump on board.

"You have grand plans, babe." Kyle swirled Dan slowly back and forth, glad that Dan had kept his eyes on him the whole time. At least until he called him babe. Then he made a face and turned away from him.

Watching Dan find another song for him to play, Kyle asked. "What?"

"I don't know about the 'babe' thing." Dan shrugged his shoulders and pressed a few more buttons. "Such a generic term."

"You are right. I call everyone it." Kyle stood from his chair and leaned to rest his arms around Dan's shoulders so he was close to the side of his head. "I called my boss it once and he almost lost it on me."

"The boss with the noise in his desk?" Dan turned his head slightly and then back to the program in front of him seeing that Kyle was watching him and not the screen.

"Another one." Kyle kissed along Dan's blushing cheek and found it make it warmer as he blushed more. "Oh, the noise was a random gumball stuck behind the back of the drawers. I had to take it apart to get it out. And then had the pleasure of putting it back together."

"Sounds riveting." Dan said slowly as he tilted his head to give Kyle more access to his neck. Kyle sucked on a spot behind his ear and felt Dan shutter underneath him. "I like that."

"Did Ian tell you he saw me naked?" Kyle turned around Dan's chair and moved to his knees in front of him.

"In detail." Dan was looking at him with want and concern, likely considering the position Kyle put himself into in front of him. “For a straight guy, he remembered an awful lot about your dick.” 

"He said he was proud of you." Kyle leaned his hands on Dan's opened knees and pushed his hands up his thighs, opening them more and then resting his hands on his inner thighs.

"Told you, I don't bring people home." Dan's eyes went to Kyle's hands resting near his crotch and he moved his hands over them. "I've been a bit lost in my head for the last few years. Sorting stuff out and making some changes."

"What kind of changes?" Kyle moved his body closer into Dan's space, brushing the palm of his hands up Dan’s inner thigh but avoiding touching his dick. The floor was hard but he would be fine for what he had in mind.

"Eating better. Exercising. Drinking more water." Dan's voice was getting lower as he watched Kyle move his hands to the zip on his jeans. "Going out more instead of holding up in my room with a book or a film to distract me. Allowing myself to share more with others. Telling myself that I'm..."

Kyle paused moving the zip down and moved his eyes up to Dan's face. He was pale like before, when he was in his bedroom and playing him the song.

"Fuck." Dan shook his head and ran his hand across his forehead before moving it back through his hair. "That I'm into men and that is okay. Just like with the music. I can be vulnerable and share that with other people without fear of being rejected. At least without mind-numbing fear of rejection."

"I'm happy that you made some changes." Kyle leaned forward and kissed along the strip of skin showing below Dan's shirt. Kyle had raised it when he went to unzip him. "Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to do this right now with you."

Kyle smiled against Dan’s skin as he felt Dan's hands moving through his hair. Kyle opened the jeans more and kissed along the fabric of Dan's pants. That got Dan to squeeze his fingers in Kyle's hair and move his hips upward to meet Kyle’s lips.

"Come here." Dan was pulling on Kyle shirt to get him up closer to him. Once he was resting on his knees again, Kyle wrapped his arms around Dan's back and felt Dan do the same. He was breathing harder than he had before and there were gaps in his breathing. "Stay up here with me. Kiss me more."

"Okay." Kyle moved his hand up to cup the back of Dan's head and found his lips. Dan responded back, with the kiss turning into the one they had by the door. Kyle was quite positive that he never enjoyed kissing anyone as much as he enjoyed kissing Dan. 

Dan would alternate between being aggressive and almost attacking Kyle’s mouth to slow, soft kisses that felt like Dan was almost hesitant to move his lips against Kyle’s. 

It was the most wonderful ride. 

It was Dan that broke the kiss again, gently pushing Kyle away and zipping back up his jeans. 

They were both breathing harder and Kyle wondered if he did something wrong. If trying to suck him was too soon. Any other hookup he had with a man, they couldn’t wait to get Kyle between their legs. Dan didn’t seem to play the same rule book as most other people, but Kyle was fine trying to figure out what rules Dan played by. 

It took a while, but both of their breathing returned to normal again and Dan pulled Kyle up with him as he stood. 

"Am I going too fast?" Kyle asked with even pressure on the back of Dan's head, both for comfort and to make sure that Dan didn't shy his eyes away from him. “I didn’t mean to rush you.”

"Just overwhelmed." Dan shrugged his shoulders and kept his eyes on Kyle. "This is a lot for me to process. The music and you. Mainly you. I had been working on getting more comfortable with the music. You are a surprise."

"A good surprise?" Kyle watched Dan close his eyes as Kyle moved his hand through Dan’s hair.

"Fucking terrifying. Like the drop after you are on the highest point of the roller coaster." Dan leaned his head onto Kyle's hand. "But once you survive it, you are waiting back in line for more."

I could fall in love with you, Kyle thought to himself but stopped himself from saying out loud. Kyle moved Dan's head against his shoulder and kept moving his fingers through his hair. It was too soon to say such things. 

Dan tightened his hold around Kyle's waist and moaned as Kyle's fingers added more pressure on his head. “This makes it less overwhelming. I like being near you.” 

"Me as well." Kyle stayed close and felt that flutter in his stomach resurface. 

They left soon afterward. Walking through the city and making conversation, the colours and the sounds of the city at night making a great backdrop to the romantic film Kyle was currently living through. Kyle knew it was just his imagination, but he swore he could hear the music swelling as they walked down the pavement.


	4. Roze

For the next seven days Kyle did not see Dan.

After their day in the studio, they spent the night at Kyle’s flat. They talked more about Dan’s ideas for the band and the music, with Dan falling asleep on Kyle’s chest. Kyle followed him into sleep soon after and he slept soundly until the next morning when Dan woke him up demanding food.

Josh joined them for breakfast and teased Dan about spending so much time with Kyle. Dan’s face dropped at the teasing and Kyle shot Josh a dirty look seeing the effect it had on him. Immediately afterward, Dan looked to his watch and said that he needed to be going.

Kyle thoroughly ripped Josh a new one after walking Dan to the door and telling Dan that Josh meant no harm. And kissing Dan so he knew that Kyle was enjoying spending time with him.

Kyle texted him later in the day and Dan did not respond until the following day. Kyle told Dan again that Josh was just teasing, but Dan only told him it was okay.

Kyle would text him with times that he was free, but Dan would either say he was busy or respond too late. 

On day four, of barely having any text contact, Kyle texted Dan that he missed him and that he had a dream about them. In the dream, they were in Kyle’s bed and Dan was breathing on him while they moved together as one. Kyle did not add that he woke up hard and finished the fantasy in the shower, with Kyle envisioning Dan’s hand on him instead of his own.

Or how he came so hard he had to rest his head against the wall while his heart rate returned to normal.

Six days in and Kyle was horny and sad that Dan was likely avoiding him. He missed him. His body and his mind missed him.

On that sixth day, Kyle ran into Sarah near his flat and she flirted with him as she always did. Kyle liked Sarah, she was smart and funny. And gorgeous. She was the perfect woman and Kyle had been tempted before to start something with her.

“I heard a rumour about you.” Sarah brushed her long brown hair over her shoulder and leaned in closer as she spoke. “A rumour about you and the awkward Dan starting something.”

“Yeah, I agreed to be in his band.” Kyle hated himself for not mentioning that Dan and him had also been spending time with each other outside of band related things. And that he knew what Dan’s mouth tasted like. And how he blushes and lets out breathy moans when he comes. “It is going to be wicked. He has brilliant ideas and the music is amazing.”

“I heard you think he is amazing as well.” Sarah stepped toward Kyle and ran her hand down his stomach, resting on his waist as she gave him a flirty smile. “Why are all the handsome and witty men gay?”

“I’m not...not gay” Kyle swallowed and wondered why Sarah was doing this with him. It was no secret among almost everyone he knew that he was not strictly into males or females. In fact, he remembered having a drunken conversation with Sarah a few weeks ago about how limiting it is to strictly sleep with only one sex. She giggled and said that it was an amazing way to look at love. Then she ignored him for the rest of the night and left the party with another man. “You know this.”

“Been acting pretty gay lately.” Sarah moved his hand down toward Kyle’s crotch and Kyle bit his lip as his body responded. 

But it was only because he was horny and Dan had been avoiding him. The fantasies with Dan and him together had been increasing within the past few days and Kyle frequently found himself getting hard at random moments of the day.

But as much as his body did not seem to understand that it wasn’t Dan’s hand on him, his mind knew and he didn’t want to jeopardize anything that might be developing with Dan. Even if Dan appeared to be avoiding him.

“Sarah, not here.” Kyle moved his hand down and gently removed her hand from the hardness in his pants. They were on the street, and while it was later at night, there were people walking about and Kyle did not feel like getting arrested for indecent exposure.

“Come to mine?” Sarah seductively smiled up at him and little Kyle responded but Kyle did not want Sarah. He wanted Dan.

“Sorry. I’m not looking to start anything right now.” Kyle added in his head, because I already falling in love with Dan and just waiting for him to return.

"I'm not asking you to marry me." Sarah gave his a slight giggle and licked at her bottom lip. "Just a bit of mutual stress relief among friends."

Sarah was wonderful but he knew he wouldn't enjoy it. Stress relief or not, she was not who he wanted.

"Not what I'm looking for at the moment." Kyle gave her a polite smile and hoped she would drop it.

“Fine.” The smile dropped and Sarah moved around him, walking away from him. “Find me when you get over your dick phase.”

Kyle adjusted himself in his pants and looked around to see if anyone had witnessed their encounter. No one seemed to be paying him any mind.

His room was dark and lonely. Laying on his bed and opening his phone, Kyle frowned seeing that Dan still hadn’t responded to his text from this morning. Kyle had asked if Dan was going to Ralph’s gig the next night.

Adjusting himself in his pants as he pictured Dan with a flushed face and dancing to music, Kyle moaned and hoped he would be there.

Lowering his hand, he turned his head into his pillow and imagined Dan's body next to him. Dan's hand unzipping him and Dan's lips on his neck. Dan's breathy moans adding with his own. 

Coming with a sigh of frustration, Kyle opened his eyes and stared at the bare ceiling above him. It wasn't the same and he was getting sick of his hand.

It turned out that the universe was on his side because Dan was in fact there. He was sitting with Ralph’s other mates and waiting for the gig to begin. It was a small pub that had a stage, with local bands rotating through on weekends.

Walking up to the group, Kyle couldn't hide his smile when Dan looked his way. Those big blue eyes found his and Kyle’s smile increased. Until Dan looked away and went back to the conversation he was having with someone Kyle didn’t know next to him.

So he was avoiding him.

Kyle ordered a beer from the bar and ran into Sarah as he turned to walk back to the group. Maybe the universe was a sick hearted bitch because not only was Dan ignoring him, now he had to deal with Sarah again.

“Hiya, Kylie.” Sarah slurred her words as she leaned her weight against Kyle. Her cup was almost empty, otherwise it would have been down his shirt and jeans. “Miss me yet?”

“Sarah.” Kyle helped to steady her and looked around to see if her friends were with her. Kyle found Melissa and another lady he did not know the name of looking their way and giggling. “Let’s get you back to your friends.”

“Nah, Kylie. Let’s get you out of your pants.” Sarah moved her free hand down to the button on Kyle’s jeans. “And into my pants.”

Sarah’s hand was fumbling with the simple task of opening his jeans, showing how wasted she was and now Kyle needed to get her back to her friends before she did something embarrassing.

Removing her hand, Kyle moved it back to her side and Sarah laughed as Kyle’s hand brushed her breast.

“Bet you miss titties.” Sarah continued to laugh as Kyle gently guided her across the room to the table where her friends were watching and laughing at them. “I have nice titties. I would show you but you only want dick now. Sad Sarah titties.”

“Ladies.” Kyle greeted Sarah’s friends as they reached the table. Gently removing Sarah’s hand from his shirt, Kyle helped Sarah sit down and moved away from her before she could grab him again. “Please make sure she gets home okay and doesn’t go home with some random arsehole?”

“But Kyle, she wants to go home with you.” The other lady said as Kyle walked away from them and took a long drink of his beer.

As he got closer to the table where Dan and their mates had been, he saw that Dan was gone.

Fuck.

“Where did he go?” Kyle asked Joey.

“Probably to go cry on Ralph’s shoulder.” Joey nodded in the direction of the stage and the door next to it. Kyle had not been back there but he knew it was a small room that musicians could use when they were playing. “He left when Sarah started groping you.”

“Thanks.” Kyle walked toward the door near the stage and knocked, waiting for an answer.

Ralph opened the door right as Kyle was about to give up and leave the pub all together.

“Hello.” Ralph smiled at him and tilted his head in Dan’s direction. “Someone is ready to talk to you now.”

Ian patted Kyle’s shoulder as he left the room with Ralph, leaving Kyle alone in the small room with Dan.

Kyle crossed his arm around his stomach and took a long drink from his beer. Dan was sat on a small, worn sofa, one leg bent and his foot resting on the sofa. Dan’s arm was hugging the bent leg to his chest and his eyes were on the floor. His hair wild and Kyle felt that flutter in his stomach again.

“I’ve missed you.” Kyle started and wished that Dan would raise his head and acknowledge he was there. “I’m happy that you are here. So I can see you. Texts aren’t the same as seeing you.”

Dan didn’t say anything but he stopped messing with his shoelace at Kyle’s words.

“Sarah is drunk.” Kyle tried again but found himself lost for words.

Outside the door, Kyle heard Ralph’s guitar and then his voice adding to it. The room wasn’t soundproof but Ralph’s music was fairly soft so there was no concern that Dan wouldn’t be able to hear him.

“Fuck, will you say something, please?” Kyle shifted his feet and then walked closer to Dan. He stopped as Dan started talking.

“If you want someone to fuck, I would go with Sarah.” Dan looked up briefly and Kyle saw that his eyes were red. “She is better for you.”

“You are right.” Kyle took a brave step and sat down next to Dan on the sofa. “If I wanted someone to fuck, Sarah would be an easy option. She has been practically throwing herself at me. She tried yesterday as well and I was tempted for about three seconds. But only because I was missing you and she would be a great distraction from that.”

“I would understand.” Dan looked over and kept looking at him out of the corner of his eyes. “She would be more experienced. She would have sex with you and not make everything so complicated.”

“True.” Kyle smiled and moved his hand over, resting it on Dan’s forearm. “But, my head wouldn’t be in it because it keeps thinking about you.”

“I am not going to fuck you.” Dan turned his eyes away from Kyle. “Sorry, but I’m about ten steps away from that right now.”

“Okay.” Kyle nodded and set down his beer bottle on the ground so he could turn more toward Dan and use his other hand to brush back hair from his face. “I am fine with that.”

“Your texts.” Dan leaned his head into Kyle’s hand in his hair. “Said you keep dreaming about having sex with me.”

“Sorry if that came on as too forward.” Kyle moved in closer and moved his fingers through Dan’s hair so they went all the way to the back of his head. It defied physics by springing back up as it did. “I was...I dunno. I wanted to show you that I had been missing you and thinking about you. I could see how I was misleading you in thinking that I was only thinking about having sex with you. I wasn’t though. I mean, that would be wicked, but I have been thinking about you outside of that as well.”

Dan turned so he was facing Kyle, his leg moving down to the floor. From straight on, he could see how red his eyes were and it pained Kyle to see him that way. “How so?”

“About how your giggle is probably the best thing I have ever heard. And how you hum and sing under your breath without realizing it. About how your hair is so soft to touch and your skin is always warm against mine.” Kyle moved his hand to the back of Dan’s neck and watched as Dan closed his eyes as he squeezed his neck. “About how much my stomach seems to flutter when I’m near you. Or when I think about you. I’ve never had that before.”

“Really?” Dan asked slowly as he opened his eyes and gave Kyle the faintest smile.

“Right now, it is going mad.” Kyle smiled back and lost his breath as Dan’s lips attacked his own.

Kyle sighed at the contact and kissed back with just as much urgency. He had missed those lips and those soft sounds that Dan made when he kissed him. 

Soon he had Dan climbing over to sit in his lap, with their lips continuing to move against one another. Even after Dan’s foot kicked the bottle on the floor and it broke on the cement.

Dan pushed him back against the sofa, Kyle’s head hitting the wall behind it as Dan’s tongue moved into his mouth. Dan was rubbing against him and he felt himself harden.

“That fluttering thing.” Dan gave him gentle kisses along his jaw as he spoke. “I think I feel them as well. I thought maybe I was ill or something, but they are quite nice.”

“Yeah. They are.” Kyle leaned his head back and it hit the wall again but it didn’t matter because Dan’s lips were sucking underneath his ear. Kyle could hear Ralph’s voice in the background and both of their breathing in the room. “God, I could fall so hard for you.”

Dan stopped kissing his neck and moved his head back so he could look at Kyle. Dan’s hands were holding tight onto the back of Kyle’s arms and he didn’t move from Kyle’s lap.

Dan looked lost staring back at him. He opened his mouth to say something but then stopped himself.

There was a series of loud catcalls heard outside and then applause. Ralph’s set was likely coming to an end.

“I’m sorry.” Kyle found Dan’s eyes and attempted to explain himself. “I mean, this is so great. I have never had it before with anyone and you are so fucking brilliant, what is not to love? You have so many amazing ideas and the band is going to be amazing. And those damn pink cheeks. It is just-”

“I think I’m falling for you too.” Dan gave him a crooked smile and his cheeks blushed a deeper shade of pink. “I’ve missed you loads. I have been dreaming about you as well.”

“Really?” Kyle raised his hands to cup Dan’s jaw and smiled leaning forward and kissing him. Dan kissed him back and soon his hands were moving underneath Kyle’s shirt.

Before they could go any further, the door was knocked on and then slowly opened. Kyle groaned as Ralph called out to tell them that everyone was getting ready to leave.

“Thanks.” Dan smiled at Kyle and stood, holding out his hand to help Kyle up. Turning toward Ralph, Dan ran his hand through his hair and continued to smile.

“I see you worked out whatever misunderstanding was going on between you?” Ralph smirked in their direction. “Don’t let him get away.”

“I won’t.” Both Kyle and Dan said at the same time.

Ralph made eye contact with Dan for a few more seconds and then nodded shutting the door again.

Dan blushed more as he straightened his clothing and brushed his hand through his hair again.

Kyle was fixing his clothes as well and trying to ignore the hardness in his pants. Dan stood in front of him blushing and trying to tame his hair was not helping his situation.

They were able to get themselves under control and Kyle reached for Dan’s hand as he opened the door for them. Most of their group were gone and the pub was clearing out.

As they stepped out into the cooler night air, Kyle pulled on Dan’s hand to turn him toward him.

“What?” Dan smiled and stepped in so he was directly in front of Kyle, their hands still held tight together.

“I dunno. I’m just chuffed that you are here right now with me.” Kyle leaned in and gave Dan a gentle kiss before stepping back a bit. “Can I sleep over at yours?”

Dan nodded his head and gave Kyle another kiss before pulling him in the direction of his flat. It was close enough that they would walk.

“I’m not interested in Sarah.” Kyle squeezed Dan’s hand while they walked. They were almost to Dan’s flat. “Maybe if what we have wasn’t happening, yes. I’m not really interested in anyone one else either.”

“Okay.” Kyle saw Dan looking over at him. “What does that mean?”

“I think it means that I don’t want to see anyone else.” Kyle stopped them as they neared the door to Dan’s building. “And I hope you don’t either.”

Dan bit underneath his lip and slowly shook his head. “I don’t either. I mean, not that I was, but I only want to see you.”

“Do we have a label?” Kyle asked as Dan took his other hand and pulled him in to him. “Like, can I call you my boyfriend?”

“If you want.” Dan nodded and kissed Kyle, his lips staying near Kyle. “But never babe.”

“Noted.” Kyle kissed Dan crinkled nose from the word and licked against his lips, savouring the moment. “Baby?”

“Are you also calling your boss ‘baby’?” Dan kissed Kyle’s jaw and then nipped at his neck as Kyle answered.

“Yes. One of them loves it. The other, not so much.”

“Then no.” Dan blew on the spot on Kyle’s neck that he just licked and Kyle felt his knees give out for a minute. Real life Dan was so much better than imaginary Dan.

“Can we go inside before I come in my pants?” Kyle pulled on Dan’s hands and started them up the stairs to the door. “Daniel.”

“Veto.” Dan laughed as he shook his head. “That sounds like I’m in trouble.”

Kyle kissed Dan back against the door to the building and wrapped his hand around Dan’s back and then lowering it to his bum. He could feel how hard Dan was against him and he didn’t care if anyone could see them.

The idea of Dan being trouble with him was making him stupid with want for him. That was going too far and he wasn’t going to mention it just yet.

Dan pulled away from him with a deep moan and opened the door before Kyle could attack him again.

“Please tell me you don’t have a punishment kink.” Dan pushed Kyle against the wall near his flat door after likely still seeing the look on Kyle’s face.

Kyle started breathing a bit heavier as Dan pressed his hips against his own. Fuck, he was hard and now he could only think of Dan shying away from him as Kyle spanked him. How he could make his bum a lovely shade of pink.

“Nope.” Kyle shook his head and moaned into Dan’s mouth as he felt Dan’s hand palming at his erection through his clothing. Dan was being bad and he wanted to tell him but he couldn’t bring himself to put the words together.

“Liar.” Dan stood back away from him suddenly and Kyle almost lost his balance without Dan holding him against the wall.

They made it back to Dan’s room before their lips and hands were back on one another. It didn’t take much for either of them to get off.

Afterward, Dan tossed some night clothes in Kyle’s direction and with the shyest of voices told Kyle that he had bought him a toothbrush to keep at his place.

That fluttering feeling in his stomach was full on going mad and Kyle couldn’t wait to go toothbrush shopping for Dan.


	5. गुलाबी

Dan gave Kyle a copy of the songs he had been working on so Kyle could practice them before their next band practice. Kyle used his free time away from work and Dan to focus on learning the songs. He wanted to impress Dan and show them that he would be a good fit for the band.

Now that he and Dan were together, he wanted the band gig to last a long time.

Dan had told him more about Woody and Will, at least what Dan knew about them. From what Dan said, they both seemed invested in the band. Maybe even more than Dan. 

Dan said that once they learned to play all the songs together, the plan was to go on the road. Ralph had a list of places that allowed new bands to play all around England. And if someone would ring them for Dan, his goal was to get a van and travel to them as soon as next year. 

Kyle was excited about the idea of going on the road, but he was a bit petrified as well. Playing in front of others had never been his strong suit. He loved music and making music, but performing it in front of others was nerve wracking.

As Kyle suspected, Dan also had apprehensions about performing the songs live. Dan begrudgingly showed Kyle a few more performances that he had over the years since Ralph broke his secret. Some were video recordings taken by a mate in his house.

The best one he saw was a crappy recording of Dan and Ralph singing together. It was filmed in their old flat share and both looked young compared to now.

Their voices blended well together and the shake that was typically in Dan's voice was gone. And, Dan appeared to have no problem giving him direct eye contact throughout the song.

Dan had yet to even look in Kyle's direction while he was playing. Not that Kyle was that much better, but he could at least take his eyes off the keys to check in with the others every now and then. 

Kyle figured that it was likely more of a comfort level thing. Ralph had known Dan longer and Dan probably already worked out his social anxieties around him. But still, he was curious.

Dan had came to his following work. That was starting to become a common thing they did and Kyle loved it. 

Dan was tired and a bit agitated when he arrived. His boss had been on one all day and Dan said he wanted to retreat back into his solitude five minutes after he arrived at work. And the night just got worse until the magical moment when Dan arrived at Kyle’s place. 

"You didn't have to come 'round if you were so exhausted." Kyle smiled at the sight of Dan's long frame sprawled out on his bed. He had his eyes closed and his limbs stretched out wide. His hair was wild across Kyle's pillow. Dan had fallen back into his bed as soon as he entered the room, letting out a soft sigh when his back hit the bed.

"You are going to have to make me leave. This bed is now my home." Dan turned his head to the side and slowly opened his eyes to Kyle sat on the edge of the bed, barely able to fit on it given Dan being sprawled out. "Want to join me in my home?"

"You seem to have taken up all the real estate." Kyle grinned at the flirty look Dan was giving him. Dan was becoming more comfortable with him and it was amazing. It didn’t matter if Dan could only look at Ralph while he sang if Kyle was the one allowed to see this flirty side of Dan’s personality. "Where ever will I go?"

"On top?" Dan used his arms to pull Kyle on top of him and increased his smile as Kyle settled on him. Kyle kept his legs inside of Dan's legs and tucked his arms underneath him so they rested on Dan's chest. "See. Perfect."

"I'm looking forward to tomorrow." Kyle rested his chin on his arms and watched as Dan closed his eyes again. "Tell me about your mum. Give me something so I can impress her."

The last practice was at Dan’s parents but Kyle did not see Dan’s mother. He was nervous arriving with Dan due to the potential of meeting her, but then Dan told him that she was busy in another part of the flat. 

"My mum is going to be in the furthest part from us. That is the rule, like I said last time. She can hear us play once we are good." Dan let out a slow breath. "And if we are never good, then she doesn't get to hear us."

"You want to impress her?" Kyle asked curious. He only knew a bit about Dan's parents as Dan rarely talked about them. Dan rarely talked about anything personal unless Kyle asked him directly. "Or is she like super critical?"

"I guess impress her more? My dad and her met at a gig, they are both folk musicians. Now they are boring lawyers, but I guess back in the day, they were all in the scene." Dan opened his eyes to Kyle. "And my cousin is in a band in South Africa. Family of musicians and I want to live up to their legacies. No pressure."

"Did you ever sing with them?" Kyle felt like Dan was removing another layer and he wanted to continue to learn more.

"Family holidays and the like. Nothing proper." Dan moved his hand and brushed his fingers through Kyle's hair, smiling as he found a knot. Kyle had ripped out a chuck of Dan's hair the other day because of a knot. "Ah ha, you have one as well."

"Nothing like the one in your mop." Kyle teased back. "Tell me more about them."

"What do you want to know?" Dan smoothed out the knot and went back to brushing Kyle's hair. Dan’s eyes were on his hair rather than looking at his eyes. 

"I dunno." Kyle closed his eyes as his body tingled. That fluttering in his stomach was starting again. "I'll start. Like, my family is big and loud. We all look alike and my nan makes the best bread pudding. My dad keeps getting on me about finding a proper job and I do not have the heart to tell him I don't know what I want to do with my life."

"My nan would go head to head with your nan." Dan traced his finger around Kyle's ear and then down his jaw to rest on his chin.

When Kyle opened his eyes, he found Dan looking at him with a worried look. Kyle asked softly, "What?"

"I dunno." There was sadness in his voice and Dan’s eyes seemed transfixed on his fingers in Kyle’s hair. "I don't know if my nan can ever know about you. She doesn't know...about me. She wouldn't approve. I love her but her ideas...she can never know about me. About you. And that is sad because you are so wonderful."

Unfolding his arms, Kyle pushed himself further up and gave Dan a gentle kiss before resting his forehead on Dan's head. They didn't speak any more about it.

The next night, practice was going well. True to Dan's word, his mum was nowhere to be seen again. Kyle was both disappointed and a bit relieved. 

Kyle had never met a parent of someone he was seeing before and he didn't know how he was supposed to act. Was he to start a conversation with her? Just say, ‘Hello and how do you do?’ What if he gave her the wrong impression and then Dan stopped talking to him again?

"Let's do that last part again." Dan looked up from his keyboard and waited until everyone was paying attention. "Kyle come in a bit sooner and Will wait for Woody to lead you in."

Everyone listened and they started again, with the song finally sounding like the version Dan had played them before they began. It was slightly different but real because it was actual instruments. Dan grinned at the end. It was the first time Dan appeared to relax since Kyle had been playing with them.

"I think we have it." Kyle offered and crossed his arms across his waist. He was hungry and hoped that they would end soon so he could steal Dan away and eat. "Call it a night?"

"Yeah." Dan nodded. He seemed to be thinking in his head and nodded again a few seconds later.

As everyone was putting their things away, Dan offered to the group. "We need to practice more because I want to go on the road with this. And soon. What are everyone's thoughts?"

"I came to be a rock star." Will deadpanned to the group.

"I'm game." Woody nodded.

"You know I'm in." Kyle grinned to Dan and saw his eyes light up. Wow, that was nice to see.

"Okay." Dan moved to grab a notebook and turned to a page full of handwriting. "Here is my plan for getting on the road."

Kyle was starved by the time they left Dan's parents. His mum waved a hello and farewell at them before everyone left and Kyle may be imagining it, but he was fairly sure that her eyes stayed on him the longest of the bunch.

“She looked at me.” Kyle said after they finished their meal. Dan made them sandwiches at Kyle's place and they were cleaning up their mess. Kyle was going to say something earlier but he didn’t know what to say. 

“And?” Dan brushed the crumbs off the counter top, his eyes on his task but Kyle could tell he was holding his breath at what Kyle would say. 

“Like, she looked at me longer.” Kyle added to explain himself. “Does she know? About us, I mean.” 

“No.” Dan shook his head and hugged his arms to his waist as he leaned back against the counter he just cleaned. 

“Does she know about you?” Kyle asked hesitantly. 

“Kinda.” Dan shrugged and dropped his eyes down to the floor. “She knows that I’m not into women. I think she believes I’m not into anyone.” 

“Okay.” Kyle nodded even though Dan was not looking at him. Stepping in closer, Kyle unwrapped Dan’s hands from himself and took his hands in his own. Locking their fingers together, Kyle pushed them out and smiled when Dan looked up. “We sounded fucking awesome tonight.” 

“Did we?” Dan smiled back, likely thankful that the conversation from before was over. “We kinda did though. Right?” 

“We did.” Kyle leaned in and kissed Dan, smiling against his mouth as Dan made a happy sound at the contact. Dan would do that sometimes when Kyle kissed him and it was maddening. Kyle kissed further into Dan’s mouth yet kept their arms out when Dan tried to remove his hands. 

“What are you doing?” Dan pulled away from his mouth and gave him a weird look. 

“I dunno.” Kyle moved his joined hands in closer and held them up between them. His chest felt warm and those butterflies in his stomach were getting restless again. “I really like spending time with you. These past few weeks...they have been amazing.” 

And there goes the blushing and the shy eyes looking away from him. 

Instead of saying anything, Dan pulled Kyle with him to Kyle's room and laid them both on the bed. They dropped their joined hands and they were both lying facing each other. 

Kyle fell asleep with the soft sounds of Dan breathing next to him. 

Dreams are wicked. 

In the one he was currently having, Dan was in his bed lying naked. His skin was flushed from head to toe and he was looking at Kyle with want. 

Kyle was lying naked on his back and Dan was beside him. Then Dan was lying between his legs and there was a wet warmth surrounding his dick. 

And then vibrations went through him as Dan began to hum with Kyle in his mouth. 

Kyle’s hips bucked up and Dan gagged on him. 

Kyle clenched his fists into Dan’s hair after he recovered and helped ease Dan back down on him. 

It felt so good. 

Too good. 

But so nice. 

Smiling as he opened his eyes, Kyle could still feel the wet heat on his cock and he keened wishing it was real. 

The heat remained on him and there were wet sounds of a mouth on him. 

Kyle raised his head and looked down to find Dan’s hair moving up and down with the movement of his head. 

Fuck if that wasn’t the best thing he had ever seen. 

Dan was being gentle with him and lowering his mouth slowly until he had the majority of Kyle in his mouth. Then he would slowly move his mouth off him, sucking at the head before repeating himself. 

Kyle wanted to say something but he couldn’t find words that would mean anything. 

Dan took a breath after releasing Kyle and Kyle could feel his warm breath on the wetness of his cock. He was hard and that felt amazing. And he couldn’t stop himself from making a low moan. 

Dan’s eyes shot up to his quickly and he looked a bit panicked. His hand was squeezed around the base of Kyle’s cock and Kyle felt it tighten as Dan’s cheeks blushed a deep shade of pink. 

Fuck, he was trying to kill him. Literally murder him. 

“Please, don’t stop.” Kyle pleaded once he remembered what words meant again. “That feels so good.” 

“Don’t look.” Dan said quietly but Kyle listened. 

Kyle already had enough images in his brain to wank himself off for a lifetime. 

Pushing his head back against the pillow, Kyle closed his eyes and gripped the sheets as Dan’s mouth was back on him. He was doing the same pattern as before, only he seemed to pause more after he moved off him. Kyle wondered if Dan was checking in to see if Kyle had listened and kept his eyes off him. 

Dan went a bit too far and, just like the dream, he gagged a bit around him and Kyle couldn’t stop his hips from bucking up. 

“Fuck, I’m so fucking close.” Kyle moaned out. He wanted to put his hands in Dan’s hair or tell him how much he loved him, but both of those would likely make Dan stop. And there was no option of stopping. 

“It’s okay.” Dan kissed down his dick and mouthed at his balls. “I want you to come in my mouth. I want to know what you taste like.” 

Cause of death: Dan’s mouth. 

Dan finished sucking on his balls and moved back into his previous pattern on his cock. After the second time Dan went down, Kyle moaned and bucked his hips up, his right hand finding Dan’s hair and giving it a tug. 

This was love. 

Waking to the most amazing person he had ever met sucking him off and allowing him to release down his throat. And then continue soft, gentle sucking until Kyle’s breathing evened it self. 

Kyle reached down and used his long arms to pull Dan up to him. 

Dan’s eyes were wide and he seemed both proud and shocked all at once. 

Kissing him, Kyle lost himself in the taste of himself in Dan’s mouth and felt his dick start to twitch again. 

After leaving him breathless, Dan raised his head and asked him, “Was that alright?” 

“You cheeky little shit.” Kyle grinned up at him. Was that alright? Much an understatement for what that was. “That was fucking amazing. I can still feel my heart racing.” 

Dan shied his eyes away and Kyle wasn’t having it. Moving his hand to the side of Dan’s head, Kyle moved his head so he was looking at Kyle again. “I mean it. That was the best way to wake up. Ever.” 

“I didn’t know if I should. I didn’t ask if it was okay.” Dan rested his head against Kyle’s chest, finally breaking the eye contact Kyle was forcing him to maintain. “I woke up and you looked so nice lying there. And I could feel you against my thigh. And I wanted to so badly.” 

Kyle moved his hand over to brush through Dan’s hair and allowed him to center himself. 

“I’m glad you did.” Kyle used his other hand to hug Dan closer to him. “For the record, anytime you want to do that, I am game.”

“You are good for me.” Dan said softly into Kyle’s chest, his voice barely loud enough for Kyle to hear him. “So good.” 

“Can I?” Kyle asked after a few minutes. Dan still had his face buried into Kyle’s chest and Kyle was still making absentminded patterns in Dan’s hair. “Dan?” 

Kyle listened for a response and only heard the soft even breaths of Dan sleeping. There wasn’t a clock nearby and Kyle was not going to move to find one, but he was fairly certain it was still early in the morning. 

Closing his eyes, he grinned and allowed himself to fall back asleep.


	6. 粉

After Kyle woke up the second time that morning, he quickly removed himself from the bed and put on clothes without waking Dan. He wanted to surprise him with breakfast in bed. Neither of them had to work that day and Kyle wanted to take advantage of their time together.

He had thoughts of waking Dan up the same way Dan had done for him, but Kyle did not want to shock him. He was even wondering if maybe he dreamed the whole thing and if he did that to Dan, he would never see him again. 

There was a donut shop around the corner for his flat and he knew he could go there quickly and make it back before Dan woke up. At least he hoped he could.

Getting an assortment of donuts and two hot chocolates, Kyle made it back to his room within fifteen minutes. It was early enough that Josh wasn’t awake yet so he didn’t get any sass from him about Kyle going out of his way to be sweet to Dan. 

Dan was still asleep, lying on his side in the place that Kyle had abandoned. Fuck, he was cute.

Almost too cute to wake up but he felt like a creepier staring at him sleeping. Maybe just a few minutes more. 

Setting down the donuts and the hot drinks on a table by his bed, Kyle sat on the bed and gently rubbed at Dan's shoulder. Dan let out a huff and turned toward Kyle opening his eyes. He blinked and then his eyes went wide. Before he could panic, Kyle gave him a smile and told him good morning.

Dan blinked again and then moved to sit up. Once he was sitting with his back against the wall, he curled his legs up to his chest and kept his eyes on Kyle, likely waiting for him to say something about what he did earlier that morning. Kyle figured that would wait.

"I went and got donuts for us." Kyle reached for the box and Dan's hot chocolate. "And hot chocolate. I feel like sugar for breakfast."

Dan looked toward the offered cup and then back to Kyle before taking it in his hand. Hugging it to his chest, he looked to the box Kyle was opening and he smiled.

"Thank you." Dan looked back up at him and his cheeks went their shade of pink. Soon afterward, Dan started laughing to himself and brushed his hair off his forehead with his free hand. It was a mess and sticking up in every direction. He looked amazing.

"What?" Kyle asked curious at Dan change in mood. He went from shy and panicked to giggling on his bed.

"Nothing." Dan shook his head and covered his eyes with his free hand. "I was just thinking about how my teenage self is dying inside at this. All of this. What I did earlier. And a fit man in the same bed as me and he bought me sweets."

So it wasn’t a dream. 

"My teenage self would wonder why I abandoned you to get sweets before I returned the favour for you." Kyle moved in closer and picked out a chocolate-covered donut. There were two of each kind, for a total of six to share. "And he would be giving me a high five at the experience of having a fit man perform that service. I was strictly birds when I was a teenager. I fancied a few of the blokes at school but no courage to act on those thoughts. My teenage self would think you are wicked."

"I've never..." Dan kept his head down and rubbed his hand across his forehead. "But I really wanted to. Maybe you could..."

Kyle put the half eaten donut back in the box and took Dan's drink away from him. Setting both on the table, Kyle turned back to move so he has sitting on his knees on the bed. Dan was in front of him and giving him wide eyes, but there was no sign that he wanted Kyle to stop.

Using his hands to push down Dan's knees, Kyle moved in closer and kept his eyes on Dan the whole way down.

Dan raised his hips to allow Kyle to push down his clothes and Kyle wasted no time getting Dan inside his mouth. 

It had been awhile since he had someone inside his mouth but Kyle was always told that he was especially good at giving head. 

He felt Dan swelling up inside his mouth and it made his mouth water. He had wanted to do this for Dan for a long time and he wanted to make it good. 

Kyle smiled as he felt Dan’s hands in his hair. He liked it when they got a little rough with his hair when he did this and he wanted to tell Dan to keep going, but he still felt like this was some sort of spell and if he talked about it, it would go away. 

Using his hand to push down the foreskin, Kyle heard Dan whine as his mouth took Dan completing inside. The head of Dan’s cock was at the back of his throat and he swallowed taking Dan in further. There was a loud moan and Dan’s hands gripped his hair tight. Dan’s hips bucked up into his mouth and Kyle felt Dan come. 

Kyle stayed where he was as long as he could before he needed more air inside his lungs. Dan’s hands had lessened their grip when he slowly pulled back and allowed Dan’s dick to rest against his thigh. 

Looking at Dan, Kyle found him with his eyes closed and a very content look on his face. Kyle prided himself in making Dan look that way and lowered his head down onto Dan’s thigh to rest. 

"What does your teenage self have to say about that?" Kyle asked, his head still on Dan's bare thigh.

It took awhile for Dan to answer, with Dan letting out quiet hums as he likely tried to come up with words. 

"Better than donuts." Dan kept his eyes closed as he answered. His hand moved through Kyle's hair, gentle this time like he was trying to fix the mess he made of it. "Almost as good as David Lynch."

"Almost?!" Kyle feigned shock and moved so he was hovering over Dan. Ticking around his ribs, Dan let out the loudest shriek as Kyle's fingers found a particularly sensitive spot. Before Kyle could repeat, Dan's hands found his and quickly flipped them over. 

Kyle settle down further on the bed so he was lying flat and Dan followed him. 

Kyle laughed as Dan's hands were now on his waist and ticking him. Dan was smiling above him and Kyle was letting out embarrassing sounds.

Soon both of them silently declared a truce and Dan collapsed again Kyle's chest while they both found their breath again.

"Our hot chocolates are getting cold." Kyle let out a fake whine and moved them both up. Kyle rested his weight on his elbows and Dan pulled up his clothes before sitting on his knees above him.

"Never let a hot chocolate get cold." Dan teased back. He reached across the bed and handed Kyle one of the cups and then one for himself. He sat back on his feet and took a sip. His cheeks were pink from their activities and Kyle couldn't help himself.

"I love you."

Dan stopped mid-drink and opened his eyes to find Kyle.

"I'm sorry if that is too soon but I do." Kyle sat up further and set down his cup before moving closer to Dan frozen in place between his legs. "No one has ever captured my heart like you have. I hardly even know you and I feel like I know you. And you are wonderful. You don't have to say it back. I just...just wanted you to know."

Dan swallowed his drink and blushed looking down. In what felt like forever, Dan said something underneath his breath and Kyle had to ask him to repeat. 

Dan set down his drink and moved his body over Kyle’s, his arms holding him up and his face close to Kyle’s. Dan gave him a lingering kiss on his lips and then moved back to say, “I love you.” 

“Really?” Kyle’s face hurt at how much he was smiling. He said it back. He didn’t run and hide from him. He said it back. 

Dan kissed him again, this time with tongue and sounds and everything nice. Kyle allowed himself to fall back on the bed and Dan never broke contact with his lips. 

Their mouths had a variety of tastes in them but it didn’t matter because they were in love. 

Kyle was in love. 

Kyle had never been in love. It was a bit overwhelming but so worth it. 

Dan’s hands were pulling at his clothes and soon they were both naked and moving against one another. It felt right. Kyle wanted this to last a bit longer so he slowed down the movement of his hips against Dan’s and kissed along his neck to his ear. 

Dan was doing those breathy moans that meant that he was close and Kyle told him to try to hold off. Dan let out a strange sound in reply but he slowed his hips as well. 

It was almost like torture to move so slow and gentle against one another but it felt so good at the same time. 

Dan lost control first and pushed up against him as he came, with Kyle allowing himself to follow right afterward. 

They were a mess and clinging to one other, both sweaty and covered in what they just did. Kyle could feel Dan’s heart beating against his chest and it matched the rate his was going as well. 

Finding Dan’s mouth, he kissed him and moved them so he was lying on top again. His body wasn’t ready to go again but he was almost there. 

“We need to shower.” Dan panted against Kyle’s face as he pulled away to breathe. 

“Don’t want to leave this bed.” Kyle kissed the blush along Dan’s neck and bit at the skin near his ear. “Just want to move against you all day and hear those wonderful sounds you make.” 

“That sounds amazing, but…” Dan paused as Kyle bit at his neck. Dan was starting to get hard again and he moved his hips up to meet Kyle’s thigh. 

“But what, Pinky?” Kyle sucked on the part of his neck he made a lovely shade of pink and moved his thigh up to press against Dan’s cock. 

“Pinky?” Dan breathed out as Kyle felt his neck muscle stretch as he pushed his head back further into the pillow. “Is that my nickname?” 

“My nickname for you.” Kyle blew gently on the spot on Dan’s neck he created and felt Dan shutter at the sensation. “Only you.” 

“Kyle.” Dan whined as he pressed up against Kyle’s thigh, after so many orgasms it must be almost painful to be hard again. 

Kyle moved their bodies over so he could get into the drawer in the table. He had some lube and it would help things along. 

“What are you doing?” Dan asked as he tensed against Kyle. 

“Nothing you are not ready for.” Kyle gave him a quick kiss on his lips before opening the cap to the lube and putting some on his hand. “It is just to make things a bit more smoother...so you can come again.” 

Dan closed his eyes and pushed his head back against the pillow as Kyle’s slick hand took him again and started making movements up and down his length. It was much easier this way and Kyle felt himself twitch at the sounds Dan was making. 

Fuck, those sounds were amazing. 

Wrapping himself and Dan together in his hand, he moved them against one another and bit his lip as he released again. Lowering his head down on Dan’s shoulder to recover, he felt Dan twitching in his hand as well. 

They laid like that forever. 

Kyle body felt sore and used in the best way.

It was Dan that moved first, talking about how sticky he was and that they really needed a shower. Kyle reluctantly agreed and asked if Dan wanted to join him to save water. 

Dan laughed and swatted at his arm before nodding his head in agreement. 

The water was warm and they spent longer in there then needed, but Dan’s lips were too tempting to not taste. 

Finally dressed and sitting in the lounge, Dan smiled at him as he bit into a donut. “Fuck, these are amazing.” 

“I know.” Kyle moved his foot against Dan’s leg. They were sat on the sofa on opposite ends with their legs up and touching one another. He was finishing his second donut and was wondering how long he could stay this far away from Dan. 

“You two owe me earplugs.” Josh walked into the lounge with his hands over his eyes. “Is it safe to look?” 

“Yes, you idiot.” Kyle laughed as Josh bumped into the back of the sofa due to his limited eyesight. “And there are plenty of earplugs in the bath due to your late night escapades.” 

“Fuck off, I’m a gentleman.” Josh uncovered his eyes and smiled at the pair. “Good morning, lovebirds.” 

Dan shied away from Josh’s words but he didn’t make up an excuse to leave, so Kyle took that as progress. 

“You are just jealous because Mary dumped your ass hard after she found out you were talking to Karen.” Kyle offered a donut to Josh and laughed as Josh flipped him off and took the donut to leave. 

“Don’t mind him.” Kyle kicked at Dan’s leg to get his attention, he appeared lost in his thoughts and Kyle wanted to pull him back before he made a bigger deal than needed about Josh commenting on what they did. 

“What?” Dan turned his head back and smiled. “Sorry, there is a melody going through my head right now. Want to go to the studio today? I can see if Mark is free?” 

“Sure.” Kyle grinned back. “I would love to.” 

“Awesome.” Dan stood and kissed Kyle’s forehead before leaving to likely find his phone. 

Kyle ate the last bite of his donut and watched Dan walk back into where the bedrooms were. It was going to be a great day.


	7. Bándearg

They spent a few hours in the studio with Mark. He was a nice guy and appeared to work well with Dan. Whenever Dan would back away from an idea that he did not think was working, Mark would challenge him to follow through with it. And the result was typically better than Dan thought it would be. 

Kyle had a stupid thought for a minute that Dan was into Mark, but as the hours went on, Kyle saw that Dan was just into Mark’s ideas for the music. 

Kyle had never been the jealous type, but he had also never been the type to fall in love with someone either. He didn’t quite know how to manage the fear that Dan might end it all. 

It was too good. 

Dan was comfortable around Mark, but his cheeks only turned that wonderful shade of pink when Dan would look Kyle’s way and quietly seek his approval. 

Yet no matter how many times Kyle would say it was brilliant, Dan would keep asking. 

Kyle hated that Dan didn’t have the self-confidence to know it was good, but he also loved that Dan appeared to respect his opinion. 

Afterwards, they found a place to eat that was cheap enough to match their budgets. And then they walked around the town that both of them loved. 

Kyle shared a few stories from his youth and waited for Dan to chime in with his own, but true to form, Dan did not offer any information that was not directly asked of him. 

But it was nice to just spend time with him. 

He found he wanted to spend all his time with him. 

Like sleeping in with him the next morning, this time at Dan’s flat with no wonderful donuts or blow jobs, and not go to work. 

He was likely going to get fired but he didn’t care. It was more important that Dan had wrapped his arm around Kyle’s stomach sometime in the night and that he was breathing soft breaths onto his bare chest than remove himself from that warmth to go do a job that made his brain hurt from boredom. 

They stayed up late the night before. Dan showed him a horror film that he loved for some reason and Kyle found it hard to sleep afterward. His films were a lot more tame than Dan’s choice in entertainment. But it was okay because he had Dan’s neck to hide in when the psychopath started killing people again. 

Halfway through the film, Kyle stayed cuddled against Dan, with his hand making lazy patterns on Dan’s thigh, and it was the best way to spend his time. Even if they didn’t do anything afterward. 

Which Kyle was a bit grateful because if murder and gore turned Dan on, he would be concerned. 

Now it was sometime late in the morning and Dan had his hand tucked underneath Kyle’s ribs and he was breathing heavier like he was dreaming about something he didn’t like. 

And Kyle didn’t like that. He didn’t want Dan upset. He never wanted him to be upset. 

Kyle kissed Dan’s furrowed forehead and found he had a slight mist of sweat on his skin. His grip on Kyle’s ribs started to hurt and Dan’s breathing increased. 

Hugging him tighter, Kyle said Dan’s name and kept giving him light kisses near his hair in attempt to wake him up. Dan was not waking at his gentle approach and he was becoming more agitated, so Kyle said his name louder and shook at his shoulders. 

After the third shake, Kyle had Dan looking up at him with wild eyes and he saw the fear there. 

“Morning.” Kyle smiled to help ease Dan into waking up and realizing that whatever demon was chasing him through his dreams was not here now. “You okay?” 

Dan’s eyes blinked and he slowly moved himself away from Kyle and took the wonderful warmth away. Kyle shivered a bit as he watched Dan run his hands through his hair and start to calm his breathing. 

Dan’s neck and chest were pink with what looked like hives. With the rough spot in the middle of his chest, the one he apparently gave himself by pulling at his shirt too much and matched the rough skin underneath his left arm, was a darker shade of red. As if Dan had been scratching at it in the night. 

“Dan?” Kyle tried again and moved his hand slowly down Dan’s chest to ease his worry. “Pinky, it’s okay. It was just a dream.” 

Dan shook his head as if he was disagreeing with him. “I get those at times. They feel very real and they...they feel very real. I’m sorry.” 

“You don’t need to apologize for having a nightmare.” Kyle moved Dan in closer to him, so his head was back on Kyle’s chest and his wild hair brushing along Kyle’s chin. Kyle wondered what was in those dreams. “Maybe it has to do with your choice of films? Seriously, that one last night messed me up and I couldn’t fall asleep for a bit.” 

Dan didn’t react for a few minutes, but when he did, he sounded more himself. “That film is a classic and you should be ashamed that you did not sneak away to watch it when you were a teenager like the rest of us lot.” 

“Sorry, but when I have romantic comedies and every Disney film ever made to watch, horror films are not on my list of priorities.” Kyle moved his hand through Dan’s hair and heard him laugh against his chest. That was more like it. “Seriously, tonight it is Simba before bed or nothing at all.” 

“We have that party. At Ralph’s, remember?” Dan moved his head up to find Kyle’s eyes and Kyle saw he seemed over his dream and now onto worrying about the party. “What will we say?”

“About?” Kyle smiled down at him as Dan’s brow furrowed again. Fuck if he wasn’t cute even looking like that. “You need to stop making that face, or I will be tempted to take you right here. By my calculations, it has been far too long.” 

“It has been less than 24 hours.” Dan grinned back and blushed. 

“Actually, it has been more than that.” Kyle leaned forward and kissed Dan’s nose and then his brow to make it relax. “We had a bit of a lie in.” 

“You had to work!” Dan raised his head and appeared to be looking for a device to tell him the time. “What time is it? You are going to be late.” 

“I’m not going. I'm probably five hours late as it is.” Kyle waited for Dan to look back his way. “I would much rather stay here...with you. And good thing, because I had to save you from the sociopath that was chasing you in your dreams.” 

“Can we not talk about it? Like, ever again?” Dan sat up and pulled Kyle with him. “Come on. If you are going to get fired over me, then we might as well make the most out of it.” 

Making the most out of it apparently meant trying to eat each other’s face in the shower and then continuing their behavior into the kitchen. 

Joey groaned when he walked in on them kissing against the counter while they waited for their toast to pop. 

“Fuck, I need that in my life.” Joey leaned his weight against the opposite counter, staring at them. “Can I just watch and pretend it is me?”

“No, you perv. He is mine. Get your own.” Dan removed his hands from underneath the back of Kyle’s shirt, or rather Dan’s shirt on Kyle because Dan gave him clothes to wear. Dan plated the toast and handed Kyle the knife for the butter. “A man should always butter his own toast.” 

“Trust me. I’ve been buttering my own toast for far too long.” Joey gave out a dramatic sigh and continued to watch as Kyle buttered his toast. “Tell me what it is like. Anything to get me through this spell.” 

“I’m sure there will be some ladies at Ralph’s party tonight.” Kyle handed Dan back the knife and smiled as their fingers brushed one another. That fluttering in his stomach was increasing again and he wondered what Dan would think about abandoning the party later tonight and just spending it exploring one another. 

“Like Sarah.” Dan said underneath his breath but Kyle still heard as he bit into his toast. 

Kyle ignored the comment and wrapped his arm around Dan’s lower back and kept it there. Sarah was not on his radar and he wished Joey and her all the happiness in the world if they chose to make a go of it. 

“Maybe we stay in?” Kyle asked in what he hoped appeared to be casual and did not convey how much he was looking forward to spending more time alone with Dan. Alone time with Dan was becoming his favourite time. “You know, skip the party and just watch a film here...or at mine...or not really watch anything at all.” 

“Ralph wants to go through a new song he is writing. For us.” Dan wiped at his mouth and then took another bite. He chewed as he spoke. “It needs some work and he wants to know my take on it.” 

“That one you sang with him last time?” Joey spoke again, reminding Kyle that he was still in the room. “I didn’t like that one. It was too slow.” 

“Fuck off, and no. A new one.” Dan took his last bite and wiped the crumbs off his mouth and then off his shirt, pulling at it near his chest. “Says we should film it and put it online for his channel. And I need to get that other song together for my channel as well.” 

“You and Ralph work so well together.” Joey pushed himself off the counter. “Remind me again why you are not pursuing a thing with him?”

Yeah, Kyle thought in his head. If Dan was so caught up in Ralph, why were they doing separate things? And then Kyle told himself to rein it in because Ralph was a mate. Then he reminded himself that he liked Ralph. 

“No.” Dan shook his head, as if it was absurd. “Not going to happen.”

And because Kyle wanted to torture himself, he asked, “And why is that?” 

Dan looked toward him and then away again. “It just isn’t going to happen.” 

Dan focused his attention on washing up the dishes and Kyle stopped himself from asking more questions. Joey distracted Kyle by asking him questions about a mate they had in common and the topic was dropped.

Ralph liked to have parties at his place. He liked the company and he was just one of those creative people that fed off other people’s energy. 

It made sense that Ralph adopted Dan during uni and brought him into his circle of creative people. Introverts need to be adopted into a group to make friends, otherwise they might never meet new people on their own. 

Ralph was a great guy and everyone loved him. He was nice and talented and loved others. He was a great mate and Kyle had always liked him. 

But now, sat across the room from him and watching Ralph talk to Dan, Kyle was irked by him. 

Dan looked carefree and relaxed, his arm around Ralph as they laughed about something and then started bouncing to the beat of the music. 

That was not the same awkward Dan that he knew. The one that could barely look at him without blushing and shying his eyes away. 

Dan was getting better with him, and even though they had each other’s dicks in their mouths, Dan still did not seem as comfortable around Kyle as he did Ralph. 

Kyle tried to tell himself that Dan was just more comfortable around Ralph because he knew him longer, but it still hurt to see Dan being so open with him. 

If this was love, maybe he didn’t want to feel it anymore. 

Swallowing the last of his drink, Kyle stood and went to find something else to drink. 

He hated feeling this way. He was turning into a jealous person and it felt wrong. 

Still, he wanted to go over there and wrap his arm around Dan and make it known to Ralph that Dan was his. They might have known each other for longer, but Kyle knew what Dan tasted like and he wasn’t going to share. 

Fuck, he was losing it. 

He found the drink table and poured himself a larger amount than he probably needed, but didn’t care. 

Taking a long drink, Kyle scanned the room to see if he could find something to distract him away from Dan.

And he found it quickly approaching him with a fit lad on her arm. 

Sarah smiled at him and introduced him to the fit lad, Brad. Sarah told him that Brad worked somewhere doing something with someone on the telly, but Kyle was too drunk to remember actually what. 

And his eyes kept glancing over to Dan and Ralph dancing near the speakers. 

Even though Sarah was hanging off Brad, Kyle quickly picked up that she was flirting with Kyle. And maybe Brad was flirting with him as well.

Somewhere in their conversation, Sarah had moved Brad’s hand onto Kyle’s back. And all of them back to stand in a corner, with Kyle back against the wall and both Brad’s hand on him and Sarah’s hand on his arm. 

What was this?

Sarah stood up on her toes and whispered into Kyle’s ear, “Since you are into dick now, I figured we could all get together. Brad likes both.” 

Well, jolly for Brad. 

And now Brad’s hand was working his way across Kyle’s bum and his face was getting closer to him. Kyle knew he needed to remove himself from the disaster that was about to occur. 

Feeling someone’s lips on his neck, Kyle’s drunk brain finally was able to react and move away, but not before he felt someone’s eyes on him from across the room. 

Dan had stopped dancing and was stood looking directly at him. 

Dan’s face was pale and he looked wrecked. Absolutely wrecked. 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 

And then Dan was gone and Kyle felt Ralph’s eyes burning into him.

Pushing the rest of the way out of the corner, Kyle heard Sarah shouting at him but it didn’t matter. Dan had left the lounge area where everyone was and he needed to find him. 

Kyle had to walk past Ralph to get to the other side of the room. Kyle’s eyes pleaded with him to understand what had happened, but Ralph looked upset with him. 

Kyle found him in Ralph’s bedroom sat on his bed with his head in his hands. 

Kyle ignored the fact that they had to do this in Ralph’s room and moved to sit on his knees in front of Dan. 

“That wasn’t what it looked like.” Kyle finally managed to find words. He no longer felt drunk, the shock of Dan looking at him in pain had sobered him up quickly. “Sarah thought I would be into a threesome I guess, but I’m not.” 

“You looked into it with that man’s lips on your throat.” Dan kept his head down and pushed away Kyle’s hands that he tried to put on his knees. “Just go. Go be with them and just forget about me. Honestly, you will be better off.” 

“No I won’t.” Kyle rested his hands on his thighs and stayed on the floor in front of Dan. Feeling his eyes water, Kyle knew he must still be drunk because he normally did not tear up over things. “I think about you all the time. I likely got fired today because I wanted to just be with you.” 

“You shouldn’t have done that.” Dan shook his head and peeked at Kyle, looking up to Kyle sat below him. “I’m not worth losing your job over.” 

Kyle was agitated and confused. But he wasn’t agitated at Dan, he was upset with Sarah and her apparent need to ruin his life. And confused at why this was happening to him. “I love you and want to be with you, why is that so hard?” 

“You will learn that...I’m not…” Dan stopped talking and stood to leave the room. “This is best this happens now.” 

“What the fuck are you on about?” Kyle stood too quickly and felt himself sway at the sudden change of gravity and blood pressure. “Best what happens now?” 

“Us not being together anymore.” Dan said to the ground before moving toward the door. “It’s for the best.” 

“For who? For who is it for the best?” Kyle stopped Dan from opening the door and pushed him back against it. Dan’s eyes were wide and he looked afraid. He didn’t want to make him afraid. Fuck, he was messing everything up. “I’m sorry. Please don’t leave. Talk to me. Shout at me. But, please, don’t leave.” 

“Step back.” Dan’s voice shook as he tensed his body. He was afraid of him. 

Kyle listened and took a full step backward. Not knowing what to do with his hands, he wrapped them across his stomach and made himself look as small as he felt. “I’m sorry.” 

“Never do that again.” Dan copied Kyle and wrapped his own arms against himself, his body trembling slightly. “Promise me you will never push me like that again. I will listen to what you have to say, but you can’t...you can’t push me like that.” 

“I won’t. I promise.” Kyle wanted to be closer to him but he was giving him space. Where did this all go wrong? 

“I’m listening.” Dan moved his eyes down to Kyle’s hands and watched them as he relaxed against the door, his body losing some of its tension. 

“I drank too much and I was watching you with Ralph-” 

“What?” Dan’s eyes went up at Ralph’s name. “What does he have to do with another man kissing your neck?” 

“He doesn’t, not really.” Kyle moved his hands to run them through his hair and felt his heart sink as Dan tensed up at his sudden movement. Lowering them back to rest against his stomach, Kyle tried to explain the best he could. “I know he is a mate and that you have known him for ages. He is wonderful and amazing for you. But, you are a different person 'round him and I got jealous. Stupid, I know. But my brain decided I needed to drink more and then Sarah and that idiot swept in. She keeps trying to ruin this with you and I don’t know why. She made some stupid comment about finding her after I get over my dick phase weeks ago and I think she might have thought, if she brought me dick, I would go for it with her. With them. I dunno.” 

“You are jealous of Ralph?” Dan shifted his weight to his other foot. “Because I act different with him?” 

“Yes. Stupid, like I said. You just seem so comfortable with him and I want that for us.” 

“It literally took me weeks to form sentences around Ralph and look at him at the same time.” Dan moved in closer. “It was hard to get comfortable with Ralph for many reasons that I will not bore you with. It was easier with you. I mean, we have done things I never thought I would be comfortable enough to do.” 

“I know. I know.” Kyle wiped at his eyes and found that Dan didn’t react at his movement. “I am not a jealous person. I really am not. At least I have never been. But, the thought that you would be with someone else…I can’t handle it.” 

“I’m not...with anyone else. I’m with you.” Dan cupped his hands around Kyle’s jaw. “Now imagine what I felt when I looked across the room and saw two people with their hands all over you.” 

“I didn’t want their hands on me.” Kyle plead with his eyes and moved his hands to Dan’s waist. “Please believe me, I didn’t want any of that.” 

Instead of answering, Dan kissed him, moving his hands to the back of Kyle’s head. Dan was pulling him further into the kiss and Kyle stepped himself into Dan until Dan had his back against the door again. 

He tried to ask if Dan was okay but Dan wouldn’t let him end the kiss. 

Kyle’s hand moved down to the front of Dan’s jeans and palmed him through them. 

They were at a party in a mate’s room and all Kyle could think about was how Dan felt against his tongue. And how he sounded with the heat of Kyle’s mouth around him. 

Ralph and the argument they just had was no longer on his mind. 

All he could think about was getting Dan out of his clothes and putting his hands and mouth all over him.

He was hard before Dan even touched him and he couldn’t stop himself from pressing against Dan’s hand. 

He wanted him. He wanted all of him. 

Ralph couldn’t have Dan. And Sarah, and Brad, couldn’t have Kyle. 

A caveman part of Kyle’s brain must have taken over because he wanted to claim Dan and parade him through the party so everyone would know they were together. 

“We can’t.” 

Kyle heard from a distance as he pressed his hips in further to Dan’s hand. He wanted in Dan’s pants. He wanted to kiss down his back and press into him. 

“Kyle.” Dan removed his hand from Kyle’s jeans and got Kyle’s attention this time. “Not here, okay. Let’s go to yours.” 

“Yes.” Kyle sucked on the spot he was working on near Dan’s ear and then forced himself to move back. Dan was grinning at him and his chest was moving up and down quickly with his breaths. His neck and cheeks were pink and Kyle had to stop himself from diving right back in. 

“I want to be inside you.” Dan blurted out and looked up to Kyle to see his reaction. 

“Okay.” Kyle answered as soon as Dan’s eyes met his own. He wanted that as well. “We can go to mine. I have stuff to help with that.” 

“Okay.” Dan answered simply. 

“Just, need to think of dead kittens or something to make myself decent enough to walk pass our mates and then we can go do that.” Kyle turned himself away from the glorious sight of Dan flush in front of him and closed his eyes as he took a few deep breaths. 

Dan left him to it and was likely doing the same behind him. 

After what felt like forever, Kyle felt Dan’s hand on his arm turning him back to face him. 

There was a bit of fear on Dan’s face but it wasn’t like before when Dan saw him being groped by Sarah and Brad and it wasn’t like when Kyle was too rough and pushed him after the door the first time. 

It was an anxious fear that meant Dan was nervous but wanted him. 

“Ready?” Dan asked and Kyle could only nod before finding Dan’s hand. 

“So much.” Kyle answered to the back of Dan’s head as he was pulled through the door and out among the lot of their drunk friends. 

There were likely eyes on them but Kyle couldn’t see anything but Dan in front of him.


	8. Pinc

Dan’s hands were on him as soon as the door to the flat was shut. He was eager and Kyle matched his intensity but he knew they both needed a minute. 

“Hey, hey.” Kyle literally forced himself to step away from Dan and remove his lips from Dan’s. Keeping his hands on Dan’s waist, Kyle smiled when Dan ignored him and stepped back into his space. “No. No.” 

Dan removed his hands from underneath Kyle’s shirt and ran his hands through his hair. His hair was wilder than usual and both damn cheeks were flushed pink. His breathing matched Kyle’s and it was maddening to stop them, but Kyle needed a minute and they needed to talk. 

“Don’t panic, but we need to talk.” Kyle watched as Dan turned his back and walked to the edge of the sofa, resting his weight on the back of it as he looked up at Kyle, waiting. His arms were wrapped around the jean jacket he was wearing and he looked nervous. 

Kyle wanted to make sure they were not rushing into this and that Dan was not only doing this because of what he saw Sarah and Brad doing at the party. 

“Don’t look all nervous and cute like that or I won’t be able to get through this.” Kyle took a few steps closer but kept a short distance. His brain worked better when Dan wasn’t quite so near him. He was already hard and it was distracting enough. “Damn, you have no idea what you do to me.” 

“I’m sorry.” Dan lowered his head and unwrapped his arms to pull a bit at his shirt and shift in his position on the back of the sofa. Kyle would tell he was hard as well. “We don’t have to...I mean, it’s too fast-”

“No.” Kyle shook his head and smiled down to reassure him that he wasn’t changing his mind. “We are totally going to do that, if you really want to. I mean, it is not just because of Sarah and that guy, right?” 

“I don’t want to talk about Sarah. And I definitely don’t want to talk about that guy.” Dan bit underneath his lip and pulled at his shirt as he looked sideways toward the wall. “I had been thinking about it for ages and I finally feel like I could. With you. But if you don’t, it’s fine.” 

“But you said at Ralph’s gig that you were like ten steps away from wanting to fuck me and now with Sa...with that happened tonight, I just want to make sure that you really want this.” 

“That was before...before you said you loved me. And before you learned, like overnight, all the songs I gave you to learn. And before you said you can’t stop thinking about me.” Dan looked back to him and pulled at a button of his jacket near the bottom. “And before I texted my mum that I’m in love with someone and she texted me back with ten sideways smiley faces. And before I could say anything else, she asked if it was that dashing dark haired lad I have been practicing with. And when I said yes, she texted me all those smiley faces again and told me that she was so happy for me.” 

“You told your mum?” Kyle beamed and pulled Dan off the sofa to wrap his arms around his back and hold him to his chest. “And I received mum approval?”

“It is not like it is hard, I could have brought anyone home and she would not have to keep worrying that I’m going to hold up alone for the rest of my life.” Dan laughed into his shirt and covered his face with his hands. “She likes you though.” 

“She is one of my favourite people right now as well.” Kyle uncovered Dan’s face by peeling Dan’s hands off his face and lacing their fingers together. “Okay, change in subject. I know this is not sexy, but we never really had the sex talk.” 

“Too late, my dad had a very awkward conversation with me about it when I was twelve.” Dan teased him and it broke the last of the tension Kyle felt radiating off of them. “Granted, we never really had the bum sex talk but the internet exists for more than just music.” 

“Have you ever done anything, anal sex wise I mean?” Kyle kissed Dan’s forehead to ease the topic. Kyle knew Dan had limited experience with this, but he didn’t want to assume that he had never done anything before him. 

Dan pressed his face back into Kyle’s shirt since Kyle’s hands were still holding his at their sides and mumbled something against his chest. 

“I didn’t get any of that.” Kyle kissed the back of Dan’s head and listened hard for Dan to repeat himself. When he did, he was fairly sure that he heard Dan say ‘on my own.’

And that gave Kyle all sorts of mental images he needed to push aside for the moment. 

“Never with anyone else?” Kyle asked into Dan’s hair, Dan’s face still pressed against his chest. “Not even fingers?” 

Dan shook his head and didn’t say anything else. There was a warm, wet patch spreading against his shirt where Dan’s mouth was breathing against. Kyle figured this was embarrassing for him, but he wanted to make sure Dan would be comfortable with what they were about to do. 

“I don’t have loads of experience, but I have been with a few men over the years. I like both, topping and bottoming.” Kyle continued to speak into Dan’s hair, hoping to, again, ease some of his discomfort at this conversation. 

They stayed stood like that for a few more minutes until Dan moved his head back so Kyle could see him and, as he suspected, his face was a bright shade of pink.

“Can we not talk about this anymore?” Dan spoke to Kyle’s chest, likely staring at the wet spot he made on Kyle’s shirt. Or Dan’s shirt that Kyle was borrowing since he was still wearing the clothes Dan gave him after their shower that morning. 

The shower where both of them kissed until the water ran cold and then continued their kissing into the kitchen, and then some more before they left Dan’s flat for the party. 

“Okay. Just give me a few minutes in the bath and then we are good.” Kyle kissed Dan’s forehead and pulled them back to the bedrooms and bathroom. 

Dan went into Kyle’s room without making eye contact with Kyle and Kyle rushed to the bathroom for a quick cleanup. 

Dan was sat on his bed with his hands running up and down his thighs when he entered and shut the door behind him. 

“You okay?” Kyle asked as he went to his bedside table and took out the lube and condoms. He was still wearing his pants, but he didn’t put his jeans back on after being in the bathroom. 

Kyle tossed the supplies to higher up on the bed and sat down next to Dan and reached for his hand. “Pinky, you good?” 

“Freaking out a bit.” Dan laughed to himself and looked toward Kyle’s bare thighs. “I want to, so much, but just nervous you know? Like, what if you don’t like it or I do something to hurt you?” 

“I’m nervous as well, but only because it is with you and I want it to be amazing.” Kyle heard Dan groan at his words and he mentally hit himself for using them. “I mean, it is going to be amazing because it is with you. But, firsts are still firsts.” 

“How will we?” Dan swallowed and peaked up to his eyes. “I mean, I know how, but how will we...with you? I want to see you...I kinda need to see you when...yeah, when...and I don’t want to be on top.” 

“Okay.” Kyle brushed his hand through Dan’s hair and turned his face up toward him. “Don’t overthink it, okay? It is just me and it is just us.” 

“You don’t really know what you are asking by saying don’t overthink it.” 

Kyle allowed Dan to finish his sentence and then stopped their talking with a kiss. 

Dan made that happy noise in his mouth as their lips moved against one another and Kyle couldn’t wait any longer. He wanted them naked and in bed. 

Dan took the hint when Kyle started pulling at his jacket and helped Kyle undress him. Their mouths moving away from each other only as necessary. 

Once all they had left on was Kyle’s left sock, he pulled Dan up against him and told him to sit back on the bed, so his back was against the wall. 

Dan moved around to the front of the bed and moved himself back following Kyle’s instructions. His eyes were glued on Kyle as he moved to sit in his lap, his bum against his thighs. 

Kyle was getting hard again and he saw Dan was already there. Reaching for the lube, Kyle saw Dan’s attention move to it in his hand. 

“Can I?” Dan asked shyly. “I mean, get you ready for, um…” 

Kyle kissed him quickly and then poured some onto Dan’s fingers. Raising himself up and spreading his legs more, Kyle hoped the angle would work. 

Dan’s arms were long and he felt Dan’s fingers teasing him with the gentlest of touches. It had been a few months since anyone had touched him there and he let out a soft moan at the sensation. Dan was being too gentle but he didn’t want to say anything yet. 

“Feels good.” Kyle grinned at Dan’s expression on his face. He looked like a cross between genuine curiosity and utter want. 

“I think I need some more.” Dan moved his hand back to his front and waited for Kyle to put more on his fingers. “Is it okay, if I…” 

Kyle kissed him and nodded. He kept kissing him to distract Dan away from what he was doing and was rewarded when he felt two of Dan’s fingers start to move their way inside him. 

“Fuck.” Dan moaned into their kiss and Kyle felt Dan’s dick stir against his thigh. 

“I can take a bit more.” Kyle opened his legs wider and pressed back against Dan’s fingers, feeling them slide in more. Kyle let out his low moan as Dan’s fingers moved back out and then in again. He was still being gentle but he wasn’t going as slow anymore and it felt amazing. 

“Is it enough?” Dan asked kissing along Kyle’s jaw to his chin and then back again. 

“Put another one in.” Kyle pressed his hips back more as Dan listened and soon he had three of his fingers moving in and out. Kyle felt his heart increase and he knew he was ready. If not, he was going to come like this and that was not how he wanted to come. 

Kyle pressed back onto Dan’s fingers one more time and then lowered his head to kiss Dan. Licking into his mouth one last time, we reached for the condom and unwrapped it. 

“Can I?” Kyle smiled at Dan’s stunned expression. They were not going to last long but Kyle didn’t care. This was a major step in their relationship and he was so glad it was happening. 

Stroking Dan’s length a few times because he wanted to, Kyle watched as Dan’s eyes shut and he pressed his head against the wall. Rolling the condom down until it reached his base, Kyle poured more lube on him and stroked a few more times. 

Dan was still moving his hips up against his hand when Kyle removed his hand and moved his body closer. Using his long arms, he reached behind himself and took Dan to line them up. 

He moved his hips down slowly, allowing his body to adjust to having Dan inside him and for Dan to adjust to being inside him. Halfway down, he felt Dan’s hands at his bum squeezing his cheeks and he let out a sound low in his throat until Dan was fully inside him. 

Kyle rested there, using his hands to smooth down Dan’s hair and then press against the back of his neck to move Dan’s mouth back to his own. 

Soon his hips were moving and Dan was matching him. From this angle it was harder to hit his prostate but it still felt amazing. 

Dan’s hands moved to wrap around his back and press them closer together, with Kyle feeling Dan lift his hips up one more time until he was shuttering underneath him. 

Kyle stopped moving up and down and switched to back and forth to get Dan’s dick to rub in just the right spot as he wanked himself off between them. 

It was better than Kyle thought it would be as first times generally were awkward. Both trying to find the right way to move against one another. 

Raising his hips, Kyle moved their bodies into two separate ones again and he keened as he could still feel where Dan had been inside of him. 

Kissing along his face, Kyle took the condom off Dan and tied it off quickly before tossing it to the floor. He would deal with that later, but he wanted to check in with Dan. 

Dan who still had his head back against the wall and his eyes closed. His chest was rising and falling almost as fast as it had when they were moving together. 

Before he could ask if he was okay, Dan moved out his hands to pull Kyle back to him. 

“Move down more.” Kyle whispered into Dan’s ear as he allowed Dan to move him back to where he was before. Soon they settled with Dan and Kyle lying on their sides, with Dan’s ankle wrapped around Kyle’s calf. 

Dan still had his eyes closed and he hummed as Kyle kissed his pink cheek. 

Kyle wanted to tell him that it was amazing and that he loved him, but words felt wrong. 

Dan’s hand was moving up and down his back and Kyle sighed into the touch. He didn’t need to say it, Dan’s content face and gentle touches said it all. He knew. He felt it the same as Kyle did. 

Closing his eyes, Kyle allowed the moment to be and smiled as Dan’s hand rested against his lower back and pulled him in closer. 

It was better than any film or song made it out to be.


	9. Růžový

There was a loud sound of something crashing in his room that woke Kyle up. 

And an empty spot in his bed where Dan had been. 

It was early enough that no light was yet coming through the windows. 

“Are you trying to leave me all alone after fucking me?” Kyle rubbed some of the sleep out of his eyes and waited for them to adjust to the darkness. He was teasing Dan yet Dan did not appear to pick up on the tone in his voice. 

“No. I had to wee and I didn’t want to walk ‘round bared arsed through the flat. But, I couldn’t find my pants and so I borrowed yours.” Dan appeared to be picking up clothes off the floor. “I really had to go and I must have left the drawer open. It’s darker in here than the toilet so my eyes didn’t adjust and I ran into the stupid drawer. And now your undergarments are all scattered about and my thigh is killing me.” 

“Aw, come back to bed and I’ll kiss it better.” Kyle reached out his hand to Dan’s direction and waited for him to take it. Yet, Dan’s eyes must had not adjusted to the darkness and he ended up hitting it as he sat back on the bed. “Easy there.” 

“I don’t have my contacts in.” Dan found Kyle’s hand and kissed it before lying down in the spot he abandoned when he went to the loo. He was lying on his back and hugging Kyle’s arm to his chest. “Sorry, I’m a mess. I normally just wear glasses at night.” 

“How did I not know you wear glasses?” Kyle moved down on the bed and kissed both of Dan’s thighs, his left and then his right. He didn’t know which one he hurt running into the drawer, so I figured he would kiss both for good measure. Dan had borrowed a pair of boxer briefs that hugged his thighs nicely and Kyle found it incredibly sexy that Dan was wearing his boxers. And that Dan also wore glasses. “Fuck, you look so good wearing my pants. And now I have a mental image of you looking down at me through glasses while I pull them down and suck you.”

Dan squeezed Kyle’s arm at his words and Kyle felt him respond as Kyle continued his kissing up Dan’s thigh to the slight bulge in his pants. Kyle’s arm was stretched up and his hand moved across Dan’s chest to brush against a nipple. Having long arms was very handy in situations like these. Dan made a sound as Kyle put pressure on both Dan’s nipple and the hardness inside his pants. Kyle’s pants on Dan, Kyle thought as he mouthed through the fabric. Fuck that was hot. 

“I’ll wear them next time.” Dan opened up his legs and pressed his hips up as Kyle mouthed around the head of his erection. 

“You better.” Kyle took his arm away from Dan’s tight grip and moved down his hands to the band around Dan’s waist. As much as Kyle was turned on by Dan wearing his clothes, he needed to get him out of them. 

Dan raised his hips and Kyle pulled the pants down just enough so he was unobstructed in his task. The tight boxer briefs still hugging Dan’s thighs. Kyle wasn’t sure who made the needier noise when he took Dan fully in his mouth. Mornings should always be like this, he thought as he sucked on the tip and tasted a bit of precum on his tongue. 

Dan’s hands found their way to the back of Kyle’s head and he pressed down a bit too hard as Kyle opened his throat more and took Dan completely. Kyle gagged for a second as he was held down and Dan quickly removed his hands and started apologizing. 

“Fuck, I’m sorry. Are you okay?” Dan was brushing back the hair from Kyle’s face and Kyle saw fear on his face. It was still dark in the room, but he could see that Dan’s forehead was furrowed. “I didn’t mean-” 

“I’m fine. That was good. Honest, just don't hold me down so hard.” Kyle said quickly to ease his worry and then took him back in his mouth. Kyle was hard against the bed and moved his hips down to help relieve some of the pressure. 

“I won’t.” Dan removed his hands and Kyle missed them but it was okay because Dan was still inside his mouth. 

Kyle pressed against the bed again and whined as it wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted to feel what it would be like to press inside him. To make him feel as wonderful and spent as Dan had to him last night. 

Sucking on the head a bit longer than intended, Kyle pulled himself away and moved up further on the bed. His erection met the wet stickiness of Dan’s and he pressed against him longer than intended as well. Moving his hips back, he saw the panicked look on Dan’s face again. 

“Did I hurt you?” Dan asked trying to move away from him. “Is that why you stopped? I did, didn’t I?” 

“No, no. You are fucking amazing. Everything we do is fucking amazing.” Kyle stopped Dan from moving away by holding onto the tops of his arms. “You are so fucking amazing for me.” 

Kyle leaned his head down and kissed him to try and prove how amazing he was for him. And how Kyle felt like his whole body must just explode just by being near him like this. 

The kissing appeared to ease Dan’s concern and soon Kyle felt Dan’s hands moving down his back to grab at his bum. Dan’s large hands were spread out and pulling Kyle closer to him.

Dan’s hands reminded Kyle of what he was going to ask him and he forced himself to move away and take a breath. 

“Fuck.” Kyle panted against Dan’s throat and stilled his hips to think clearly again. His head was foggy in the best way but he was struggling to find words that were more than four letters. 

Dan was breathing heavily and kept trying to move against Kyle despite Kyle trying to stop their movements. 

“Can we talk for a minute?” Kyle finally was able to find his words and then regretted speaking entirely because he felt Dan tense underneath him. 

“I did hurt you, didn’t I?” Dan stayed frozen underneath him and turned his head away when Kyle tried to find his eyes. “We should stop.” 

“No. I promise, you didn’t hurt me.” Kyle kissed along Dan’s jaw, his lips obviously finding it difficult to not have some contact with Dan’s skin. He continued the gentle kisses in between his words. “I was curious about your thoughts on me topping you. We don’t have to, this is fucking wicked, but I just thought what it would feel like to be inside you and I couldn’t not ask.” 

Dan turned his head toward Kyle and Kyle moved his head back to see Dan’s reaction to his question. Dan seemed to be debating with himself and Kyle wanted to kiss away that damn furrow in his brow. 

After what felt like forever, Kyle decided he had asked something that Dan was not comfortable with yet and he took it back. “I’m sorry. We don’t have to. Like I said, this is amazing.” 

Kyle tried to move his hips toward to continue what they were doing earlier, but Dan was pushing against his chest and moving out from underneath him. 

“I should go. I have to work soon.” Dan sat on the edge of the bed and pulled the boxer briefs back up before running his hands through his hair. He was facing away from Kyle and Kyle reached out to touch his back. Dan stood at the contact and began moving around the room, likely trying to find his clothes. 

Kyle turned on the lamp near his bed and sat up, his erection hurt from lack of contact but it was the least of his concern now. 

The light seemed to have startled Dan but it allowed Kyle to get a better look at him. His cheeks were that glorious pink colour but he appeared to be trembling as he put on his jeans and shirt. 

“I’m sorry.” Kyle wrapped the blanket around his shoulders as he stood and moved closer to Dan. Once he was in front of him, he watched as Dan fought with his socks and shoes. When Dan had them both on, he raised his body up and quickly turned away from Kyle. “Dan?” 

“Yeah?” Dan answered with his back toward Kyle. He was putting on his jacket and then hugged his arms to his stomach, yet he didn’t turn to face him. 

“Can you look at me, please?” Kyle wrapped the blanket tighter around his body, to hide any evidence of what they were doing before Dan shut down on him. 

It took more than a minute for Dan to turn, with his eyes on the floor when he settled. Dan’s eyes raised to Kyle’s chest area and Kyle figured that was the best he was going to get out of him. 

“I’m fine not ever doing that. I was just curious about your thoughts on it. Clearly, I was going too fast. I’m sorry.” Kyle fought with himself to stay stood and not move closer to Dan. Dan’s brow was furrowed and the pink was gone from his cheeks. With a pale sheen replacing Kyle's favourite colour. 

“I…” Dan started and then paused. Kyle saw him biting underneath his lip and his eyes had yet to raise any higher. Kyle hated how uncomfortable he looked. “I need to go. I’ll text you later, okay? We have practice tonight. At my parents’. My mum, she wants to meet you. Properly meet you, if that is okay? If not, I’ll understand. I mean...with that.” 

Dan unwrapped one of his arms and gestured toward the bed. He looked ill. 

“Dan?” Kyle took a step closer and waited for some sort of response. 

Dan simply raised his head so he appeared to be looking at Kyle mouth. 

“I love you.” Kyle smiled and continued. “What just happened, that didn’t change anything, okay? I’m still in love with you and I still am coming to practice tonight. And I would love to meet your mum.” 

“Okay.” Dan nodded and gave the slightest of grins. His eyes rose quickly to find Kyle’s and then he stepped in to kiss him on the mouth before turning away and leaving. 

Kyle sat down on the bed after Dan shut the bedroom door behind him. 

He was still somewhat hard but most of the pressure was gone after the emotional conversation with Dan. He was ready to lay back down when he heard a knock on the main door. 

It was too early in the morning to be anyone but Dan so Kyle kept the blanket wrapped around him and make his way to the door. 

“Thank God you came back.” Kyle answered the door with a huge smile that dropped when he saw who as on the other side. 

“Hiya, Kylie.” Sarah smiled up at him. She was wearing the clothes she wore last night at the party and her hair was in a messy ponytail. “Brad and I missed you last night. I figured I would come ‘round and invite you to his tonight to make up for it. His dick is magic.” 

Kyle didn’t know what to say to her. She came here after spending the night with Brad to invite him to another attempt at a threesome that he clearly was not interested in the first time she offered. And after she saw him leave with Dan. 

Fuck, Dan. 

“Didn’t you see Dan just leaving here?” Kyle’s voice rose to a higher tone than he usually used. Fuck, they must have crossed paths. There was only one lift in the flat share and Dan had literally just left. “What the fuck, Sarah?” 

“Yeah, I saw him.” Sarah smiled and leaned in closer to Kyle in the door frame. She smelled like spirits and cigarettes. “He saw me as he was getting into the lift. He is so awkward, couldn’t even look at me.” 

Kyle gently moved her away from him and tried to take a deep breath before shouting at her, given the hour and how she was likely still drunk from the night before. How else could she explain coming here like she had? 

“Are you fucking mental?” Kyle said in a raised whisper. He would like to have this conversation in his flat so his neighbors wouldn’t have to hear it, but there was no way he was inviting her into the flat. She might think he was proposing or something the way she was taking his hints. “Like, actually insane?” 

“Why would you say that?” Sarah’s grin left her face. “That is just mean, Kyle.” 

“I am with Dan.” Kyle moved his arm from out of the blanket and saw how Sarah’s eyes followed down to the quick gap he made, showing that he was naked underneath the blanket. Keeping one of his arms out of the blanket, yet covering himself back up, Kyle gestured toward the lift. His voice raising beyond his control. “He literally just left my bed. I told you _no_ last night and left with _Dan_. What else can I say? Why do you think it is appropriate for you to come here? It is barely six in the morning!” 

“I don’t think it will last.” Sarah said and appeared completely sober now. “Dan Smith isn’t the type of person that you settle down with. I mean, he can barely function as a person. Are you going to bring _that_ home to your family?” 

Kyle was stunned. Who the hell did she think she was to pass judgment on Dan? She didn’t know him. Kyle had once thought about pursuing something with Sarah before the whole thing with Dan started and now he was grateful that he never did. 

“I feel sad for you.” Kyle shook his head and went to shut the door. “Never come here again. Don’t talk to me. If you see me somewhere, we don’t know each other.” 

“Can’t handle a real woman?” Sarah shouted leaning into the still open space of the door. “Is that why you are so caught up in him? You know what, you can’t have me anymore. Once you are done with that pillow-biter, don’t come near me. I don’t want whatever diseases he likely has!”

Kyle felt his face warm at her words but he knew it was useless to try to reason with her. She was not in a rational state of mind to listen to anything he had to say. He just hoped that she left before she woke up his neighbors. 

“Go home and dry out.” Kyle closed the door the rest of the way and locked it behind him. 

Turning back toward the lounge, he found a very tired, and confused, looking flatmate staring at him. 

“Did you leave with Dan but spend the night with Sarah?” Josh asked as he took in the sight of Kyle stood in their lounge in a blanket wrapped up like a toga. 

“No. Dan just left and I heard a knock at the door. I thought it was Dan returning because...well, we kinda had a thing, but anyways, it was Sarah. Still somewhat drunk from last night. She brought a bloke with her to the party and thought we were going to have a threesome? The bloke, Sarah, and me.” 

“Yeah, I saw her all over you with that guy.” Josh laughed. “That must be like your fantasy? Both at the same time?” 

“Maybe if I wasn’t so fucking in love with Dan, maybe.” Kyle sighed and threw himself down on the sofa. 

“Wow! Love?” Josh yawned and sat down next to him. “Kyle in love...uhm.” 

“Uhm? What the fuck does that mean?” Kyle was still worked up from Sarah and said it with a bit too much bite. 

“Easy. I know you are frustrated but I’m not the enemy.” Josh bumped his arm against Kyle’s bare arm. “You normally don’t do long term commitments, that is all. I mean, Jesse was a five week thing and who was it, Tina? She lasted about four days. Sammy was a month. Am I forgetting anyone that was not a one night?” 

“I never felt this way before.” Kyle shrugged his shoulders. Josh was right, he was not a long term commitment kind of person. But there was something about Dan. Something that made him realize why people settled down and wanted to stay with only one person. Falling back so his neck hit the back of the sofa and his head dangled off the back a bit, Kyle let out a soft noise. “He makes me feel butterflies in my stomach and like I can’t breathe unless I’m touching him. I think about him all the time and when he isn’t with me, I can’t wait until I can be with him again. It is fucking pathetic, I know.” 

“Sounds like you got it bad.” Josh smiled as Kyle gave him a pathetic look. “Love sick, Kyle.” 

“Not if Sarah fucks this up for me.” Kyle’s face fell. “Dan saw her coming here. She got off the lift when he was leaving. And he didn’t leave well.” 

“A row so soon?” Josh leaned back against the sofa and copied Kyle, his neck resting on the back and facing Kyle. “That is not a good sign.” 

“It wasn’t really a row.” Kyle ran his free hand through his hair and then down his face. “Can I tell you something and it doesn’t leave this room?” 

“Of course.” Josh said with all seriousness. “Flatmate code.” 

“We have been messing ‘round since the beginning but still going slow.” Kyle paused to see if Josh was comfortable with this conversation. 

Josh was fully accepting of Kyle’s sexuality but he didn’t always want to hear all the details. Kyle could imagine that most straight blokes did not want to hear about two guys getting it on, but he really didn’t have a frame of reference for it. And it wasn’t like he didn’t want to hear about Josh and a woman getting it on, because Kyle fully appreciated women as well. Either way, Josh typically would tell him if he was giving him too much details. As their friendship grew, Josh was less and less concerned about Kyle sharing details. 

“So nothing with the bum then?” Josh asked as if they were talking about anything else and Kyle loved him for it. 

“We only just sucked each other off the other day, but last night Dan said he wanted to try more. He wanted to be inside me. You know I like both, so we did.” Kyle paused and debated if he was crossing a line. “It was amazing, right? So this morning, he is wearing my pants and I just want him. Like, all the way want him so I stop what we are doing and ask if he would be willing for me to top him. Complete shut down and he leaves.” 

“You know I said the rumour was that he had never been with anyone. And he is really shy, maybe he is nervous?” Josh shrugged. “I’m not that way, but I would imagine your first time bottoming is a big deal.”

“Do you think that is it?” Kyle let out a long breath. “What if it is something else?” 

“Like what?” Josh asked confused. “Like, something something else?” 

“Maybe?” Kyle really wished no one had hurt Dan but he wondered. He knew he was shy and that it was Dan’s first relationship, but it felt like more. “How do I ask that question?” 

“I don’t know if you do.” Josh answered. “If yes, then you are bringing up something he might not be comfortable sharing with you yet and you risk him completely shutting down on you. And if no, you might make him feel like there should be a more serious reason for why he is not comfortable with anal sex.” 

Kyle turned his head to face the ceiling and allowed the silence to fill the room. Josh was likely right. He would just see how it plays out and continue to be gentle with him. 

“What are you going to do about Sarah?” Josh asked as Kyle was close to falling asleep. “She seems to be losing her mind over you.” 

“She never gave me any of those signals before I started with Dan.” Kyle opened his eyes and pushed himself up to stand. “I have no fucking idea what to do about her. I guess, wait for her to sober up and then have a serious chat with her?” 

“Good luck.” Josh stood as well. “Dibs on the shower. At least if I use all the hot water you could use a cold shower.” 

“Fuck off.” Kyle laughed as he made his way to his bedroom, following Josh down the hallway. 

Kyle spent the rest of the morning begging for his job back and texting Dan. 

His boss was a prick about it, but said he would give Kyle one more chance. But there would be no more after this one. Kyle agreed that he would make a point to show up to all of his shifts from then on. 

Leaving the building with a new schedule in his hand, Kyle sent another text to Dan asking if they could talk before practice tonight. Just as his previous two texts went, Dan did not respond to them. 

Kyle stopped by Dan’s flat and Ian told him that Dan was at work and gave him the address. Ian gave him a knowing smile like he knew something and Kyle decided he would talk to him about it later. 

Dan’s work was near where he lived and Kyle found the first person he saw to ask where Dan was at in the building. The kind lady showed Kyle to the back and into an area that looked like offices. Dan was sat hunched over a pile of papers, wearing glasses, when Kyle knocked on the door. 

Dan likely finished the line he was reading and set his pen down before raising his head. Dan's eyes went wide behind his glasses. “What are you doing here?” 

“I needed to see you.” Kyle stepped into the small office and shut the door behind him. There were no windows and they were alone. “Please don’t be upset with me. I couldn’t wait.” 

“If you come to tell me you need to stop seeing me, I understand.” Dan moved his eyes back to the paper in front of him but didn’t appear to be reading. 

“I’m not here to-” Kyle was cut off as Dan spoke again. 

“I saw her. On the lift going to yours.” Dan swallowed and then let out a quick breath. “I understand, really. I hope you two are happy together.” 

“Fuck, Dan.” Kyle moved in closer to Dan and took his upper arm, helping him stand. Dan’s eyes were on his chest and Kyle gently placed a hand underneath Dan’s chin to raise it up. Once Dan was looking at his eyes, he continued. “I’m in love with you. Like, I cannot stop thinking about you, love sick, in love with you. Sarah is just...I dunno what is going on with her, but I’m going to have a chat with her later.” 

“She came to yours.” Dan’s eyes stayed on him but his brow was furrowed and he seemed to be forcing himself to look at Kyle. “After I left...when I didn’t...why would she be there?” 

“I dunno. She smelled of alcohol and was wearing the clothes she wore the night before. I told you she was trying to get me to go home with her and that guy. She must have went home with him and, still being drunk, decided it was a good idea to try again with me. She wasn’t like this before. Yes, there was a mutual interest in one another but we never did anything. Not even a kiss. She just seems obsessed with me now. Maybe because I’m with you.” 

“She doesn’t care for me.” Dan broke his eye contact and looked down again to Kyle’s chest. “She was rude to me. This morning as we crossed paths.” 

“What did she say?” Kyle wondered if she said any of the cruel things to Dan that she had said to Kyle about Dan. She really was starting to become Kyle’s least favourite person. 

“She didn’t really say anything, it was just the way she looked at me.” Dan shrugged and looked up again. “She doesn’t like me, I can tell.” 

“I think she is jealous of you. Because I’m ignoring her and giving you so much attention.” Kyle leaned forward and kissed Dan. Letting out a sound as he finally was able to have contact with him again. He kept the kiss short, not wanting Dan to get in trouble if someone opened the door. “I don’t think she understands that no matter what she does, I’m not going to stop wanting to be with you.” 

“Even if I don’t...this morning, I wanted to but I don’t think I can.” Dan leaned his head down on Kyle’s shoulder and wrapped his arms around his back. “At least not yet.” 

“Like I said this morning, I’m fine with never doing that.” Kyle kissed the back of Dan’s head and rested his chin on the same spot. “But if you are ever ready, I will make it so good for you.” 

Dan stood back and nodded his head. The conversation was done for now but Kyle was sure they would have it again in the future. Likely, many more times but he was okay with it. Whatever Dan needed, he was willing to give him. 

“So, what are you reading?” Kyle asked looking down on the desk and then started laughing seeing what it was. “Oh my, what kind of work do you do here?” 

“It is an editing service for...let’s say adventurous authors.” Dan blushed and turned over the sheet he was editing. “You need to go before I am no longer allowed to edit this crap. See you night, right?” 

“Yes.” Kyle smiled at Dan’s question. Like he would turn down an opportunity to play music and spend time with Dan. “Cannot wait to meet your mum.” 

“Fuck, don’t talk about it.” Dan blushed more and gently pushed Kyle to the door. “Go before I turned even more red.” 

“Not red, just a lovely shade of pink.” Kyle pulled Dan toward him as they reached the door and kissed him. The sight of Dan in glasses was enough to make Kyle want to sink to his knees to act on his thoughts from earlier. Dan let out that happy sound and Kyle deepened the kiss, not caring if anyone found them anymore. 

Dan pushed him back after a few minutes and he had a lovely shade of pink on his cheeks. Kyle smiled knowing he made him look like that. 

“Good day, my Pinky.” Kyle gave him one quick kiss and then opened the door to leave. Dan shyly waved him out and sat back in his chair. 

Walking home, Kyle couldn’t get the smile to leave his face.


	10. Roz

Dan was at his door right as Kyle was ready to leave for Dan’s parents’ house. They were going to arrive fifteen minutes earlier so Dan’s mum could properly meet Kyle and the two could get to know one another. Dan’s father was away on business and still did not know about Kyle. 

“Dan?” Kyle asked as he tilted his head to the side and then reached for his phone. “Did I miss a text?” 

“We should cancel practice.” Dan had his arms crossed behind his back and his eyes followed Kyle’s hand to his phone. “We just had a practice and we don’t need to over do it.” 

“Okay, more time to get little Dan stories from childhood.” Kyle teased as he walked out the door and leaned his head down to find Dan’s eyes, which were now on their feet. “I bet you were the most adorable little child.” 

“Stop it.” Dan shied away from Kyle’s eyes and took half a step back. “We should cancel that as well.” 

“Come on, she is going to love me. Everyone loves me.” Kyle took the half step toward Dan and put his hands on his waist. Waiting, Kyle kissed his forehead. 

“It isn’t that.” Dan shook his head slightly. He gave in after a full minute of standing still and rested his head on Kyle’s shoulder, his eyes cast down and his voice barely above a whisper. “I’ve never and it is weird. She is going to know.” 

“Know what?” Kyle whispered back into Dan’s ear and started swaying them back and forth. He really hoped a neighbor didn’t walk by right then. First he gave them a shouting match that morning and now two grown men slow dancing in the hallway to no music. 

“That we do things. Together.” Dan’s voice stayed low but he began to move with Kyle and unwrapped his arms from behind his back to wrap around Kyle’s back. 

“Yes. We do loads of things together.” Kyle nodded his head and wondered where Dan was going with this. “We watch films together and then cannot sleep because your taste is horrid. We eat toast and donuts together. Borrow each other’s clothes. Go to parties together. We play in a band together.” 

“No. The other things.” Dan lowered his hands from Kyle’s back to his trousers, hugging Kyle’s bum in his large hands. 

Kyle grinned into Dan’s hair. Yes, they did many very lovely things together but that is not a reason for Kyle not to meet his mum. “I hate to be the one to tell you this, but your father didn’t just whisper into your mother’s ear to get her pregnant. They did _other things_ as well.”

“That is different.” Dan swatted at Kyle’s bum and then moved his hands back up to his back. “They are my parents and I don’t think about things like that.” 

“She likely realizes that you are a grown man and it is only natural that you have desires to-"

“No. Veto. No talking about my desires with my mum.” 

__“What do you have me for? It wasn’t on my list of topics to discuss.”_ _

__“You have topics?” Dan asked unsure._ _

__“Yes. Mainly complimenting her on her house and on raising you. And asking about her gigging history.” Kyle kissed the back of Dan’s head and then moved so he could raise Dan’s head up to look at him. “I promise I will only ask her to tell me one embarrassing story. If she tells me more, that is on her.”_ _

__“There are so many.” Dan covered his face with his hands and stood there. “Tell me it is going to be okay.”_ _

__“It is going to be okay.” Kyle removed Dan’s hands from his face and allowed the door to shut behind him. “But we need to leave now to have time before the others arrive. I thought you were going to meet me there.”_ _

__“My mum called and I panicked and didn’t answer it.” Dan allowed Kyle to move them down the hallway to the lift. “She called me again and then one more time. What will I say to her?”_ _

__“Mum, this is Kyle. Isn’t he the loveliest person you ever met?” Kyle waited for the lift door to open and then dragged Dan inside. As the doors closed, he pressed the button for the lobby. “No mum, you cannot divorce father and marry him. He is mine.”_ _

__The shocked look on Dan’s face was worth it._ _

__Dan didn’t say much on their way to his parent’s house. Three times he tried to get Kyle to have a family emergency and allow Dan to reschedule the meeting. Kyle simply gave him a look and squeezed his hand a little tighter each time._ _

__Standing outside their door, Dan looked like a ghost and he couldn’t stop pulling at his shirt and then running his hand through his hair._ _

__“My goodness, it is just your mum! It isn’t like meeting with the Queen!” Kyle hugged Dan from behind in front of the door, pulling him back against his front. The pressure stopped Dan from fidgeting so much and Kyle decided to remember it for later. “Unless you are members of the royal family and then I can’t believe I’m going to be a princess.”_ _

__“That isn’t how that works.” Dan said, leaning his weight back against Kyle but keeping his head bend down._ _

__“So you are part of the royal family. Tell me, does Elizabeth have special knickers for royal occasions or is she just wearing the same holey pants like the rest of us peasants?”_ _

__“You are the worst.” Dan moved his head back and laughed, pressing a quick kiss to Kyle’s throat. “Don’t talk to my mum about the Queen’s undergarments, please?”_ _

__“So many rules.” Kyle teased and stepped back, with his hand resting on the small of Dan’s back. “Open the door.”_ _

__Dan’s mum was lovely. Absolutely lovely. She offered them tea and they sat in the dining room while they drank and made small talk. Dan’s mum sat at the head of the table with Kyle and Dan on either side of her._ _

__Kyle’s eyes went wide after the first drink as he tasted alcohol mixed in with the tea. So she was that kind of mum._ _

__Dan stayed quiet and allowed his mum to carry most of the conversation._ _

__She asked a bit about Kyle’s family and where he went to school. Kyle told him about going to uni with Dan but never having met him until a shared mate’s party a few years later. She talked about how fate had a way of throwing people together until they finally listened._ _

__“Mum.” Dan blushed and sat down his cup too quickly, making a loud noise and some of the tea to spill onto the saucer._ _

__“Oh hush now.” Dan’s mum smiled at Kyle and then increased her smile seeing that Kyle was smiling at Dan. “I’m so glad you two met. I am allowed to say it.”_ _

__“We need to set up.” Dan went to stand, but his mum put her hand on his arm to stop him. Dan’s cheeks were turning even more pink and Kyle had to bite lip at their exchange._ _

__“You are having tea with your mum, the music can wait until you finished your tea.” Dan sat back down at her words. “At least what you have managed to keep in your cup.”_ _

__“Dan has yet to allow me to listen to his music.” Dan’s mum steered the conversation to Kyle. “Tell me, are you all getting on well?”_ _

__“He is a talented musician. I can’t believe he studied English Literature. He would have been well received in the music program.” Kyle finished his tea and watched as Dan’s eyes moved to his lap. Maybe that wasn’t on Dan’s list of approved topics._ _

__“Don’t worry, he hid it from us as well.” Dan’s mum kept her eyes on Kyle, not seeing the reaction she was getting from her son. “After secondary school, I’m not really surprised.”_ _

__“Mum.” Dan looked up and pleaded with his eyes. “Please, let’s not speak of this.”_ _

__“I’m sorry. I figured he knew.” Dan’s mum moved her hand back to Dan’s arm, but this time it was for comfort and not to scold him._ _

__Dan bit the inside of his mouth, underneath his lip, and looked toward his cup as he shook his head. “Not yet.”_ _

__With that, Dan’s mum finished her tea and stood telling Kyle it was nice to properly meet him and that he was welcome here anytime._ _

__Kyle thanked her and gave her a smile as she took the empty cups and left for the kitchen._ _

__“Woody said that he needs more space for his kit.” Dan stood after his mother left and started toward his old room. “Let’s move things a bit before they come.”_ _

__Kyle followed Dan and they didn’t speak more of the topic that ended their conversation with his mum. Woody and Will arrived soon afterward and Dan went into music mode._ _

__It wasn’t until they had both brushed their teeth and got into bed at Dan’s flat that Kyle brought it up again._ _

__“You might not be ready to tell me, but I’m ready to listen whenever you want to tell me what that was about with your mum.” Kyle settled down on the bed and felt Dan move the blanket over both of them. The room was dark and it was still early for them, but both agreed that it could be an early night._ _

__“It’s boring. Don’t worry about it. It is nothing.” Dan pushed his pillow up and moved onto his side, facing away from Kyle. “Mums are dramatic.”_ _

__“Still, it seemed like something so when-” Kyle snuggled up behind Dan and attempted to calm him like he had as they waited to enter Dan’s parents’ house. Only this time, Dan shook him off and asked that he move back._ _

__“I’m tired and I really don’t want to be touched right now.” Dan said after a few minutes of silence. Kyle had moved back and now laid on his back, his head watching Dan’s back._ _

__“That’s fine.” Kyle said but really did not understand. They both loved lying near one another. And Dan would typically pull him closer to him in their sleep. “Goodnight, Pinky.”_ _

__“Goodnight, Kyle.”__

__

__Dan was pulling at the blankets in the middle of the night. He had turned toward Kyle and now laid with his head near Kyle’s chest, but mostly on his upper arm._ _

__He was making loud moans like someone was either hurting him or pleasuring him. Kyle hoped for the latter but he wasn’t sure as he saw Dan digging at the skin underneath Dan’s left side._ _

__“Stop.” Dan mumbled into his sleep and stilled his body. The only sounds in the room were Dan’s quiet sobs into Kyle’s chest/arm._ _

__This was new, Kyle thought as he debated whether to wake Dan up or just pretend like this wasn’t happening and try to go back to sleep. Dan had quieted down more and appeared to be simply asleep again._ _

__Only Kyle was woken again a few hours later with Dan crying into Kyle’s stomach._ _

__“Dan?” Kyle called his name as he moved his hand to brush through Dan’s hair. It was wilder than usual and was slightly damp despite the chill in the room. “Dan, wake up. Wake time.”_ _

__“I am not...no.” Dan mumbled into Kyle’s stomach and then sighed into the touch of Kyle’s even pressure on his scalp. “Mmmmm.”_ _

__“That’s it. All is okay. You are safe and I am Kyle.” Kyle kept the pressure on Dan’s head as he talked to him, repeating the same phrases over again. “All is okay. You are safe and I am Kyle.”_ _

__“Kyle.” Dan said in his sleep and then he was letting out soft breathing sounds, signaling that he was back asleep again._ _

__Kyle stayed awake longer than the first time Dan woke him up, just to make sure that he would stay asleep. But he was tired and soon Kyle joined Dan again._ _

__In the actual morning, Kyle woke first and found Dan curled up into the small space between Kyle’s arm and his chest._ _

__He wanted to let him sleep in after what was likely a night of restless sleep, but Kyle needed to make it to work. He had begged for his job back and he couldn’t arrive late after promising his boss he would get it together._ _

__Kyle tried to get Dan to wake up, but he wasn’t having it and stayed asleep._ _

__Kyle sent him a quick text saying that he was going to work and then left quietly._ _

__Kyle made it to work on time and gave his boss a grin as he punched in, showing him that he was there and on time._ _

__Work dragged and he had a lot of time to sneak a look at his phone. Dan had texted him back to have a nice day, but nothing else._ _

__Kyle wondered about the dreams and if they were related to the conversation with his mum. Then he wondered if Ralph knew about the dreams and the mystery of secondary school._ _

__Oh course he did. He was Dan’s best mate and Dan must have told him something over the years._ _

__Kyle wanted to text Ralph, but that seemed like he was going behind Dan’s back so he deleted the text and went back to sorting out physical items instead of his thoughts._ _

__Leaving work, Kyle reached for his phone to ask Dan if he was free and he saw a text from him saying that he wasn’t feeling well and Kyle should stay away to be cautious._ _

__Kyle texted him back that it was silly and he wanted to care for him if he was ill._ _

__Dan quickly said he was just going to sleep and be miserable, and that Kyle did not need to see him that way._ _

__After texting him to feel better and to text him soon, Kyle went home._ _

__Josh was there with another mate they both knew from odd jobs, parties, and whatnot._ _

__“So you do still live here? I thought I had the place to myself now.” Josh teased as Kyle walked in wearing Dan’s clothes. “You have double the wardrobe now. Brilliant!”_ _

__“Fuck off.” Kyle joined them in the lounge and reached for a beer without asking if it was spoken for. “I spent the night at Dan’s and it is nice to not wear the same thing.”_ _

__“Yeah, I saw you leave with him the other night.” Their mutual friend, Lewis, said. “How is that going? I heard he is a bit odd.”_ _

__“He isn’t odd. Not in a bad way, just shy.” Kyle took another drink and hoped there was more. “He is amazing. Have you heard his music?”_ _

__“Only what he has done with Ralph.” Lewis took a drink of his own beer. “I always thought that Dan and him were an item. Before I met Ralph’s girlfriend. He was always glued to Ralph at parties.”_ _

__“He tends to do that.” Josh nodded. “Now he hangs off Kyle like moss.”_ _

__“I know you are only joking, but tread lightly. I’m not in the mood and he is amazing. End of.” Kyle finished his beer and stood. “Let’s go out.”_ _

__“What? No Dan? You two have been inseparable for weeks.” Josh stood with Lewis. Turning to Lewis, he laughed. “Literally inseparable.”_ _

__“I said I’m not in the mood, so drop it.” Kyle looked between them both. Maybe it was a bad idea to go out in a bad mood, but he didn’t care. “I’ll buy the first round if you two wankers stop talking about Dan.”_ _

__The pub was a favourite of their friends group. Which on a normal night, was a good thing._ _

__But Kyle was in a foul mood and the first person he saw that he knew was Sarah._ _

__Sarah surrounded by her mates and all of them giving him evil looks from across the pub._ _

__“Fuck me.” Kyle groaned as he turned his back to the women. Why did she have to be here? He just wanted to get drunk and forgot that Dan had secrets he refused to tell him._ _

__“The prey has been spotted by the herd and they appear to be waiting to ponce.” Josh looked over Kyle’s shoulder and then quickly back. “Fuck, they spotted the friendly ally of the prey and are now thinking of killing it for dessert. That is some seriously pissed group of beauty.”_ _

__“What did you do?” Lewis asked returning with their second round. “There are about ten pairs of eyes trying to murder you from across the room.”_ _

__“Honestly, I’m not quite sure but she seems obsessed with me and she didn’t like that I told her to leave me alone.” Kyle took his beer and had a long drink. He wouldn't mention the cruel words about Dan. They had finally just shut up about him not being there with Kyle._ _

__They tried to ignore them, but after a few minutes, one of them came over to the three men and accidentally spilled her drink down Kyle’s back._ _

__“Fuck it.” Kyle stood and made his way over to Sarah, his back wet and sticky with whatever sweet drink Sarah’s friend had ordered before spilling it on him._ _

__“Sarah, can we talk?” Kyle said in a neutral tone despite the rage he felt._ _

__“I’m sorry, I don’t believe I know you.” Sarah looked back to her drink and ignored Kyle as he stood near their table._ _

__“Sarah, honestly?” Kyle tried again._ _

__“That is what you said, remember? I’m not supposed to talk to you and we don’t know each other.” Sarah sipped her drink through the straw and then put it down on the table, continuing to ignore him._ _

__Kyle was irate. He rarely became upset, figuring that the world had more problems then Kyle alone could ever have so there was no point. But, Sarah was being unreasonable and petty._ _

__“Fine. Act like a child. I will say it in front of everyone then.” Kyle took a chair from a neighboring table and sat down. “I was interested in you months ago. Maybe we could have had a thing, had a laugh, but it didn’t happen. You are an amazing person but I am with Dan. As much as you don’t like that or think he is wrong for me, I am with him. I don’t quite care what you think of him, but you do not bring random men to me nor show up at my door early in the morning when you know I’m with Dan. Sort out your own shit and leave me out of it.”_ _

__“It won’t last.” The snark in Sarah’s tone from before was gone. “Mark my words.”_ _

__“Again, I don’t quite care what you think about that.” Kyle stood and looked toward her friends, “Ladies, enjoy your evening.”_ _

__“Such a prick.” Kyle heard as he left to make his way back to his friends._ _

__“I’m going home.” Kyle finished his beer and nodded to his mates. “I sorry, I cannot stay here with her. I thought this would distract me from where I really want to be, but that failed. With any luck, I will wake to a better day.”_ _

__Both Josh and Lewis offered to leave with him, but Kyle told them to stay._ _

__There was a chill in the air when he stepped outside. The weather was starting to change and soon there would be snow._ _

__Looking at his phone, he saw a text from Dan._ _

__I can’t sleep. Bed is too big without you._ _

__Kyle made it to Dan’s flat in less than twenty minutes and smiled when Dan opened the door for him._ _

__“Is it safe?” Kyle asked before stepping in. “Are you still ill?”_ _

__“I think that is gone.” Dan walked closer and took Kyle’s hand. “Thanks for coming over.”_ _

__“You sent me the universal ‘I’m horny, come over’ text.” Kyle smiled stepping into Dan’s space. "Oh course, I came running."_ _

__“Is that a thing?” Dan looked down. “A thing people do?”_ _

__“Yes. Probably for the wrong reasons at times.” Kyle grinned and kissed him. “Or for the best reasons.”_ _

__“Am I the wrong reasons or the right reasons?” Dan kissed Kyle and stayed near his lips. “You know, so I know for next time.”_ _

__“Right reasons.” Kyle narrowed the gap and kissed him, moving back into Dan’s flat._ _

__“No. No. No.” Joey shouted from the sofa. “Bring someone for me or don’t be all lovey dovey in front of me.”_ _

__“We will go to his room.” Kyle made a show of dragging Dan down the hallway as he laughed. The sound was magic to his ears._ _

__It didn’t matter that Dan had secrets or that Sarah didn’t understand. Dan was his and he was with him._ _

And his mouth tasted wonderful. His hands strong as clothes were removed and they laid on the bed facing each other.

"I'm sorry." Dan's eyes stayed on his as Dan's hand moved down Kyle's back to his bum. "I really wasn't ill. I just needed some time alone. And then I remembered that being alone sucks if you are not here with me."

__Fuck the rest, Kyle thought as he leaned into Dan's touch and found his lips again._ _


	11. Pinki

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: A bit of Dan's past is discussed.

Somehow Kyle’s mother convinced Kyle to bring Dan to a family dinner. 

And somehow Kyle convinced Dan to come to his family dinner. 

Thankfully, Kyle talked his mum into only allowing Kyle’s father and one sibling to join for the first meeting. If Kyle gave Dan the full family treatment at the first meeting, Dan would probably hide in a small space like a cat and only come out once everyone left. 

After Kyle’s mum and father gushed over Dan for a full ten minutes of what looked like torture for Dan, they finally went into the kitchen to check on dinner. Dan had a two minute window to bury his head into Kyle’s chest and then Kyle’s sister arrived and the gushing started all over again. 

Kyle’s sister was now telling their parents some story about a mate at her job and Kyle was listening in. Dan had disappeared to the toilet a few minutes ago and still had yet to return. Kyle was about ready to text him to see if he was okay when he heard something hit the floor upstairs. 

Maybe Dan was trying to find a space to hide? In his defense, the gushing had been a bit much. Kyle never had brought someone home before, at least not like this. 

Kyle had told his mum about Dan two weeks ago and how Dan was the most amazing person he had ever met. His mum cried over the phone in happiness and Kyle told her she was being dramatic. Then his father yelled at him, as he secretly listened in on the line, for talking to his mother like that. Kyle apologized to get his father’s attention off him and then his father told his mother that she was being dramatic. 

By the end of the conversation, his mum had convinced Kyle to invite Dan to a Sunday dinner at their home. The compromise was the only one sibling and that it would be scheduled out. Kyle had just met Dan’s mum and Kyle didn’t want Dan to be overwhelmed. 

Kyle had yet to meet Dan’s father, with Dan protesting each time it was mentioned. 

But Dan was becoming more and more comfortable with other aspects of being in a relationship, with Dan allowing Kyle to look when he took Kyle in his mouth, so Kyle was not going press the issue yet. Progress was progress.

Sneaking away from his family, Kyle found Dan in Kyle’s old bedroom that he shared with various siblings over the years. Their parents were using it mainly for storage now, but there were still pictures on the walls and hints of their childhood and adolescence scattered about the room. 

Dan was stood in front of a photo taken when Kyle was around sixteen years old. He and a group of mates had all gathered at a party at someone’s house. It was the end of the school term and someone’s overly invested parent had insisted on the photo. And then embarrassed their child by framing it and handing it out to each person in the photo at the start of the next term. For some reason, sixteen year old Kyle thought it needed to be kept and hung on the wall that was directly in his view as he lay in bed. 

Probably because it had two lads from his year that he secretly fancied at the time. He could hang the photo on the wall without anyone being the wiser because it had a bunch of people in it. And he could picture one of those lads in his bed while his hand wandered his body, on the rare occasions when he had the room to himself. 

“Sorry.” Dan kept his eyes on the photo and didn’t turn when Kyle wrapped his arms around his front from behind. The photo was still on the wall, but the bed had long been moved to a different part of the room. “I just needed a minute and this door was open. I showed you mine, so I figured I could see yours.” 

“Dirty.” Kyle laughed into Dan’s neck and held him tighter to try and transfer some of his calm to Dan. Kyle honestly thought Dan would have made an excuse by now to end the dinner early and leave. But Dan had told before they arrived that he knew how much this meant to Kyle. Kyle was close with his family and wanted to share Dan with them. Kyle loved him even more that he was staying and appeared to be following through with eating a meal with his family. “I hope you like mine as much as I like yours.” 

“I didn’t mean it like that.” Dan rested the side of his head against Kyle’s head and Kyle could feel how warm he was. Kyle was teasing and Dan was reacting, which was amazing but maybe not with Kyle’s parents downstairs waiting for them to return. “They are not going to think that we are…?” 

“No. My parents are listening to my sister talk about work. They love that she has a proper job and she loves to talk. Perfect combination for a distraction from me and my lovely new person.” Kyle kept his head pressed against Dan’s and took in the photo more. “I had a massive crush on the second one on the left and the one standing right next to me. Just didn’t realize it at the time. Even when I pictured them as I wanked off, I didn’t allow myself to say that I liked them.” 

“Did they?” Dan asked after a long pause. 

“Fancy me or wank off thinking of me? I honestly hope for the latter. It didn’t take much to get me off when I was younger, but the sight of that, I would have probably came untouched.” 

“Kyle.” Dan dragged Kyle’s name out and Kyle hoped the dinner would go quickly. He wanted to bring Dan back to his and continue what they had started the night before. 

He had been going down on Dan and kissed the spot underneath Dan’s balls without thinking. Dan had tensed at first because Kyle was nearing territory that had yet to be explored but then opened his legs more. 

Kyle spent some time there, kissing and licking the space between Dan’s balls and his hole. Dan’s thighs shook in the best way at the attention Kyle was giving him, but Kyle didn’t go any further. He didn’t want to spring that on Dan, even though he seemed to be enjoying Kyle’s attention on him. Before the topic could even be discussed, Dan demanded that he come back up to kiss him. 

Kyle loved kissing Dan so he eagerly followed his command and they had yet to discuss it more. 

Kyle was now kissing at Dan’s throat and Dan was asking him questions that he was not fully paying attention to due to his task at hand. He didn’t want to leave any marks because his parents would surely know, so he was only giving light kisses to whatever spots he could reach at this angle. 

Dan asked him a question for the second time and Kyle’s brain heard Dan asking him if he still kept in touch with anyone in the photo. Kyle tried to remember if he knew where they were now. Removing his lips from Dan’s blushing skin, Kyle went back to leaning his head against Dan’s as he answered. “I lost track of Tim when he went to uni and I think Michael is living in the states now. I don’t talk to either of them.” 

“I don’t talk to anyone from my year.” Dan offered without Kyle asking, which was a first. Outside of little throw away comments here and there, Dan did not talk about his life before university. From what Kyle knew and had pieced together, Dan did not hold fond memories of secondary school. Dan’s bedroom had been his sanctuary away from people. It was there that he wrote and practiced, and became lost in the words of other people’s lives. “I didn’t really talk to them then either.” 

“No best mates?” Kyle said with hesitation. Maybe he was asking too much of him given they were stood in Kyle’s old room hiding from his family. But Dan was offering a glimpse into his life from before and Kyle wanted to know everything about him. Even the parts that might he hard to hear. 

“I had one until Year 9.” Dan paused and Kyle felt him trembling underneath his hands. “It didn’t end well. I stayed to myself after him.” 

“Sounds lonely.” Kyle had loads of mates in school and frequently spent time outside of school with them. He couldn’t imagine not having friends to help the school day along. 

He could picture younger, overweight Dan holding his head down and walking through the hallways. Anxious around so many people and unable to relax enough to make a friend. It hurt Kyle’s heart because he knew there were teens at his school that no one talk to and hardly knew. Kyle, caught up in his own narcissistic adolescent life, didn’t even know their names. 

If Dan had been at his school, Kyle knew he would just be one of those people in the background. 

“I had fictional stories to occupy my mind.” Dan turned so he was facing Kyle and Kyle saw the blush across his skin. “Books and films were loads more exciting than the day to day musings of my classmates. And much more entertaining than my boring life.” 

“Do you think we would have been friends?” Kyle asked resting his hands on Dan’s hips. Kyle already knew the answer, but he wanted to hear what Dan thought on the topic. Dan was no longer trembling and he took it as a sign that Dan was relaxing more. “Would you have noticed me in class?” 

Dan’s eyes went down to the floor and he took ages to answer. “No. I dunno, maybe? But....you wouldn’t have wanted...back then...no.” 

“Was it the weight thing?” Kyle knew he needed to tread lightly through these waters. He kept his voice even and neutral. Kyle really wanted to believe what he was going to say next, but he wasn’t sure his teenage self would have been so understanding. “I wouldn’t have cared.” 

“I can’t talk about this right now.” Dan took a step back and hit a dresser behind him. Blushing more, he went around Kyle and waited by the door. “Come on. I can’t go down there alone.” 

Kyle wanted to make a joke about them coming downstairs together, but he knew it wasn’t the time. 

Dinner went well. His father asked Dan a few questions about the band and writing music in general. Kyle’s mum told Dan that they would love to see them play somewhere. Kyle’s sister warned Dan that Kyle was a fainter when it came to being on stage and proceeded to tell a long, detailed story about how Kyle passed out during a school recital. 

Kyle hated his sister for telling the story, but it made Dan smile so he forgave her. 

They left soon after dinner, with Kyle knowing that Dan needed to get out of there so he could settle again. As much as Dan was holding it together, it was only a front. 

Kyle knew him enough by now that he knew Dan’s front was going to start to unravel soon. 

Kyle was proud of Dan for making it as long as he had. And he loved his family for not pushing too hard and making it any more awkward than it needed to be. 

They were walking to the Tube in relative silence when Dan stopped them and pulled Kyle off the main path. 

They were stood next to a tall iron fence and Dan seemed lost in his head. Kyle had learned the past few weeks that Dan needed time to open up and when he got like this, he just needed to be patient. The night had already been long and Dan’s brain must be going over everything. 

“Corey told me that I liked boys in Year 9. I don’t know how he knew because I barely allowed myself to acknowledge it. I mean, I didn’t acknowledge it. Even to myself.” Dan hugged his arms to his stomach, his eyes on the pavement. “He said he was fine with it and hoped I could trust him enough to be honest about it. I told him it wasn’t true and that I didn’t think I fancied anyone. Not boys but maybe not even girls. He said okay and then we didn’t talk about it again. Until…” 

Dan bit underneath his lip on the inside and scratched at the spot underneath his left arm that had been getting redder and redder each time Kyle saw him without a shirt. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. 

“I’m listening.” Kyle tried to assure him that he could handle whatever Dan was going to tell him. “Please tell me.” 

“I was in the locker room. I always waited until everyone left and then quickly changed over. But Corey came back in with the fittest boy in school. Corey likely forgot something, he always did that. I do not know why he was with Jason. They were talking about stupid stuff and Jason asked why he hung out with me. Corey told him that he felt sorry for me and was trying to be nice. He knew I didn’t have other mates. That our parents knew each other and he just kinda was forced to grow up with me. Jason teased him for it and Corey said that he was going to stop hanging out with me because I started looking at him. Like...sexually.” 

Dan took another pause and a deeper breath. Kyle hoped Dan’s story was not going in the direction he thought it was going. 

“Jason...well, he called me all sorts of names and said that Corey best stay away from me or I might do something to him.” Dan swallowed and then started scratching at the spot underneath his arm again, rougher than before. “Corey laughed and walked around the corner to see me standing there. Thankfully, I had the mind to not undress when I first heard their voices come back in. I couldn’t say anything so Jason started calling me those names to my face and he pushed me back against the locker. He started saying all these stupid things, like if I liked watching him naked in the showers and if I ever did anything to Corey in his sleep. He kept saying such hate filled things but...the worst...fuck, the worst part was that Corey just stood there. He said nothing. He was supposed to be my best mate and he said nothing. Jason left and Corey followed him.” 

“Corey sounds like a pathetic loser.” Kyle was angry and he wanted to find Corey and Jason and tell them what pathetic, insecure people they had been. How they were hateful and homophobic twats.

“But he wasn’t. At least he didn’t act like that around me.” Dan shifted his feet and hugged his arms harder. “But maybe he was just faking it the whole time? Maybe he felt sorry for me because it was harder for me to make friends and I was odd, and massively overweight. Because he stopped talking to me all together after that day. He became mates with Jason and his group. A group that never gave me the time of day, but now decided that I needed to be reminded of being gay every day until I finished A Levels and left. I went to uni and met Ralph. He reminded me of Corey. Corey before Jason. It took me ages to trust Ralph. Yet every now and then, I find myself listening in on his conversations with others to make sure that he is not talking about me.” 

“I’m so sorry that-” Kyle started but Dan cut him off. 

“No. Don’t pity me. I was just answering your question from before.” Dan’s eyes looked up to him in somewhat of a challenge. Kyle had never seen Dan like this before and he didn’t know how to proceed. 

“Okay.” Kyle nodded his head. He figured asking questions might be the best way to gauge how to proceed with the information. “Can I ask questions?” 

“Depends on the question.” Dan’s eyes went back down to their shoes. For once, Kyle was grateful he didn’t have Dan looking at him. 

“Your mum knew?” 

“Not really. She just knew that Corey no longer wanted to be friends with me. He told his parents that I had changed and he wasn’t going to come over anymore if our parents got together. It turned into a big thing for a few months and eventually, my parents stopped having dinner with his parents. His parents took Corey’s side and mine took my side. They knew that I wasn't comfortable around others and that people teased me. That I came home sometimes after Corey and I stopped being friends and hid in my room for hours. Neither of my parents knew that Corey thought I was gay and what he was saying about me at school. Or what they did to me there.” 

“Did to you?” Kyle asked growing even more angrier at these people. Fuck, what did the little cunts do to him?

Dan froze like he said something he wasn’t ready to share yet. He stopped scratching at the spot underneath his arm and pulled his shirt out before looking around them. Kyle followed his eyes and found they were relatively alone and those around them were not paying them any mind.

Dan ran his hand through his hair and then repeated the motion before he spoke. 

“Stupid things really. Like taking things out of my locker and burning them. Assignments and books. Even my clothes once. Not the ones I was wearing, just the ones in my locker. They would push me around in the hallways or bump into me in the classroom. They would act like I did it and tell me to get away from them. That they were not ‘into me like that.’ Or writing my name in the toilets and saying I would suck people off if I was found alone in the toilet. One of them even started unzipping when they found me in there alone. I ran out and stopped using the toilets at school after that. I just tried to ignore it, you know, not show them that I cared about what they said...but it was harder at times. Everyone knew Jason and I was a nobody, so...it wasn’t like anyone was trying to stop them.” 

“I am not a violent person, but I want to hurt them. What they did, did that is just cruel. Criminal even.” Kyle’s fists were balled up and he wanted to pace, but he didn’t want to startle Dan with any quick movements. “Fuck, and the school did nothing?” 

“It followed me. Like I said with Ralph and with, like, relationships with others. It was hard enough to trust that my mates could be trusted, let alone someone I barely knew. I lost the weight but I couldn’t lose that feeling. That being me was wrong. That I needed to protect myself from people. People you trust could still hurt you.” 

“Even me?” Kyle asked with sadness in his voice. The anger was still there, but now Kyle understood so much more why Dan was taking everything so slow. Why he would talk down on himself and needed convincing that Kyle wanted to be with him. And how he reacted when he saw Sarah hanging all over Kyle and when Kyle pushed him a bit too hard against the door at Ralph’s party. “Fuck, even me.” 

“A bit. But you are so wonderful and amazing to me.” Dan smiled down and hugged himself tighter as the smile disappeared. “But yes. That voice in my head says that I especially need to protect myself from you. You know, because I love you so much and you could hurt me more than anyone. I had to avoid Ralph for a month once I realized it with him.” 

“Ralph?” Kyle turned his head toward Dan and away from the random old man he saw walking away from them. “Why did you need to avoid him? Did he do something to you?” 

“He was so nice to me and he always was there. He would drag me along to parties and didn’t care that I stayed glued to his side and barely said anything. He was the first one to hear me sing something I wrote and the first one to make me do something with it. No one was ever that nice to me outside of my family.” Dan looked up to Kyle for the last bit. “But he is straight and, with as nice as he was to me, he wouldn’t appreciate it if I started to fall for him. So I stayed away from him until it passed and it didn’t make him go away like Corey did.” 

Kyle stood there with his mouth open slightly in shock. There was so much to unpack with what Dan had just said. He wanted to hurt Corey even more than he had before. Corey taught Dan that being gay meant people left you. Even people that loved you, they would leave if they found out. Probably why Dan didn’t tell anyone about himself until after Kyle came along. And even with that, it was hard for Dan to trust him. Trust that Kyle wouldn’t hurt him. 

“I love you.” Kyle wanted to touch him but he didn’t know if he could. “I’m so in love with you it hurts sometimes. And not like now, because I hurt that people treated you that way. It isn’t pity, it is genuine hate for people like that. It hurts sometimes because I think you are so fascinating and I want to be with you all the time. I ache to touch you because I feel so much better when I’m near you. And not just sexually, my body just loves being near yours. I hate that Corey taught you to fear being yourself. That mates would turn their backs on you if you are honest with them.” 

Dan didn’t move for a long time, the night air turning colder as it the darkness took over the sights around them. 

When Dan did move, it was to take Kyle’s hand and start them back in the direction of the Tube. They were on their way to Kyle’s place. Their hands stayed together throughout the Tube ride and until they reached Kyle’s bedroom. With Dan dropping Kyle’s hand so they could take off their coats. 

Once they were dressed in night clothes, Dan sat on the bed and watched as Kyle moved around the room. Kyle didn’t know why he was stalling getting into bed but he was fairly sure that it had to do with what Dan had told him earlier. 

As if picking up on Kyle’s odd aversion to getting into bed, Dan asked, “Did I freak you out? Should I go?” 

“Oh course not.” Kyle stopped tidying up his dirty clothes scattered about the room and turned toward Dan. Fuck, he looked a mess and about a few seconds from falling apart on him. “About going to yours. I want you here. I always want you here.” 

“But I did, right?” Dan raised his eyes to Kyle and followed him as Kyle dropped his dirty shirt and sat on the bed next to him. “I freaked you out with the school stuff and then with thinking I was in love with Ralph. I’m not, if you are wondering. I probably could have let myself go there back then, but we are best as mates. And he is into women, and very much into his girlfriend.” 

“It is a lot, that is all.” Kyle found Dan’s hand and pulled it into his lap to hold on tightly. “It makes me think about things with you differently.” 

Dan’s eyes quickly moved away from his and Kyle continued to ease his mind. 

“Not in a bad way, just with more understanding. Like with Sarah and her constant need to try and get me to be with her. And when I pushed you into the door at Ralph’s. And why you have never been with anyone. Why it was even more of a bigger deal than I realized that you told your mum about us. Why you believe you could never be in a band with Ralph. The list goes on and on.” 

“It’s hard for me to talk about this or I would have told you sooner.” Dan was breathing a bit heavier than usual. “I don’t want to do anything to make you go away. You can never go away now. No pressure or anything, but fuck, please.” 

“I have no plans of going anywhere.” Kyle took a chance and brushed back Dan’s hair with his free hand. Dan responded by pressing his head into Kyle’s hand. “Like I said, I like being near you. Thank you for telling me, I just need to wrap my head around it.” 

Dan nodded his head and allowed Kyle to pull him further into bed. They lay facing one another, with Kyle’s hand still running through Dan’s hair and Dan’s hand on Kyle’s hip, holding him close. 

Dan moved in closer and pressed his lips against Kyle’s in a soft kiss. Dan’s lower lip pressed into the space between Kyle’s lips and his hand moved so it rested on Kyle’s bum. Unlike their typical kisses, there wasn’t any urgency in the kiss. Just two people lying together and sharing space. 

In the quiet, Kyle’s mind continued to go. The nightmares and crying in his sleep, Kyle was sure that was related to what Dan told him about Corey and his new mates. The hurt in Dan’s eyes when Brad had his lips on Kyle’s throat. Ralph looking at Dan longer when Dan finally opened up to Kyle in the pub. And the anger in Ralph’s eyes when Dan saw Kyle with Brad and Sarah. How Dan’s teenage self wouldn’t believe Dan was in a bed with a fit bloke. It all made his head heavy. 

So he pressed into the kiss a bit more and used the hand in Dan’s hair to rest against the back of his head to hold him close. To kiss him the way he should have had when he was younger. To love him the way any person deserves to be loved. 

They kissed like that for a while, until both of them grew tired and Dan’s head found its way to Kyle’s chest. Kyle hugged Dan into him close and rested his head on top of Dan’s, his wild hair providing a nice pillow. 

Kyle heard a mumbled ‘love you’ into his chest before Dan’s breathing evened out signaling sleep. Though Kyle was tired, exhausted from their day, his mind didn’t let him sleep. 

“I’m going to love you so hard, you will never think of them again.” Kyle whispered into Dan’s hair. “I’m going to show you how wonderful you are everyday. Erase all those doubts they put in your head.” 

Kyle closed his eyes and focused on the feeling of Dan against him. Sinking into the feeling, he felt himself slowly drift off into sleep.


	12. Lyserød

“Why did you take-umph.” Kyle was kissed mid-sentence. Smiling into the kiss, Kyle forgot what he was going to say. Something about Dan doing something with the door, but that didn’t matter now because Dan’s tongue was in his mouth. And his hands were holding on tight to the bottom of Kyle’s hoody, pulling him against Dan’s body. 

Kyle had worked for the majority of the day and then ran home to get clothes and some spirits for the evening. They had plans to meet at Dan’s flat following work. They were going to spend the night together and then all of the next day. 

Dan’s mouth tasted like alcohol, with Dan obviously starting the night without him. 

“Hello.” Kyle smiled as Dan pulled back for air. Kyle was stood in the middle of the doorway with his overnight sack in one hand and a tall bottle in the other. Dan’s cheeks were that wonderful shade of pink and his hair wild. The ravaging kiss at the door was not completely out of place, but something seemed a bit off. “I missed you as well. Let’s not go more than ten hours without seeing each other again.” 

“They are gone.” Dan smiled up at him and then appeared to realize that Kyle wasn’t inside the flat and quickly stood back to allow him to step further inside. “In. In.” 

Once the door was shut and Kyle had set his clothes sack down on the sofa, he listened for the sounds of Dan’s flatmates and heard nothing. “Gone, gone? Or we have two hours to get naked on the sofa, gone?” 

“We are never to speak of that, remember?” Dan took the bottle out of Kyle’s hand and turned to walk toward the kitchen. “It never happened.” 

Kyle smiled thinking of the night a few days ago. They were watching something stupid on the telly and one of them made the first move. Neither of them could wait to get to Dan’s room and they had the place to themselves, so clothes were removed and things came together. 

Dan was so embarrassed afterward that he said he was going to have to ring his mother for money to buy a new sofa. Then he turned a deep shade of pink when Kyle asked him what he was going to tell his mum when she asked why he needed to buy a new sofa when she knew they had a perfectly nice sofa already. Dan abandoned the idea and decided the solution was thorough cleaning and to never speak of it again. 

Dan handed him a glass that was mostly full and took a full drink of the dark liquid for himself. 

“So your flatmates leave for the night and we are going to celebrate by getting tabled before 11?” Kyle took a small drink and laughed when Dan nodded his head, making his hair bounce and Kyle’s knees a little weak. “Fine by me.” 

“Ian went to stay with family for a few days and Joey actually found a girlfriend.” Dan smiled and took another full drink. Kyle had never seen Dan drink so fast and he was beginning to get suspicious. “Maybe he will stop throwing stuff at us when we are kissing in the kitchen. Toast hurts when it hits you in the eye.” 

“I know, it was my eye he hit.” Kyle took another drink and felt the liquid move through him. He had a long day at work and was happy he had the rest of the night and the full day tomorrow to avoid thinking about anything not related to Dan. 

Dan finished his drink and turned to go back to the kitchen, but Kyle reached for his arm and gently turned him back to him. He didn’t keep pressure on the arm and Dan could easily move away if he needed to. Kyle had been more cautious with Dan since he told him about the prats at school. 

“I was joking about getting drunk before 11.” Kyle said and moved in closer so that he was close to Dan’s face. Dan smelled like alcohol as well. Dan seemed even more on edge than usual. “Tell me.” 

Dan looked down to Kyle’s chest and mumbled something underneath his breath, with Kyle only hearing “did something before.” 

Sitting their glasses down on the table, Kyle used both of his hands to cup Dan’s jaw and hold his head up. Dan’s eyes were a bit blown and he looked nervous. “What has gotten you so panicked?” 

Dan’s head was being held in place, but he shied his eyes away to focus on something behind Kyle’s head. “We are alone tonight.” 

“We have been alone before.” Kyle smiled and kissed Dan’s lips to try and get his attention back on him. “Never had to drink your weight in alcohol before to spend time with me.” 

Dan’s eyes closed briefly at the contact and then moved to look at Kyle’s eyes. They were large and Dan took some time to answer him. “Did something before you came.” 

“Oh, yeah?” Kyle smiled at his blush, damn he was so far gone for this man. The last surprise Dan had for him was Kyle walking in on Dan laid on the bed in Kyle’s boxer briefs. The ones that were a bit too tight on Dan and showed off everything. Kyle liked Dan’s surprises. “What did you do, Pinky?” 

“I can’t tell you.” Dan leaned in closer and rested his head on Kyle’s, likely trying to avoid the awkwardness of saying the next part out loud. “I can show you though if you give me your hand.” 

Kyle’s mind was going a million different directions but he finally lowered his hand away from Dan’s face and held it out for Dan to take in his own. 

Dan held Kyle’s hand and started them in the direction of his bedroom. Okay, the surprise included the bedroom. Wicked. 

The room looked the same as when Kyle had seen it last. Nothing seemed out of place or new when he gave the room a quick scan. 

“What are you showing me? I guess I’m a bit dense because I don’t see anything.” Kyle used their hands to pull Dan closer to him. Dan moved in closer but kept his eyes down. 

“I’m not done yet.” Dan moved them so they were near the bed and pushed Kyle down so he was sat on the bed. Dan stayed stood to remove his shirt and then jeans, his hands trembling a bit and his eyes still on the floor. “Get undressed.” 

Kyle had his clothes off and himself lying on the bed in under fifteen seconds. A surprise that included a bed and nudity was the best kind of surprise. Dan removed his pants and joined Kyle on the bed, lying on his side and close to Kyle. 

“I need your hand.” Dan waited for Kyle to give him the hand back and then moved it around him. 

Dan’s skin was warm and his bum was firm underneath Kyle’s hand. He loved Dan’s bum and smiled wondering why Dan was being so weird about Kyle touching him. That was until Dan moved Kyle’s hand in between his cheeks and Kyle felt the wetness in the middle. 

“Fuck.” Kyle moaned as he moved two fingers inside the wetness and he felt Dan clench around him. He was loose and had obviously prepared himself before Kyle had arrived. The image of Dan moving his fingers inside himself made his dick twitch. “I’m so glad you showed me.” 

“I thought maybe we could…” Dan pressed against Kyle’s thigh and then back into Kyle’s fingers. “I mean, if you want…” 

“Yes.” Kyle kept his fingers inside Dan and kissed him. Kyle was grateful for the drink he had before because there was a lot happening all at once and the alcohol helped ease some of his senses. 

Dan was clenching around his fingers and moving his thigh up to brush along Kyle’s dick, and making those breathy moans into Kyle’s mouth. Kyle’s brain must have gone offline for a few minutes because somehow Dan had put a condom on him. Dan’s hand was now moving up and down his length, coating it in lube. 

Dan moved on his back and Kyle found his eyes right before he pressed into him. Dan didn’t like to lie on his back with Kyle on top of him in the beginning, but two weeks ago Dan started to allow it. Which Kyle was grateful for because it made moving inside Dan that much easier. 

Dan’s thighs were squeezing around his hips and Kyle was sinking all the way in, with little resistance. Fuck, he was warm and tight and it felt more than amazing. Kyle took a few longer breaths and asked with little air if Dan was okay. 

“I like it.” Dan breathed into Kyle’s ear and raised his hips up, squeezing around him. “I like that it is you.” 

Kyle moaned at Dan’s words and remembered the last time they were naked in a bed together, only Dan had been inside him. It was the second time that Kyle had bottomed for him and Dan was much more confident than the first time. However, like the first time, he didn’t want to be on top and Kyle asked him why. Dan said he was afraid he would crush him because he was so thin and they compromised by both of them lying on their sides. 

“You are amazing.” Kyle moved his hips back and then slowly sank back in again. He could live here forever if allowed. Kissing along Dan’s jaw, he let out a loud noise as Dan pressed back against him and squeezed as Kyle moved back out again. “I love you.” 

“I know.” Dan found Kyle’s lips and kissed him, with his hand gripping Kyle’s upper back with force. Dan liked to hold him close when they moved together, but now it felt like he was trying to keep him from moving away. 

Dan came first, one hand wrapped around himself and the other leaving a bruise on Kyle’s shoulder. Kyle only needed a few more thrusts and he joined him, his arms giving out and lying completely flat on top of Dan. 

His heart was still racing and he could feel Dan’s heart underneath him moving just as strong. The warm feeling was spreading through his body and decided he was going to allow the feeling to last as long as possible. 

Dan was kissing at his shoulder and then neck, the pressure of his lips faint and loving more than eager and needy. 

They stayed wrapped up in one another even after Kyle softened and removed himself from Dan, with Dan’s thighs still holding Kyle in place on top of him. 

“Are you okay?” Kyle finally remembered to ask as he heard Dan groan as he moved his legs back down. 

“Better.” Dan smiled at him and kissed him. “I loved that. I love you. Thank you for loving me.” 

“Trust me, it is not a burden.” Kyle kissed Dan again and then once more before peeling himself away. “We need to shower.” 

“Nobody's home.” Dan reminded Kyle again and Kyle realized that they could have a naked walk to and from the shower. 

“You are so right.” Kyle moved off the bed and threw away the condom before offering his hand to Dan to help him up. “Shall we?” 

“We shall.” Dan laughed and took Kyle’s hand. He grimaced a bit when he stood but he swatted away Kyle’s concern and told him that a warm shower sounded amazing. 

The shower was amazing and afterward Dan talked Kyle into wearing clothes to answer the door and pay the pizza man. 

They stayed dressed as they ate, despite Kyle’s protest. Dan convinced him by telling him that they had just showered and it wouldn’t do well if they had pizza sauce in their pubic hair. Kyle made a joke about using his mouth to clean it off and Dan laughed so hard that he had to set down his pizza so he wouldn’t drop it. 

By the time they were done eating, it was late and both of them were tired. 

“Want to do it again?” Dan asked when they were both in bed for the night. Kyle had his arm wrapped around Dan’s stomach and his chest to Dan’s back. 

“Thought you were tired.” Kyle kissed Dan’s bare shoulder and allowed his hand to move down further to find Dan was already hard. 

“I was, but then I felt you pressed up against me and I don’t believe you are too tired.” Dan moved his hips back into Kyle’s hard cock and let out one of those breathy sounds. “See, someone’s awake.” 

The second time Kyle pressed into Dan from behind and he hit Dan’s spot right away, with Dan moaning out his name. They couldn’t be bothered with showers, instead deciding to stay wrapped up in one another and deal with the rest in the morning. 

“No.” Kyle shook his head and took a step back, his voice elevated. “Not going to happen. Pick something else.” 

“There isn’t much more to pick from, unless you want some children’s cartoon.” Dan gestured to the film listings in front of them. There was a new horror film out, but Kyle was protesting. 

They had a lie in the next day and woke to decide what their day would look like. Breakfast was made and eaten quickly, with the pair spending too much time in the shower before deciding on going out. 

They had yet to have a proper date and Kyle insisted that a day date was the best kind of date. 

After walking around the town for a bit, it started to rain and Dan suggested the cinema. Kyle agreed figuring there would be some good romantic comedies to half watch while they kissed in the back row. That was until Dan saw the poster for the horror film and decided that was the proper day date film to watch. 

“Can’t we just pick something boring and spend the time getting to know one another in the back row?” Kyle tried again, this time stepping into Dan’s personal space and giving his a suggestive smile. “Dark theater and active imagination.” 

“Fucking queers need to learn to stay at home.” A man said as he walked past them. “People don’t need to see that.” 

The smile on Dan’s face completely fell and he stepped away from Kyle and turned to walk toward the exits. “Let’s go.” 

“No.” Kyle decided not to reach for his arm but moved quicker and stood in front of him, blocking his way to the door. “Fuck him. We have every right to be here. He can leave if he doesn’t like it.” 

Dan shook his head and walked around Kyle, pulling the hood of his sweatshirt over his hair before he walked into the rain. Kyle followed him and covered his head with the hood of his jacket. 

They walked silently in the rain until they reached Dan’s flat. Dan stood near the door and finally looked in Kyle’s direction. “Sorry.” 

“Nah, I get it.” Kyle started up the steps. “Come on, there is leftover pizza and a DVD calling our name.” 

Halfway into the DVD, Dan paused it and sat up from his spot lying on Kyle’s chest. “Does that happen to you?” 

“No, I have never had a woman give me her pants to show the whole school.” Kyle shifted a bit on the sofa and then rested his hand on Dan’s arm. “Probably would have been a hero if that happened at my school.” 

“What happened with that man earlier...does that happen to you?” Dan asked with a serious tone. His brow had the furrow and he seemed upset. 

“Sometimes. There are a lot of narrow minded people in the world that seem to think they need to spread their hate with others.” Kyle ran his hand up Dan’s arm and then around his shoulder to pull him back to him. “I’m cold. Come back.” 

Dan returned to his position on top of Kyle yet did not start the film. Lying there in silence, Kyle wondered if Dan was falling asleep on him. 

“You alright there, Pinky?” Kyle figured he would give Dan an opportunity to talk this through. “Thoughts you want to share?” 

“It is just so stupid.” Dan turned so the back of his head was on Kyle’s chest and he was facing the ceiling. “If one of us were female, he wouldn’t have said anything. Why does he have the right to say anything about us? We weren’t even doing anything...I mean, standing close but nothing to make a comment about.” 

“Some people are stupid.” Kyle said simply. He had a few experiences with narrow minded people when he went out with males. Nothing that was too alarming but, like earlier, comments made in passing. 

“I’ve never...I mean, not when it was actually true.” Dan looked up over his shoulder to find Kyle’s face. “Doesn’t it upset you?” 

“Yes and no.” Kyle found Dan’s eyes and answered. “I guess I don’t really mind what they have to say if they believe going out of their way to express their opinion about me is going to have any impact on my life. There was a period where I wasn’t quite sure what it meant that I liked both males and females, but I know what I like now and some idiot isn’t going to make me change my mind. Or make me feel bad about myself. Or bad that I can fall in love with a man. It is their problem, not mine.” 

Dan turned his eyes back to the ceiling and appeared to be thinking about what Kyle had to say. After some time, Dan said, “I don’t know if I’m quite there yet. I mind what he said.” 

“That is fine.” Kyle wrapped his arms around Dan’s shoulders and rested his hands on Dan’s chest. “You can feel any way you want about it. But, it doesn’t change what we have. It doesn’t change that I love you and think you are amazing.” 

Dan started the DVD again and turned to face the telly, but when Kyle glanced down at him, he didn’t seem to be paying much attention to the story line. 

Leaning down to kiss the top of Dan’s head, Kyle wrapped his hands tighter around Dan and then went back to watching the film. 

Lazy days alone were the best. No idiot was going to ruin his time with Dan.


	13. ורוד

Kyle and Dan went together to the pub to meet Woody and Will. Dan decided that it was time to get to know one another better if they were going to make a go of this. Playing together was one thing but their personalities needed to work together as well.

Dan reached for Kyle's hand after they left the Tube and Kyle figured that was his in to ask the question of whether they were going to be open with Woody and Will.

"So." Kyle raised their joint hands as they walked down the pavement. Dan's eyes jerked quickly towards Kyle and then stayed there. His eyes had been staying on him longer and longer and Kyle loved it. "Do they know? Did you tell them?"

Dan shook his head no and looked like he did something wrong. His brow furrowing and his lips turning into a slight frown.

"That's fine." Kyle gave him a large smile and felt his face protest. He had been smiling more lately and his face was feeling the effects of being so happy. "I was just wondering. Do we tell them or is that odd?"

"Literally never had this issue before." Dan shrugged his shoulders and Kyle moved them both out of the way of a lamp post that they were going to run into. Stopping them near a brick wall of a business. "What have you done?"

"Honestly, never had this before neither. I would just show up with someone and eventually kiss them or get close and my mates just knew." Kyle stepped further into Dan's space and turned his back to the world, blocking the view of others around them. "First time with a man was a bit scary with old mates but no one ever said anything negative. At least when they weren't taking the piss out of me."

"We should just tell them. I don't want you kissing me." Dan's eyes went wide and Kyle knew his brain went back to the cinema and the ignorant man that made the comment.

"Now it comes out!" Kyle exaggerated his voice and tried to lighten the mood. "Maybe I don't want to kiss you neither. Nah, that is a lie. I love kissing you. You are going to have to hold me back. Might just go mental and snog your face off."

"Fuck off, you know I love that." Dan swatted at Kyle's chest and smiled at him. "Just not in there. Too many drunks with loose lips. We tell them. Maybe not right away, but work it in."

"Sounds good." Kyle winked at Dan and Dan gave him an anxious smile. Taking his hand once more, they went the rest of the way down the pavement to the pub. Only dropping their hands when entering the darkened room.

Both Woody and Will were there and sitting at a tall table with drinks in front of them.

"There they are! Come together now?" Woody waved in their direction and greeted them as they came closer.

Dan sat down first, taking off his hood and attempting to fix his hair while Kyle took his seat.

"We actually live near one another." Kyle answered with a vague statement that didn't say too much yet didn't deny that they had came together. From Kyle's flat to be precise and after a shared showered to wash away their activities. "Started without us, I see then."

"Drinks are cheap here. Nice on the budget." Will added in and looked toward Dan. "You alright there, mate? You look like a ghost walked over your grave."

Kyle followed Dan's eyes and found they were on someone across the pub. There a few tables over was Sarah hanging off a man's arm. Her attention was on the man and she did not seem to have noticed them. At least not yet.

"She is a looker." Will asked after an awkward silence with everyone looking in Sarah's direction yet no one speaking. "Old girlfriend?"

"No. Definitely not one of those." Kyle answered although the question was directed at Dan. Dan was still staring at her and Kyle knew he needed to get his attention off her before she sensed someone was watching her. Resting his hand on Dan's shoulder, Kyle attempted to steer the conversation to the video Dan was working on at Kyle's flat. "Dan, tell 'em about the video idea and the name." 

Dan's eyes went to Kyle and then his hand on his shoulder before he appeared to remember that Will and Woody were sat with them. 

"Bastille. And it will be pieces of various scenes set to our music." Dan's eyes were wide and he seemed like he was trying to hold himself together, his eyes on his hands on the table. "I'll upload it and then we can share it. Start building our name." 

"Sounds wicked." Woody's eyes were on Dan's hands and how he appeared to be gripping the table. "You sure you are alright there?" 

And because the universe was a wonderful thing, Kyle heard from over his shoulder, "Kylie and Daniel!" 

Turning himself toward Sarah, Kyle found that she was without the man she had been near. Her smile was warm but Kyle didn't trust it. The last time they had spoke it was tense and there had been no contact since then. 

"Sarah." Kyle nodded in her direction and followed her eyes to Kyle's hand on Dan's shoulder. He thought he had removed it but there it was, anchoring Dan to his spot. "Didn't know that you came here. Bit out of your way, innit?" 

"Meeting someone here." Sarah gestured over her shoulder in no particular direction. Her attention switched back to Dan and she gave him a smile although Dan's attention was still on the table. "A bit rude to watch the table when someone is talking to you, don't you think?" 

"Hello, Sarah." Dan looked up briefly and shrugged off Kyle's hand. His eyes stayed looking down and away from her.

"I'll introduce myself. Hello, gentleman. Name is Sarah." Sarah smiled toward Will and then Woody. "I don't believe I have ever seen you with these lot before. I thought I knew all of their mates." 

"Woody." Woody nodded in Sarah's direction and raised his hand toward Will. "Will. We are in their band." 

"Fuck, that is a thing?" Sarah laughed and turned her attention back to Dan. "How are you going to manage that?" 

"Enough." Kyle stood in between Dan and Sarah. "You had your fun. Now go back to your date." 

"Always a pleasure, Kylie." Sarah smirked at Kyle and ran her hand down his arm. "I'll leave you to your date. Bye, Dan." 

Sarah walked away and Kyle turned back to the group. Dan's eyes were on the table and both Woody's and Will's were on Sarah's retreating form. 

"She seems...nice." Will said as he took a sip of his drink. "Not a girlfriend, eh? She know that?" 

"Sarah is...I don't know quite how to say it without sounding like a massive dick." Kyle sat in the chair next to Dan and watched him out of the corner of his eye. "She is a bit obsessed with me. Or was. She likes to stir up drama." 

"Seems like she still fancies you." Woody laughed as he looked over Kyle's shoulder and saw Sarah watching them. "She is talking about you to her date." 

"Doesn't matter." Kyle rested his hand on Dan's arm and looked at him waiting for him to look up at him. It didn't happen and Dan looked miserable. "Come on, don't let her ruin our night out." 

Dan nodded his head but kept his eyes down on the table. Fucking Sarah and her poison. 

"Anyway, the video is amazing and goes well with the song. Dan figures we build up our online presence a bit and then use it to book gigs around here. He spoke with Ralph about it. Right, you don't know Ralph. He is our mate and he has a band. Great guy. You should meet him." Kyle rambled on and hoped that Dan would say something to add to the conversation. "Right, Dan? Ralph and his band?" 

"Yeah." Dan nodded his head and looked around everyone briefly before standing. "I'm going to the toilet." 

"He is chatty tonight." Will said after Dan had left the table. 

"Sarah isn't very kind to Dan." Kyle offered with little explanation, adding anything more would tell them more than Dan might want them to know at the moment.

The conversation switched to the places everyone hoped to go if they did a tour, with everyone offering small pubs in the area and near their home towns. 

"It is a ways, but I'm telling you, it is worth it. Plymouth is a great little spot for music." Woody finished his beer. "Muse's hometown, don't you know?" 

"Yes, like you know them." Will laughed and then titled his head in the direction of the loo. "Dan seems to be mending things with Sarah from the looks of it." 

Kyle quickly turned his head and found Dan and Sarah standing near one another. Dan was talking to her and he seemed upset. Sarah responded back and Dan quickly left her, his eyes on his shoes. 

Dan stopped when he reached the table, but he didn't sit down. Instead, he hovered near the back of his chair and was breathing heavier than usual. 

"What did she say?" Kyle reached for Dan's arm but Dan pulled it away before he could make contact with him. "Dan, what did she say?" 

"Doesn't matter." Dan shook his head and wrapped his arms around his waist. 

"She is just trying-" Kyle started but was cut off as Sarah came near their table. 

"Didn't tell Dan about September, did you?" Sarah's voice was dripping with smugness and she seemed pleased with herself. "Why I figured that would be something you would share with him? Since you were together then and everything." 

"What about September?" Kyle asked confused. Nothing had happened in September outside of both of them meeting on the street near Kyle's flat. Sarah had been very open with wanting to sleep with him and he had been very open with turning her down. Dan wasn't talking to him at the time, but he wasn't going to chance anything with their new relationship. There really wasn't even a label on it yet. "Nothing happened in September." 

"Not from what I remember. A little grope on the street and a promise to take it further." Sarah stepped in closer and whispered into Kyle's ear. "You were hard and you wanted me." 

"I turned you down!" Kyle moved his head away from her and found Dan getting redder as his arms tightened around him. "Sarah, this is insane. What are you doing?" 

"Telling him the truth." Sarah's eyes latched onto Kyle's. "That this is only a phase and you will go back to wanting to be with a woman again." 

"You are insane." Kyle said in a low voice. "You have no idea what you are saying. I'm in love with him. True love. Doesn't matter that he is a man. It isn't a phase. I won't wake up one morning and think, 'okay that was nice, now let's see what Sarah is up to.'" 

"Not cool, Sarah." Will deadpanned. "Love is love." 

"You best leave." Woody followed up. "We don't need your kind ruining our night." 

Sarah huffed out an answer and left them. Her hair flowing behind her in her wake.

"Sad to see her go." Will said with a dry tone. 

Kyle looked at both Woody and Will before moving closer to Dan. He didn't touch him because he still seemed upset, but he was glad that neither Woody or Will seemed to have a problem with Sarah implying they were together. 

After a few more seconds, Dan sat back in his chair and looked toward Kyle. His eyes were pleading with him to say something. 

"Dan and I are together. Like, properly together. Is that going to be a problem?" Kyle asked as Dan's eyes stayed on him. 

"Yes." Woody answered looking at Dan. There was a full awkward 30 seconds before Woody continued while pointing toward Will. "Why do you get the pretty one and I'm left with Will?" 

"Oi!" Will said with fake annoyance and threw his hand over his shoulder like he was tossing his hair. "I'm a treat. My mum always said so." 

Dan laughed at their exchange and smiled biting inside his lip. Putting his head in his hands, Dan leaned his head toward Kyle and rested it on Kyle's upper arm. Kyle in turned wrapped his arm around Dan's shoulders and held him there. The plaster was ripped off and there was no blood. 

The next night, following work, Kyle went to Dan's flat and entered without knocking. It was a new thing they were doing. If the other knew they were coming, they told the other just to come in. Kyle liked it. It felt like another layer to their developing relationship. 

Waving at Joey sat on the sofa, Kyle followed the path back to Dan's room and opened the door with a large smile. Work had dragged and he was looking forward to seeing Dan all day. 

"Hiya, Kyle." Ralph looked toward the door as it was opened and smiled at Kyle. "Dan finished the video and wanted to show me. He is fucking brilliant." 

"Fuck off." Dan blushed and pushed Ralph's upper arm making him move back a bit before settling back into the space next to Dan on his bed. Dan was giving Ralph a teasing look and Kyle hated it. 

Kyle knew Dan and Ralph were mates and nothing more, but that was his spot next to Dan and that was the bed they did many things together on. It made his stomach start to knot and twist. 

Walking further into the room, Kyle leaned down to wrap his arm around Dan's shoulder and kiss the top of his head. He wanted to call him Pinky but he also liked that was something only between them. "You are brilliant." 

"Dan told me that you two are getting on well. Well, he didn't really tell me as I had to pry it out of him." Ralph laughed and focused on Kyle. "I'm chuffed for you. He needs this." 

"Stop it." Dan leaned into Kyle's hip, as Kyle kept his arm around Dan. He felt like he needed to show his dominance over Ralph and held him tighter. "Don't talk like I'm not here. I am not five." 

"Just showing my appreciation for Kyle and how he is allowing you to open up that shell you have around you." Ralph's tone switched to a serious one and he waited for Dan to look at him before he continued. "Kyle is good for you. I can see it already. And this band, it's going to be huge." 

"Might get to open for you one day." Dan said back and shut his laptop and moved it behind him on the bed to stand. Having both Ralph and Kyle hovering on him was likely putting him on edge. Especially around these topics. Dan stood near the window and looked back at both of them, but not really either of them. "Warm up the crowd for you." 

"More like we will open for you." Ralph said as he stood. He hugged Dan and then Kyle. "Off I go. Misses wants to go out tonight. Enjoy this new part of a relationship. It fades." 

Once Ralph was gone and the door was shut, Dan walked toward Kyle and simply fell into him. Kyle had to ground his feet to keep them from falling back as Dan pressed his weight against him. 

"I missed you." Kyle whispered into Dan's ear even though they were the only ones in the room. It felt more intimate that way. And he was able to take in a better smell of the soap Dan had used. A soap that Kyle found he was smelling like as well given all the time and showers they had together. "Couldn't wait to get back here." 

"I love you." Dan wrapped his arms tighter around Kyle's waist and stood to his full height to press Kyle against him. Soon there were lips on Kyle's throat and he raised his head to allow better access. 

"Good thing." Kyle moaned as Dan found the spot right underneath his ear. It was permanently red and bruised because Dan like to suck on it whenever he got the chance. And no matter how much Kyle was teased for it, he wasn't going to deny Dan access because he loved it too. 

Pulling Dan's shirt from behind, Dan stood back to allow Kyle to remove the shirt and then Dan's lips were on his and he was making needy sounds that sent signals straight to Kyle's dick. They had gotten very good at this, moving their bodies together and making the other want it even more. 

Soon Kyle's shirt was lying on the floor near Dan's and both of them were on the bed. Dan was on top and pressing his hips into Kyle's while Kyle opened his legs and wrapped them around Dan's thighs. They both still had jeans on but it was nice to have the extra friction on them. 

Kyle raised his head to get Dan's lips back on his and moved his hands down Dan's back to go underneath Dan's jeans and pull Dan closer to him. Dan was already hard against him and the added pressure was amazing. This was what he wanted all day and he was going to savour being near Dan once more. 

Once both of their pants were off, Dan looked at Kyle and silently asked his permission before reaching for the lube and pressing his fingers inside of him. Dan had shyly whispered that he loved having his fingers inside of Kyle a few nights ago and ever since then Kyle found most of their fooling around included being fingered by Dan. It didn't always lead to Dan topping him, as both liked to take that role. 

Kyle felt Dan's fingers expertly find what he was looking for and press against the raised bump. Shamelessly Kyle opened his legs more and pressed up against Dan's fingers. Dan had kissed down his stomach and was now starting to mouth at his erection. Dan had gotten good at that too. Kyle liked to be teased a bit there, with Dan gently mouthing at him until he started to whine and then Dan would take him fully in his mouth. It was a wicked way to come but Kyle didn't want that right now. 

Running his fingers through Dan's hair, Kyle look a moment to admire Dan in between his legs and then said his name. 

Fuck, Dan's eyes were blown wide and his lips were puffy from his work. He had a somewhat worried look on his face and Kyle broke the moment to ease his mind. 

"Come up here." Kyle smiled and pulled at Dan with both of his hands. Once Dan was settled on his chest and his face was near Kyle's, Kyle gave him a quick kiss. "I love when you get into that. You are really good at that." 

"Why did you stop me?" Dan asked while searching Kyle's face for answers. A few weeks ago, Dan wouldn't have been able to ask him that question and he wouldn't have been able to make eye contact with him. "If you like it so much?"

"I want to try something." Kyle kissed Dan's nose and hoped he would relax soon. "Are you clean down there?" 

Dan nodded his head shyly and there was that blush. 

"Okay. Lay back for me." Kyle gave him one more kiss before they switched positions and Kyle was over Dan on the bed. Dan was giving him a questioning look but he appeared willing to allow Kyle to do whatever he wanted to do to him. He was proud that they had gotten to this part of trust in their sexual relationship. "I'm going to kiss you." 

Dan leaned his head forward but Kyle moved away from him and kissed down Dan's stomach. Giving Dan's dick some attention, Kyle opened Dan's legs a bit more and smiled hearing Dan's response. He loved the control he felt when he did this. Dan was responding to his mouth and getting fuller. Kyle almost wanted to stay where he was and allow Dan to come off his mouth, but he wanted to add something else to their time together. 

Kissing Dan's balls and then the sensitive skin underneath them, Kyle continued working his way back to the puckered flesh. Giving it a tentative lick, Kyle grinned as Dan bucked his hips up and made a loud sound. 

Getting the response he had wanted, Kyle went back with a longer lick and Dan's thighs squeezed around his face. Pushing them back with his hands, Kyle continued to kiss around the flesh and, when it was relaxed enough, he pressed his tongue inside and felt Dan shudder on the bed. 

"Kyle." Dan's voice was strained and he had his hands reaching for Kyle's hair. Pulling at his hair, Dan moved Kyle back to his mouth and gave him a messy kiss. "Inside me. Please." 

Kyle found the lube and a condom and sunk into Dan slow. Dan was grabbing for him and his thighs were squeezing around his hips, and they found the wonderful rhythm of being together. 

Kyle laid with his head on Dan's chest afterward. Dan's hand was absentmindedly playing with his hair and Kyle was seconds from falling asleep. Now did his life get so good? What did he do to deserve this? 

Dan was singing something underneath his breath and Kyle felt himself slipping into sleep at the sound of his voice and the vibration underneath his head.


	14. In jou noppies

"There you are!" Kyle put away his phone when Dan answered the door to his parents' house. Kyle had been texting him since this afternoon, but then the messages just stopped. There was no answer when Kyle attempted to ring him. "I thought...I don't know what I thought, but I didn't like it." 

Dan stepped in closer and pulled Kyle in as he quickly shut the door. Soon afterward, Kyle had a Dan attachment surrounding him and Kyle smiled into Dan's neck as they held one another. There were many amazing moments that they shared, but "coming home" to Dan was becoming one of his favourites. 

"Sorry. My battery is drained and I though there was a charger here, but there are none that fit my phone. I was tempted to go back home and get it, but then I figured something dumb would happen and I would not be here when everyone arrived. And then I thought maybe I could look in my parents' room. But, I did that once and it wasn't something I ever needed to see." Dan hugged him tighter and then took his hand as he moved them into his old room. "Not making that mistake again." 

"Oh, do share." Kyle giggled as he followed behind Dan and almost choked on how ridiculous he sounded. Fuck it, he thought. He was in love and he could act foolish around Dan. "I walked in on my parents being way too friendly with one another when I was an early teen. I still have flashbacks." 

"I can't." Dan shook his head and covered his face with his free hand as they entered his room. "Cannot process that again. Best leave it for later." 

"Did you get Woody's text before your battery drained?" Kyle asked moving Dan's hand down from his face and smiling at him. Damn, his eyes were blue. And the best part, they were looking right into his own. "Said he would be late tonight." 

"No." Dan's smile increased as Kyle moved in closer and studied his face. "What?" 

"Nothing. I just like looking at you." Kyle narrowed the space between him and gave him a sweet kiss that lingered. 

Kyle felt Dan's hands at his waist and then a noise behind them. Kyle wanted to ignore it, but Dan pulled away quickly and put space between them. 

Kyle followed Dan's eyes to the doorway and found no one there. 

"Are your parents home?" Kyle asked looking back toward Dan. He looked a bit spooked standing in the middle of the room. 

"No one is home." Dan shook his head and he turned to face Kyle. "Do you think Will would walk right in? He wouldn't. Would he?" 

"That would be something awkward I could see him doing." Kyle grinned as he stepped closer but then dropped his smile when Dan took a step away from him. "Or maybe a person that comes to tidy up?" 

"She comes on Mondays." Dan wrapped his arms around his waist and moved toward the doorway. "I don't believe it was Will either. He would have said something stupid about us being alone in here." 

Kyle chose to ignore the fact that Dan's parents had help and watched as Dan became more paranoid. Kyle had seen Dan get stuck in his head before, but this was different. There might actually be someone in the house. And not that he believed in evil spirits, but the horror film Dan had him watch the other night started with an odd noise that couldn't be explained and Kyle's brain was trying to remember how the characters defeated the evil spirits in the film. It didn't help that he spent most of the later half of the film hid underneath the blanket Dan and he were sharing. 

"You said your phone was drained, maybe your parents came home?" Kyle hated how his voice shook a bit at the end. Damn horror films. There was a reason why he stayed with the Disney films. The good guy always won in the end. Kyle was fairly sure most of the people in Dan's film did not make it to the end. "Or it is Will?" 

"I'm going to see if there is anyone home." Dan said after a long pause. He seemed like he was attempting to be brave and Kyle loved him for it. He also was not letting him leave the room without him. Half because he was worried about him and half because he didn't want to be alone in the room. 

"I'm coming with you." Kyle watched as Dan looked over his shoulder at him and silently nodded. Kyle could do this. It was just a stupid noise. It was an older building. And there was the potential for other people to be there. It was Dan's parents' place, maybe there was someone else meant to be there and they were freaked out over hearing Dan and Kyle in the room. See, there were many more logical explanations than the horror film plots in Kyle's head. "And not just because I'm afraid to stay in here alone." 

The pair walked slowly down the hallway and into the lounge without seeing anyone. Or thing. 

By the time they reached the dinning room, they heard another noise and it was coming from the kitchen. Maybe the evil spirit was hungry? 

Nah, they feed off human souls. 

Kyle was never watching another horror film again. It didn't matter how cute Dan was when he asked, Kyle would stand his ground. 

Before Kyle would reason with Dan, he opened the swinging door to the kitchen and both of them froze. 

There was a man in the kitchen. 

A tall man that had Dan's eyes and his facial structure. 

A man that was making a cup of tea and seemed a bit taken aback by the interruption. 

"Tea anyone?" Dan's father asked as Kyle slowly let out the breath he had been holding. They were not going to be murdered or possessed. 

Kyle waited for Dan to answer, but he appeared still in a panicked state so he answered for them. "That would be nice. Thank you." 

Dan's father opened a cupboard and took out two more mugs. After placing them on the island in the middle of the kitchen and opening the tea box, Dan's father looked up and gestured toward the tea. "I know what Dan likes, but I don't believe we have met." 

"Kyle." Kyle walked further into the kitchen and around Dan to stand in front of Dan's father. Holding out his hand, he repeated his name. "Kyle. I'm in Dan's band." 

"Nice to meet you, Kyle Kyle." Dan's father smiled and Kyle saw an older version of Dan looking at him. He ignored the thought of thinking he was fit for an older man and tried to remember what the man asked him. 

"What did you say?" Kyle felt his skin blush and he wondered if this is what Dan feels like when his cheeks turn pink. Meeting Dan's mum had been so much easier. Probably because it wasn't like he was talking to someone that looked so much like Dan. "Sorry, I blanked for a second." 

"I asked what you do in the band. Dan still will not allow us to know anything about it." Dan's father smiled over Kyle's shoulder at Dan stood behind him. 

Kyle went into a boring explanation of how he plays the keyboard and will help Dan once they start playing live. As he spoke, he looked between Dan and his father. His father was watching Dan and Dan's eyes were on the floor. It didn't help Kyle stop rambling, so he decided to leave the room instead. Giving Dan a quick smile, he opened the swinging door and rested his back against the solid wall next to it. 

From his spot, Kyle could hear the conversation in the other room. 

"He seems like a nice lad." The deep voice of Dan's father spoke first. "A bit awkward, maybe. But, aren't we all?" 

Dan either did not respond to the statement or he said it too quietly for Kyle to hear. He did hear Dan tell his father about hearing a noise near his room. 

"I walked by your room." Dan's father answered and then there was silence. 

Did he see them? Kyle wondered if he had. If he did, he didn't appear bothered by it. 

Dan still had not told his father about them. Much to the dismay of Dan's mum and Kyle himself. Probably more so for Dan's mum since she lived with him and had once told Dan that she respected why he was nervous, but that there was no need to worry. 

"Was Corey right?" Kyle heard Dan's father ask and, even though they were in separate rooms, Kyle could feel the discomfort Dan was experiencing. "Jeffrey told me that Corey was uncomfortable being your mate because you fancied him. I had told Jeffrey at the time that Corey could be so lucky." 

"You really said that to Corey's father?" Dan's voice was getting stronger and more clear. 

"I did. Jeffrey was always a pompous arse." There was a pause and Kyle wondered if he had taken a drink of his tea. "Thought that his family was better than ours. Honestly, I was glad to put some distance between us." 

There was more silence and Kyle wanted to open the door and see what was happening in there. Before he could get the courage to move, he heard Dan. 

"Corey was right. About me. I didn't know it yet. Or I didn't understand it, maybe. Corey was about the same as his father, unfortunately. He turned on me quickly when..." Dan's voice cut off and there was more silence. Maybe Kyle needed to go in there now. 

"Kyle is good to you?" Dan's father appeared concerned. Okay, not time to go in there yet. "He makes you happy?" 

"Yes." Kyle heard the shake in Dan's voice and he knew he must be tearing up. Damn, Kyle was tearing up a bit himself. He knew how much Dan had been catastrophizing this moment with his father and his father was being amazing.

"Good. You deserve a good partner. Someone that is going to love you and support your goals." There was a pause. "That is the most I could hope for for you. And that maybe one day you allow us to hear a song or two? I'm not that scary, am I?" 

"No." Kyle clearly heard the tears in Dan's voice that time and Kyle wiped away a stray tear that was falling down his cheek. 

"Okay, that is settled then." Kyle heard Dan's father laughing. "Think he still wants his tea?" 

A few minutes later, Dan walked through the door with two mugs and a red face. Kyle tried to act like he hadn't been listening, but from where he stood there was only one explanation. Dan gave him an odd look and handed Kyle his mug. Before Kyle could say anything, Will was at the door and he had a story about almost shouting at a man at the store he worked at during the day. 

Woody eventually showed up as well and Dan appeared to be adjusting well to the fact that his father knew Kyle and Dan were together. 

Dan's father waved them all away at the end of the night and Kyle swore Dan's dad winked at him. 

Dan held it together all the way to Kyle's flat before he shut down and fell into Kyle's chest. Dan was full on sobbing within a minute and Kyle had no idea what to do besides hold him. So they stood like that. Both still wearing their winter coats and stood in the middle of Kyle's lounge. As Dan quieted himself, Kyle kissed his forehead and asked if it was time for bed.

They finished their nighttime routine and Kyle laid his head on Dan's chest once they settled into bed. "Your dad is amazing. Mine couldn't handle it at first. I don't think he understood. He is amazing now, but it took him a minute to come 'round to the idea of not just loving someone based on their sex or gender." 

Dan didn't say anything for a few minutes and his hand stilled in Kyle's hair. Kyle thought maybe he fell asleep until he heard. "Makes me feel bad. That he was so amazing and I hid it for so long from him. My mum as well. I punished myself with this for no reason."

"Everybody takes whatever time they need. It doesn't have rules. Only when you are comfortable with it."

"What I would have done to have you a few years ago...Thank you for being...I dunno, you?" 

"I am pretty amazing myself, aren't I?" Kyle joked but stopped laughing when Dan yanked on his hair so he was looking up to Dan's face. "Wha-" 

Kyle was cut off by lips and then hands moving him up so the angle wasn't so harsh on their necks. Kyle loved when Dan took control like this and moaned into the kiss as he felt Dan move against him at this better position. The kiss continued for a few more minutes and they lazily moved against one another. It wasn't leading anywhere, but Kyle loved it all the same.


	15. Vaaleanpunainen

Kyle slowly took his mobile out of his pocket while keeping his eyes on his nan, who was telling a story about his grandfather. Kyle had limited time with his nan now that he was grown, but he had also heard the same story at every family Christmas since he could remember. Kyle gave the phone a quick glance underneath the table and found only the time looking back at him. 

Kyle’s family was sitting to eat and Kyle figured Dan was sat at a similar table. Dan had posted the video for their song a few weeks ago and it was slowly growing in views. Soon it should reach a 1,000 and Kyle knew that Dan was anxiously waiting for the milestone. 

Dan had texted him earlier with the news and Kyle felt his chest drop into his stomach at how much he missed him. They had been apart for almost two days due to family obligations and Kyle was almost ready to break his promise to Dan and show up at his parents’ front door. 

In the past few months the band had grown closer together and, in Kyle’s humble opinion, sounded good. Dan had even agreed to book some tour dates in the new year. 

And in the past few months, Kyle and Dan had become almost inseparable. For the last two weeks, they had practically been living together in Kyle’s flat since his flatmate went to stay with his family for the holiday. Both of their work schedules had lessened due to the end of the year and it was nice to have Dan all to himself. 

“Kyle, love,” His nan smiled at him and he saw even more wrinkles around her eyes since the last time he had seen her. “When will I meet this man that has captured your attention away from my story? Your mum says that he is quite sweet on you.” 

“He is with his family.” Kyle gave her a sad smile and put his mobile away. Kyle had “came out” to his family a few years ago and he was grateful that everyone accepted him. His grandfather told him he didn’t understand how Kyle could like both men and women, but he hoped that Kyle would find someone to love at least half as much as he loved his wife. Because if Kyle did, he would have a happy life. 

Dan refused to entertain the idea of meeting Kyle’s extended family during the holiday season. In fact, it was the center of their first proper argument. Kyle had attempted to reason that Dan could meet them without his own family finding out and the meeting could be quick, as to not interfere with Dan’s family time. Dan shook his head at the idea and laughed it off as ridiculous. Kyle took offense to the idea that wanting to share Dan with his extended family was ridiculous and might have mentioned that Dan was just being paranoid because he was not out to his own extended family. 

Dan’s face turned a deep shade of red and he locked himself in the bath for close to three hours before he finally opened the door to Kyle’s pleads. Kyle apologized for being insensitive to Dan’s fears of how his grandparents would handle the news. Kyle knew as soon as he said it that it was a dick move to criticize someone for not being comfortable sharing information about themselves with their family. Dan accepted his apology and told Kyle that it was something that he would work on, but he just was not ready to potentially loose the love of his grandparents. Especially since he was already anxious enough about sharing his music with his extended family as a Christmas present. 

“Your mum said he is in your band?” His grandfather smiled at Kyle as he took his wife’s hand on the dinner table. Kyle was used to his grandparents sharing their love with everyone around them, but since he was missing Dan, it made the gesture that much sweeter to witness. “Said you would go on tour?” 

Kyle spent the rest of the evening socializing with his family and eating too much food. As he was helping his mum clear the dinner table, he felt the buzz of his mobile in his pocket and quickly gathered as much as he could. Rushing to the kitchen, he set down the dishes and gave his mum a kiss on the cheek saying he would help wash up after tomorrow’s dinner. Kyle’s father’s side of the family was coming for Boxing Day. 

Kissing his nan and grandfather on the cheek, Kyle said his good-byes and made his way down the street. It was cold and he was glad that he had remembered to grab his scarf because the trip to Dan’s parents’ house would be long. 

Kyle was freezing by the time he made it to the iron fence that surrounded Dan’s parents’ house. Dan had texted that his grandparents had retired for the night and that he was sat next to his computer in his childhood room watching the numbers on the video slowly rise. 

Kyle had half the mind to throw a pebble at Dan’s window but he didn’t want to risk disturbing the rest of the house. It was getting late and Kyle was already nervous about breaking his promise to Dan by coming to the house. 

The phone rang twice before Kyle heard Dan’s voice on the other end. 

“Happy Christmas.” There was a smile in his tone that Kyle could pick up anywhere. “You eat your way through the whole Christmas feast?” 

“I ate until my trousers got tight.” Kyle smiled hearing Dan’s voice. “My nan makes the best roast and sweets. I’m surprised my grandfather is not a portly man.” 

“My nan would still win in the competition against nans. I have my portly years to prove it.” Dan’s tone was light and Kyle could tell he was in a good mood. 

“I miss you.” Kyle whined a bit into the phone, resting his weight against the fence and regretting it as the cold iron made him shiver. “Don’t be cross with me.” 

“Why? What did you do? Share the video with your family?” The cheer in Dan’s voice was replaced with nerves. “You didn’t, did you?” 

“No. Though I think my grandparents are going to come to one of our gigs.” Kyle laughed at the image of his sweet, elderly grandparents watching the band in the likely toilet venues they would be allowed to play at while on tour. 

“They might be the only ones that will be there.” 

“We don’t know that. What is the number at?” 

“Nine hundred and eighty three.” 

“Unbelievable.” 

“Tell me about it!” Dan laughed and then quickly quieted. “You avoided why I’m going to be cross with you.” 

“Look out your window.” Kyle felt the heavy feeling return to his stomach. He really hoped Dan would be excited to see him and it wouldn’t turn into their second argument. 

“I told you no presents. We don’t-” Dan’s voice cut off as Kyle saw Dan step into view of his window. 

“I tried but I couldn’t stay away.” Kyle couldn’t see Dan’s face from this far away and Dan wasn’t giving him any clues on the phone if he was okay with Kyle being there. “I figured your grandparents were sleeping and I could-.” 

The line dropped as Dan moved out of view. 

Closing his mobile, Kyle swore under his breath at his stupidity. 

There he was stood outside Dan’s parents’ house. Dan had told him he wasn’t ready and they already fought about it. 

“Fuck.” Kyle saw his breath before him as he turned to make his way back to the Tube. Digging his hands further into his coat pockets, Kyle tried to think of what he could do to make it up Dan. 

“Kyle!” 

Turning back toward the voice behind him, Kyle saw Dan running down the street toward him. He had managed to put on a coat and a hat, but he had house shoes on his feet. Thin shoes that were getting more and more wet as he ran to him.

“I’m sorry.” Kyle blurted out as Dan made a full stop with about a metre in between them. “You said you were not ready and I-” 

“You came.” Dan smiled at him. His face was pink, likely from the weather and running, but Kyle liked to think it was also because Kyle was near him. Dan’s hair was peeking out around the edges of his hat and he looked adorable. Dan narrowed the distance between them and Kyle felt Dan’s arms wrap around his back. “I missed you so much.” 

Kyle tightened their embrace and felt the air inside his lungs finally release. The sick feeling in his stomach was replaced with the fluttering of butterflies and he felt content to stand outside in the cold forever if he could just keep feeling this way. 

After what felt like forever, Dan took a small step back and his eyes found Kyle’s. “What took you so long?” 

“I was tryin-” Kyle was cut off by Dan’s mouth on his and he sunk into the kiss. Neither of them paid any mind to the fact that they were stood in the middle of the street. The cold night air wasn’t felt by either of them as the soft kiss lingered. 

Nothing else mattered at the moment. They were near one another and everything felt right again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Deep breath and exhale. 
> 
> Repeat. 
> 
> Everyone hanging in there? 
> 
> We got this.


	16. Pienk ligrooi

Dan took extra care to walk Kyle through the house and to his room with minimal noise. Before they entered his parents’ house, Dan told Kyle to be quiet and follow him directly to his room. Both sets of grandparents were staying in the house and no one was to know that Kyle was there. 

Kyle, grateful that he was even allowed in the house and not sat on the Tube wondering if he messed up the best part of his life by coming to see Dan when he was specifically told to stay away, followed Dan to his old room as quiet as he had ever been in his life. 

When the bedroom door closed quietly behind them, Kyle wrapped Dan back in his arms and buried his face in Dan’s scent. He smelled like sweets and Christmas, and the best smell of them all, Dan. 

Dan shivered in his embrace and Kyle allowed himself to feel how cold he was as well. Kyle moved his face back to find Dan looking back at him. In the most pathetic, fake voice he could attempt, Kyle whined, “Warm me up? Walked all the way from the Tube in this weather.” 

“I know. My balls are somewhere in my stomach right now.” Dan smiled as he whispered back. Dan’s hands moved to undo Kyle’s scarf and thick jacket. Even though he was talking off layers as he was freezing, Kyle would never deny Dan taking anything off of him. 

Dan’s cheeks were still pink from the cold and Kyle could imagine his own cheeks matched, especially as the fluffy snow fell to the ground as Kyle’s outer layers were removed. The same snow was in the hair peeking out of Dan's hat and Kyle’s heart beat faster at the realization that he was standing in front of Dan. It was almost as pathetic as the voice he made a few moments ago, but he had missed him terribly in the few days that they had been apart. 

As Dan’s hands unfairly left Kyle’s body to take off the hat and undo his own jacket, Kyle took a chance and lowered his hand to the front of Dan’s sleep bottoms. The bottoms of them were wet from the snow and he didn’t want Dan to catch a cold. “Let me help find them.” 

Dan smirked at the directness of Kyle and shushed him as he moved Kyle’s hand away from him. A few months ago the same move would have made Dan shy away from him, but their relationship had grown to a level of comfort that Dan merely brushed him off. 

Accepting defeat, Kyle shook out the wetness from his hair and walked to the bed as Dan changed out of his wet clothes. Thankfully, Kyle's jeans were not that long and didn't get wet like Dan's thin bottoms. The laptop had gone dark and Kyle touched the keyboard to make it turn back on. The video was now at 992 views and Kyle swelled with pride. This band thing was going to work out and Dan and him would be able to be together all the time. 

Dan sat on the other side of the bed when he came back and squinted at the screen. He must have removed his contacts and he was not wearing his glasses. After a few seconds, Dan must have been able to focus enough to see the number and he covered his still pink face with his hands. “Fuck, it is so close now. Who are these people?” 

“Fans of good music and wicked editing skills.” Kyle leaned the short distance between them and kissed Dan’s shoulder. “You have to face it, you are brilliant.” 

“Fuck off.” Dan gave him a genuine smile as he moved his hands from his face and Kyle fell even more in love with him. Dan had many smiles and the one he was using right now was one Kyle was sure was only for him. “You have to say that. It doesn’t mean anything.” 

“Rubbish.” Kyle smiled back at him and pulled Dan back with him so they lay on the bed, the laptop near their feet and still open. Dan followed him with little struggle and cuddled up to Kyle. Their heads were sharing the same pillow and both had their arms around each other, a position they naturally fell into anytime they were laid on a bed together. Staring into Dan’s clear blue eyes, Kyle continued with his point. “I cannot lie. Cursed with the ability to only tell the truth. You are brilliant. I know it. The people watching the video know it. Soon, the whole of Great Britain will know it. The Queen, she will know it.” 

Kyle’s words appeared to have an effect on Dan because soon Dan’s mouth was on his and Dan’s hands were seeking all the right places to make Kyle’s Christmas the best one ever. Gone was the shy man that could barely look Kyle in the eyes during the beginning of their relationship. Dan still had his moments where he would hesitate before doing something, but for the most part he touched and took what he wanted. 

And Kyle fucking loved it. 

Kyle pushed his hips up into Dan’s hand and moaned at the touch. Dan’s hands were still a bit cold but those hands knew just the right combination to get Kyle off. Licking his way further into Dan’s mouth, Kyle moaned again and he felt himself getting closer. 

Dan stopped kissing him and moved his mouth to Kyle’s ear. “Quiet. Put your hands on me, Jack.” 

In the two weeks spent at Kyle's flat, the pair had watched many films. Titanic had been an unique film in that it ticked both of their boxes. Kyle had the sweet romance of the love story and Dan had the disaster story line that was doomed from the start. And, both had confessed that Leonardo DiCaprio was one of their first celebrity male crushes.

“Did you just quote Titanic? Because that is so sweet.” Dan’s hand remained underneath his pants and Kyle felt like teasing him. Kissing his cheek and then his nose, Kyle moved his head back onto the pillow. “But, maybe we should stop. I want to make sure Father Christmas still leaves me a stocking. Only good boys get presents.” 

“Father Christmas already came this morning.” Dan kissed across Kyle’s neck to his other ear, slowly dragging his lips between each peck. Dan’s hand was slowly squeezing him as he moved his foreskin up and down his length. Just the right amount of pressure and movement to keep Kyle on the edge. “And, I should be the only man you are worried about pleasing.” 

“Christ.” Kyle pressed his hips up more to get some sort of relief. Dan rarely talked like this in bed and Kyle just needed a bit more and he would be over the edge. Kyle’s hand dug into the skin on Dan’s upper arm, the same arm that was attached to the hand that was doing wonderful things to him. Kyle’s fingers digging into his skin made Dan squeeze him harder and Kyle moaned out, “Jesus.” 

“No.” Dan’s hand released him and Kyle panted as he opened his eyes in confusion. “Only my name. Only say my name.” 

“Fuck, Dan.” Kyle drew out the vowel in Dan’s name and felt himself grow impossibly harder. Dan was never like this with him. 

“Better.” Dan’s hand was back on him and Kyle moaned out his name again, only a little too loud. Dan’s hand stilled but he didn’t remove his grip. Whispering into Kyle’s ear, Dan almost made Kyle come at his words. “No, no. Good boys are quiet boys. Be a good boy for me.” 

Kyle used what brain power he had left to find Dan’s neck and pull him into a kiss. Dan’s tongue found its way into Kyle’s mouth right as Kyle lost all control. Dan kissed him through the wave and kept even pressure as Kyle came on his hand. 

Kyle’s other hand moved down Dan’s back unconsciously and underneath his pants to pull him closer to him. Dan must have wiped his hand on something because both of his hands were in Kyle’s hair as he moved his hips against Kyle’s leg as he deepened the kiss. Soon, Dan was panting against him and making the best quiet sounds as his body continued to react to the aftershocks. 

After Dan moved his head down to rest on Kyle’s chest and they found their breath, Kyle questioned what just happened. “Where did that come from? Because, yes, more please. More of bossy Pinky in bed.” 

“I dunno.” Dan moved his head into Kyle’s shirt to hide. He was probably just realizing what happened and Kyle knew he needed to bring him back before he over thought it too much. 

“I love you.” Kyle brushed his hand through the back of Dan’s hair and kept an even movement as he spoke. “I missed you so much in the past few days. I love that we can do that. I love that you can do that with me. Not only because it is fucking hot and I came so hard I think I lost time, but because you are comfortable enough to say those things to me.” 

Dan unburied his head and found Kyle’s eyes. “I love you. So much that I don’t know what to do most of the time.” 

Kyle kissed his forehead and then moved Dan’s head back to his chest. Kyle kept the even movement through Dan’s hair as he felt Dan’s hands wrap around his back. Dan liked to keep his hands warm by tucking them in between the bed and Kyle’s back. Kyle smiled as he closed his eyes and allowed the day to come to an end. 

Too very soon, there was sunlight making its way through the windows and Kyle was awaken to find Dan had stayed close to him throughout the night. It was common for Dan to stay wrapped up in him, to the point that they both woke up sweaty at times from the added heat. Not that Kyle was any better, he slept the best with Dan’s weight pressed against him. 

Despite the fact that the heating was on and Kyle was warm from the shared body heat, Dan was shivering on top of him. Moving his hand to Dan’s pink forehead, Kyle found that he was hot. Much warmer that he should be even given the fact that they had been wrapped up in one another. 

Kyle’s mind went back to last night and Dan running down the street, his house slippers and pajama bottoms wet from the snow. Maybe Kyle shouldn’t have made him chase him down. He shouldn’t have even come to Dan’s parents’ house. 

“Dan, Pinky.” Kyle whispered down to Dan’s head, gently moving the damp hair off his forehead. “Sweetheart, wake up.” 

Dan slowly shifted at his words and pressed himself tighter against Kyle, likely seeking more of his warmth. 

Kyle tried again, with Dan not waking despite the gentle words and his hand through his hair. Deciding to give him a few more minutes of sleep, Kyle covered his eyes with his free arm and blocked out the sun enough to fall back asleep. If Dan was poorly, he needed his rest anyway. Plus, Kyle didn’t have to be home for his second Christmas until that afternoon. 

When Kyle woke the second time, it was to Dan shaking against him and giving out quiet groans. 

“Shhh, Pinky. You are okay.” Kyle kissed Dan’s forehead and found it was much warmer than it was earlier that morning. Looking around the room, Kyle found that it was almost nine. Dan’s parents, and grandparents, must be up by now. Kyle knew he wouldn’t be able to leave without someone noticing him. And, he was not leaving with Dan looking this miserable. “Dan, honey, are you awake?” 

“It's cold.” Dan tried to move closer yet and Kyle pulled the blanket up higher around him, so that Dan’s head was almost completely covered yet he could still breathe. “Thank you.” 

“You are welcome, Pinky.” Kyle kissed his forehead again and rubbed Dan’s back through the blanket. “Go back to sleep.”

After a few minutes, Dan groaned out again and spoke. “Everything feels wrong. I cannot sleep.” 

“I know. You have a fever.” Kyle added more pressure to Dan’s back in hopes that it was comforting. “What do you want me to do? I can get you some tablets.” 

“No.” Dan shook his head and winced from the movement. His voice sounded like he was miserable. “Someone will see you.” 

“Does it really matter? You are ill and need caring after.” Kyle hoped to reason with him, but he knew it was a losing battle. 

“No.” Dan didn’t shake his head this time, likely learning his lesson from the last time. “Just be quiet and let me die.” 

“Well, that is not going to happen on my watch.” Kyle almost laughed at how dramatic Dan was being but thought better of it given his condition. “You need some looking after and if you don’t let me do it, I’m going to have to ring your mother.” 

“That was only for emergencies.” Dan attempted to move his head but then stopped himself. Dan had given Kyle, and Woody and Will, his parents’ numbers in case they needed to get in the house and Dan was not there yet. “Not to be used as blackmail.” 

“Dan, this is an emergency. You are ill and have a fever, you need tablets. And water, And probably a dozen other things that a mum knows what to do in situations like these.” Kyle stopped rubbing Dan’s back until he got a response. With what sounded like a “fine,” Kyle gently moved his arm to the bedside table and took his mobile. 

Dan’s mum brought in a whole kit to tend to Dan and didn’t bat an eye at the fact that Dan was literally wrapped around Kyle in bed. Soon enough, Dan was tended to and back asleep against Kyle’s chest. 

“He didn’t want me to ring you.” Kyle whispered up from the bed as Dan’s mum sat on the edge. “Terrified that his grandparents would find out I’m here. Do you have a plan for that?” 

“His father can get them out of the house for a few hours. Dan’s sister has a shift down the street and they can go there to visit her. I’ll tell them he is poorly and I am staying to care for him.” Dan’s mum smiled at Kyle and Kyle wondered how both he and Dan were lucky enough to have such great parents. “You can untangle yourself from him then.” 

“Thank you.” Kyle found he was rubbing Dan’s back without thinking about it, Dan’s head wrapped back up in the blanket and resting with his face away from his mother. “Sorry I made him go outside last night and got him ill.” 

“No need to apologize.” Dan’s mum shook her head as she found Kyle’s eyes. “He moped around all day yesterday. I mean, he was like that before, but not since he met you. Yesterday, his father and I could tell that he was missing you. Made his favorite pies and not even a smile.” 

“I really love your son.” Kyle felt himself getting choked up on the words and he wondered what was getting him. He wasn’t like this. He didn’t bleed his heart out to people’s parents. “Fuck, why am I weeping?” 

“He really loves you as well.” Dan’s mum stood. “Now, let's not get all emotional and I will start the plan to get his grandparents out of the house. I’ll tell you when they have left. For now, rest with him.” 

Kyle cuddled with Dan for a few more hours until he made himself move away from him and layer himself for the cold. After being bundled up with Dan, the winter air hit him hard and he all but ran to the Tube. 

Kyle’s mum greeted him at the door and scolded him for being out in the cold without a hat. Kyle kissed his mum’s cheek and told her that he was an idiot for not bringing a hat. Kyle’s grandparents and aunts and uncles soon were making their way to the door to greet Kyle and Kyle became lost in the sights and sounds of his family. 

Later that night, as he checked his messages, he found a text from Dan’s mum. She told him that Dan’s fever was reduced but he slept most of the day. She asked if Kyle was feeling ill. Surprisingly, Kyle felt great and wondered how he was spared. He shared that with her and sent Dan a text as well, wishing him a good night. 

The next morning, Kyle was making his way back to his flat when he got a text from Dan. He said that he still felt poorly and that his mum was threatening to bring him to hospital if he didn’t get better in the next few days. He had started to have a runny nose and cough, as well as general body pains and a wicked rash covering most of his chest. 

Kyle asked if he should come to his parents’ house, but Dan told him that he didn’t want to infect him and that his grandparents were still there. Since they flew so far, they were staying for the next few weeks. Dan was held up in his room to not infect them and because sleeping made him not feel the discomfort that being awake brought with it.

Kyle took a grainy picture of him frowning and sent it in reply. 

Dan took an equally grainy picture of himself frowning and sent it to Kyle. Although the picture was low in quality, Kyle could see how poorly Dan must have felt. He wanted to go to him but figured it would look odd to Dan’s grandparents that Kyle was visiting when Dan felt so poorly. 

Dan and Kyle kept in contact through the phone over the next few days. Dan ended up going to hospital after the rash on his chest spread to the majority of his body and found that he had rubella. Apparently, Dan was never exposed to it as a child and didn’t build the immunity for it. Kyle’s mum confirmed that he had had rubella as a child. Otherwise, he would likely be just as miserable as Dan right now.


	17. Růžová

“I’m not a child.” Dan pouted as Kyle tucked him tight into the bed, the thick blanket holding down both of Dan’s arms to his sides. Dan’s hair was newly washed and stood up extra tall on the pillow. The evidence of the rash on his skin was gone and he did not look as poorly as when Kyle had last seen him on New Year’s Eve. 

Kyle was not missing a New Year’s kiss no matter what plague Dan had. And he thought it was a bit ridiculous that Dan had not allowed Kyle to visit him because he was ill. Kyle had it when he was a child, and if anyone was going to get ill from Dan, it would have been Kyle given the fact they more than slept in the same bed that night. 

Dan was alone in his flatshare, still recovering from his baby cousin giving him rubella. His mates had gone off to celebrate the new year and Dan was lying on the sofa watching an old film when Kyle arrived. At least that was what the text said that Dan gave him twenty minutes before Kyle arrived at the door. 

Kyle smiled bright and said, “Happy New Year, Pinky,” as Dan opened the door at 2359. Ignoring the look Dan gave him, Kyle got his new year kiss right as the clock rolled over to 0000. It was a sweet kiss on the lips and then one on the forehead before Kyle was making his way back to the lift. 

Stepping into the lift and facing toward Dan’s door, Kyle felt his heart swell as Dan was still stood in the door watching him leave. Dan had his special smile on his face, the smile that Kyle was sure was meant only for him. 

When Kyle got home that night, there was one text from Dan shouting at him for coming over. Another one shouting at him for coming over and then leaving. And then a final one that said, “Happy New Year, Love.” 

Over the next few days, Kyle respected Dan’s wishes to remain apart. Even though he thought it was ridiculous and so beyond their relationship at this point. Although, as the days went on, Kyle began to realize that it had less to do with Kyle potentially becoming ill from being around Dan and more to do with Dan not wanting to feel helpless and weak around Kyle. 

Now, it was the second week in January and Dan was finally feeling well enough that he felt he could spend the night with Kyle at Kyle’s flat. Dan was tucked into the bed tight and Kyle planned on cuddling him through a few films and then falling asleep with him near. 

Kyle knew he was finally going to be able to sleep soundly and he almost wanted to skip the films and just sleep, but it was only 2000 and if they slept now, they would be up before the sun. 

“You look cute all wrapped up in my blanket.” Kyle joined Dan underneath the covers and arranged the laptop on the small table near the side of the bed. The table was near enough that both could see without taking up room on the already small bed. Hitting the play button, Kyle moved back on the bed and laid his head on Dan’s blanket covered shoulder. “In my bed. Near me.” 

“I could cuddle you back if you didn’t wrap me up tighter than a burrito.” Dan teased as Kyle settled himself and ignored the fact that the blanket was not big enough to cover all of his back and also be tucked in tight underneath Dan. “The physician said I am fine now. Let me cuddle you.” 

“The physician better not have been cuddling you.” Kyle untucked the blanket from underneath Dan’s arm and moved his head onto Dan’s shirt covered shoulder. Dan seemed thinner than before, but Kyle was not going to comment on that. Wrapping the blanket underneath his side, thankful his back was completely covered now and no longer cold, Kyle kissed Dan’s throat and found a semi comfortable spot on Dan’s shoulder. “Only I can cuddle you. I claim rights.” 

“I only want you cuddling me.” Dan said nonchalantly as he kissed the top of Kyle’s head. The film had started, but neither of them were paying much attention to it. 

Kyle closed his eyes for a few minutes and then opened them when he felt himself falling asleep. He was too comfortable, despite the bony shoulder he was lying on, but he knew he should not sleep just yet. Looking up from his spot, Kyle found Dan staring at the laptop screen. Apparently, Dan was into the film more than Kyle was at the moment. 

“I saw the views jumped quickly in the last few weeks.” Kyle waited for Dan to give him his attention. Dan seemed confused and then he nodded his head in agreement. “Does that mean we are ready to add more dates to the tour?” 

As it stood now, there were five dates booked across the country. Dan had been using the view count to book gigs. Dan had gotten brave as he recovered from the illness and rang the gigs Ralph said would have them. 

“Maybe.” Dan shrugged the shoulder Kyle was lying on and turned his attention back to the screen. “I don’t know who else to ask though.” 

“Ralph know anyone else to ask?” Kyle pinched Dan’s stomach as he recovered from the movement of Dan’s shoulder. Hearing Dan give out a quick yelp, Kyle rubbed the spot he had pinched. “Sorry, don’t move your shoulder if I’m on it.” 

“Ralph is asking another mate.” Dan kissed the top of Kyle’s head again, likely in apology. “Did I tell you about the email I got off the Myspace account?” 

“Was it another man wanting to cuddle you?” Kyle put on a tough face as he moved from his spot next to Dan to hover over him. “Do I need to track someone down?” 

Dan giggled underneath Kyle and rested his hands on Kyle’s hips. Kyle opened his legs so they were on either side of Dan’s legs and sat back, Dan’s hands falling to his thighs. “Easy there. No need to get all caveman on me.” 

“I dunno.” Kyle grinned down as he leaned forward, his hands on either side of Dan’s shoulders. “Maybe it would be hot to get all caveman over you.” 

“I don’t want to...not yet.” Dan shied his eyes away and Kyle was flashed back to the beginning of their relationship. Add in a blush that would cover Dan’s face and it would be just like when Dan guarded himself away from his feelings for Kyle. 

They had evolved so much since then, Kyle almost could not believe how comfortable Dan was with him now. Or had been. It saddened him to see that Dan was falling back into old insecurities. 

“Dan.” Kyle waited for Dan’s eyes to be on him and smiled when he saw his boyfriend looking back at him. Old, insecure Dan might still be inside him and show himself at times, but the man looking back at him knew that Kyle loved him. And that he was safe with him. “There he is.” 

“What?” Dan’s cheeks went pink and his eyes only wavered for a few seconds. “I am right here.”

“I thought maybe you forgot how much I love you. And how far we have come since you snogged by face off at the house party and then I acted like a true idiot and fell asleep in your bed without showing you how much I fancied you.” Kyle followed Dan’s eyes as they moved to the laptop and then back. Kyle smiled back when Dan locked his eyes on him. Squeezing his thighs against Dan’s legs, Kyle gave him a gentle kiss on the mouth. “I’m so glad you still allow me to be around you. If you are not ready for more right now, then I’m more than happy to cuddle you in bed all night.” 

“You kissed me first.” Dan countered with a large smile on his face. “Couldn’t get you to leave me alone. You even followed me to my flat.” 

“Best decision of my life.” Kyle gave him a proper kiss and then moved back to his original spot on Dan’s shoulder. Once the blanket was wrapped around them both again, Kyle found Dan’s hand and held it in his own as it rested on Dan’s chest. 

The film continued and Kyle felt his eyes closing for longer and longer. He was happy and warm. In love with the man underneath him. Going on tour with the man underneath him. Luckiest man in the world, he was. 

Soon enough it was morning and Kyle woke to Dan sound asleep underneath him. Allowing him to sleep, Kyle slowly moved out of the bed and bit his lip when Dan whined at the loss of heat. Using his pillow, Kyle tucked it into the spot he abandoned and went to find the shower. 

Three songs into his warm shower, he heard the door to the room open quietly and then leaned back into the body behind him. Dan’s hands were wrapped around his waist and holding Kyle against him. Kyle leaned his head to the side as he felt Dan’s lips kissing along his neck. Luckiest fucking man in the world. 

Dan lowered one of his hands dangerously close to the hardness he created, and then the same hand helped Kyle turn around so they were face to face. “Good morning.” 

“Great morning.” Kyle narrowed the gap between them and brushed against Dan as he gave him a proper good morning kiss. He had likely given Dan hundreds kisses at this point, but it never got old when Dan would sink into the kiss with him and everything else ceased to matter. 

“You were singing my song.” Dan said quietly and almost to himself as he watched Kyle wash his hair. Dan’s wet hair was flat around his face and he looked almost five years younger to Kyle. “When I came into the room. You were singing the song I wrote when I thought I would never find anyone to love me.” 

Kyle finished rinsing the soap out of his hair and stepped out of the water to be near Dan. Tracing a finger down to the red spot on Dan’s chest, Kyle held eye contact as best he could with Dan’s wondering eyes. “It’s a good song. I’m sorry it came from so much pain.” 

“Not pain, just…” Dan’s voice broke off and he closed his eyes for a moment. “I dunno. Fear, maybe. I’m still trying to figure out what the hell you see in me. I know you say...so many things, but it doesn’t seem real.” 

“It’s real.” Kyle pulled Dan closer to him and gently swayed their bodies until the water started to go cold. Removing himself from their shared warmth, Kyle turned off the water and followed Dan out of the shower. Once they were both mostly toweled off, Kyle remembered what they were talking about last night. “Hey, what did the email say? The one you were talking about last night?” 

“Oh.” Dan laughed and ran his hand through his hair. His eyes were on the ground and he shifted his feet. “Someone that wanted to know if we had management. Probably some sad person that is trying to take our nonexistent money. I have actually gotten two of them.” 

“Dan, fuck!” Kyle wrapped his towel around his waist and watched as Dan did the same. Dan looked at him quickly and then away. “They cannot both be fake. This is happening. We are happening. We have to tell Woody and Will.” 

“No, not yet.” Dan reached for his shirt and put it over his head. Kyle saw there was another red mark on the left side of Dan’s chest, underneath where his arm would meet his chest. Dan had anxious habits that left marks on his skin. Kyle could gauge how Dan was feeling now by either watching him fidget throughout the day, or look at the marks on his skin. From the looks of it, Dan was full on right now. “We need to gig first. See if we can finish a set without people throwing beer bottles and urine at us.” 

“Dan, this is massive.” Kyle pulled Dan’s hand away from pulling at his shirt and held his hand in his own. “This is happening. Mark my words, this is happening.”


	18. Catosē

Kyle wondered if maybe Dan was over him. 

It seemed like Dan was distancing himself from Kyle. Not just physically, but also emotionally. 

The night before was spent at Dan’s place. They cuddled on his bed. Only half watching a film that had subtitles in English, but even with the subtitles, Kyle had no clue what was going on on the screen. Dan’s head was on his chest and he appeared either lost in the film or his head. 

Dan used to love to analyze the plot or complain about the lack of completion of a random storyline, but he didn’t speak about the film afterward. Dan kissed the space on Kyle’s chest near where his head had been and then turned over to sleep. Facing the closed window and his back to Kyle, his own arm hugged around himself and not around Kyle, where it used to be when they slept. 

Kyle had whispered goodnight, but he didn’t attempt to cuddle up to him. Dan had shrugged him off when Kyle tried to do it the night before that one. 

That night, the band had a meeting about the question of bringing on a manager. In two weeks, they were to play their first gig in a pub in Brighton. A gig they had booked on their own without the help of a manager, Dan had pointed out when everyone looked at him like he was a nutter for not wanting to have a manager. 

“That is what proper bands do, right?” Woody asked, abandoning his pint in front of him to speak. “Am I wrong in thinking this could only help us? And there is more than one that is interested? Why is this even a question?” 

“I don’t think we need one.” Dan shook his head, his eyes on his own pint in front of him. Unlike the rest of them, Dan had already finished his drink. They were sat in a small pub near Kyle’s flat. Dan had called the meeting and wanted to discuss it somewhere they could drink. “They don’t always...think the same way we do.” 

“How would you know?” Woody asked after a moment of silence. Will and Kyle were silent watching the conversation play out around them. 

“Technically, I already have one.” Dan ran his finger along the bottom of his glass, moving the condensation around on the table. “Or rather, had one.” 

“What?” Kyle asked as he removed his hand from Dan’s thigh underneath the table. Dan never mentioned to him anything about a manager. Kyle knew Dan had a few silo gigs before adding Woody and then Will to the mix. That Dan knew he needed others to make the music he wanted, and to help himself through the nerves of being on stage. “Why is this the first we are hearing about this?” 

“To be honest, I kind of forgot I had one.” Dan kept his eyes on the table despite the fact there was no longer enough water to move around with his finger. “He kept pushing a record deal and wanting me to do things I did not want to do music-wise. I haven’t spoken to him in a few months. Not since he said come back with an album so he could sell me to the record labels.” 

“A few months?” Will asked, his face showing confusion. “We have been together for more than a few months. Not with Kyle, but still.” 

“He kept pushing the record deal and I didn’t want...we are not ready for that. I don’t want to be signed and have someone tell me what to do just to end up stuck on a shelf somewhere.” Dan looked up briefly and shrugged his shoulders at the looks he was getting. “I cannot do it like that. He helped me with the other gigs, but I really haven’t told him about you. About the band. Or our new gigs.” 

“What else?” Kyle asked, trying to keep the hurt out of his voice. It wasn’t about Kyle and Dan right now, but it felt like it given their relationship. Dan had opened up about so many things over their time together. Kyle had opened up as well. They shared things together. Kyle thought that they shared all the important things about themselves. Now, he was learning that there were still things Dan did not trust him with. 

“I spoke with him yesterday. He said he is willing to let me go. Or let me fire him. However that works.” Dan sat back on the booth bench and rubbed at the spot on his side, underneath his arm. The spot that Kyle knew was bright red right now because it had been early that morning when they took a shower together. It was the spot that Dan rubbed when he was nervous. Or anxious. Or bored. Or restless. “I just don’t know if I want someone else that is going to tell us what to do. I have a....I dunno, a vision, for lack of better words. Build a strong base before a record deal. We can make music without a record label telling us what to do.” 

“Telling you what to do, you mean.” Woody finished his pint and set it back on the table before sitting back on the bench across from Dan and Kyle. “I get that we are just side pieces here, but if this is going to be anything worth pursuing, I would like a say in it.” 

“Same.” Will nodded his head and looked in Woody’s direction before giving his attention back to Dan. “I know you don’t like hearing this, but what we are doing is good. Maybe only playing a few gigs good, but it could be more. I would like it to be more. I hate working. I love playing.” 

Kyle sat back and tried to put together what he wanted to say. He had to set aside his feelings about Dan and look at what he wanted from the band. He might have started because he was interested in Dan, but he liked playing with them. Woody and Will had become mates. Mark as well. He loved Dan, but he also liked the music. Dan was brilliant in what he does and it seemed like he was bursting with music ideas. Kyle could be able to put away the crappy part time jobs and make a career for himself. 

“Okay, loverboy, we know you are probably on his side with this, but what do you think?” Woody asked, his intense eyes looking directly at Kyle now. 

“I think we need to gig and play for people before we make any decisions. I mean, I’m still not sure if I can play in public without fainting and Dan works himself up so much.” Kyle glanced at Dan to see his reaction and found there was none. He felt like this was the first time Dan and his relationship was affecting something related to the “band” and he felt like shit for Woody and Will. “This could still all go to hell in a handbasket. That being said, I think Dan is out of his comfort zone when it comes to selling us as a band. He got us this tour, but what is next?” 

“We put out music. See if people like it.” Dan’s leg started to move up and down next to Kyle’s. “Our views are up on the websites. Not much, but people are listening to us. I don’t want someone coming in and telling us, not just me, what to do. This is working. Why mess it up now?” 

“We don’t know if these new ones will be like the other manager.” Kyle started on his reason but stopped when he saw the reaction on Dan’s face. “Bloody hell, you meet with someone, didn’t you?” 

Dan bit at the underside of his lip and paused before he answered. “Only one of them. He went on about the same thing. Record deal. Record label. Writing with other people. I’m not doing that. I’m not.” 

The conversation was tabled after that. It was decided that they would talk again after the first few gigs and see if it was even a conversation worth having. There was a very real possibility that no one would even care about them and having a manager to manage nothing would be a moot point.

Now, two nights have gone by and Kyle wondered if maybe even their relationship was a moot point. 

It was early morning, both up and sat in the kitchen with cereal before they were to leave to go to work. Dan had a short shift, but Kyle was going to be busy all day. These early morning minutes might be the only he would have with Dan until late that night. However, Dan’s attention was on the soggy cereal in front of him. 

If it were any other time in their history, Dan would be sat next to him or not allowing Kyle to finish his cereal because his mouth would be on his. Now, Kyle felt like Dan wasn’t even in the same room with him. 

“Did I fuck up or something?” Kyle broke the silence after watching Dan start to rub his hand across his forehead. “The night at the pub, did I cross some boundary or something?” 

“What?” Dan looked up, seemingly lost. Kyle wondered if he even heard a word he had said. 

“At the pub, when we were talking about managers and the next steps for the band. Did I cross some boundary or upset you?” Kyle set down his spoon and watched Dan process his words. He hadn’t heard him the first time then. 

“No.” Dan gave him a slight shake of his head and stood to dump his abandoned breakfast in the sink. Starting the water, he kept his back to Kyle. 

“Then what?” Kyle stood with his bowl and followed Dan’s path to the sink. He stopped just short of leaning his weight against Dan’s back. “Talk to me, please.” 

Dan shrugged his shoulders and startled when Kyle took his arm and turned him so they faced one another. Kyle’s grip was gentle and he knew he needed to be careful, but he couldn’t take Dan not looking at him any longer. “Fuck, Dan, talk to me.” 

Dan sank into Kyle and wrapped his arms around Kyle’s back, burying his head in Kyle’s neck. “It is all just too much all of a sudden.” 

“We can talk it through.” Kyle wrapped Dan in his arms, his long arms pulling Dan even closer to him, and swayed them slightly. “Perk of being in the band with you. And loving you. I’m here, use me.” 

“I just don’t want it to all go away before it even starts, you know?” Dan’s warm breath made Kyle’s skin tingle. 

They hadn’t been that intimate since Christmas. A few cuddles here and there, but nothing more. Kyle knew Dan was in his head but he wasn’t talking to him. Now he was and Kyle needed to focus on his words and not how nice it felt to have Dan so close to him. 

“Nothing is going anywhere.” Kyle kissed the side of Dan’s head and then moved his head back so they were face to face. “I’m right here. All in for whatever might come our way. Woody and Will are all in as well. Who knows where this will go, but worrying about it going away before even allowing it to happen, that is just wasted time.” 

“But-” Dan’s eyes moved down and he tried to step away. 

“No.” Kyle allowed Dan to take a small step backward and waited for his eyes to find his again. “I know this is hard for you, but we are going to just stay in the moment and hope for the best, okay?” 

“I don’t want to go to work.” Dan said after a long pause, his eyes never leaving Kyle’s. “I cannot think about that with everything else going on.”

“So, don’t go.” Kyle shrugged his shoulders. “Take a mental health day and go to the studio. Or a park. Or water.” 

“Come with me?” Dan asked quietly, his voice almost a whisper as if they would be caught if he spoke it out loud. 

Kyle had two shifts scheduled for the day. One job he had promised to not blow off again or he would be terminated. The second job was the main contribution to his rent. He should go to work and be responsible. 

But, with Dan stood right in front of him and those eyes looking at him, almost begging him to stay with him, Kyle knew there really was no choice. 

“Always.”


	19. Bleikur

“What?” Dan choked on the word and then laughed so hard that he needed to lean into Kyle to remain standing. They were walking toward his mum’s vehicle and Dan had asked if Kyle wanted to drive. Kyle informed Dan that he did not drive. Tried once and ran over a bird, never to attempt to drive again. “Birds fly, mate.” 

“This fucker didn’t.” Kyle laughed along with Dan. It was nice to hear him laugh after the past few days. Dan had been in a mood and it seemed like he was finally coming out of it. Kyle was worried that Dan’s mood was going to impact their relationship status, but it appeared that Dan was just in his head about the upcoming tour and what it meant for the band. And apparently meeting managers without telling anyone about it. “Defective or just plain out to get me.” 

“Sure it was a bird?” Dan let out a weak sound and then appeared to be getting himself together. Before parting with Kyle, he randomly brushed his hand along Kyle’s arm and Kyle felt it all the way down to his toes. 

“Had wings.” Kyle shrugged his shoulders after settling in the passenger seat and putting on his seat belt. “Doesn’t matter. It was a sign.” 

“I just cannot believe that you don’t know how.” Dan adjusted the mirrors and moved the seat back. Dan then put his seat belt on and looked over. His hair was so tall that it hit the ceiling of the small vehicle. Dan’s mum was much smaller than him. “I mean, I get it. But really?” 

“Lived in London my whole life and then Leeds. Don’t need to know how to drive.” Kyle leaned over and had to kiss the pink on Dan’s cheeks. “And now you can drive me around while I contemplate our day.” 

“Work upset at you?” Dan asked quietly while turning the car on. Kyle had agreed to take the day off with Dan and then left the flat soon after it was decided. “Do you still have a job?” 

“Probably not after today. Left a message.” Kyle kissed Dan’s cheek again because it was right there and then the corner of his mouth, also because it was right there. “Doesn’t matter. We are going on tour and I was going to be fired because of that anyway. I have some money saved. I will make do.” 

“I don’t want-” Dan was cut off by Kyle kissing him. This time a proper kiss on the mouth, because, again, right there. 

Dan smiled into the kiss and Kyle wished they didn’t have on the belts because he could get a lot closer without them. But, it was probably for the best given they were on the street in front of a big fancy building with people smartly dressed walking about. Dan had rang his mum after it was decided they were taking the day off and she agreed to allow Dan to use the vehicle while she was at work. Just needed to make sure it was back before seven that night. 

“Maybe we don’t need to go anywhere.” Kyle leaned his head against Dan’s forehead while they both caught their breath. “We could go back to mine and continue this.” 

“Or we could go somewhere new and, also, continue this.” Dan smirked at Kyle’s fake shocked expression. Dan knew by now that Kyle was no prude. 

“Why, what kind of gentleman do you take me for?” Kyle scrunched up his face in exaggerated annoyance. “Think you can just drive me places and have your way with me?”

“Actually, yes.” Dan kissed him again and they were finally on their way. 

Dan said he knew of a place they could go that was about an hour and a half outside the city. There was a lake there and he hadn’t been since he was a child. Said it was nice and they could bring food with them to eat outside. 

They stopped for burritos before they left the city, knowing that they would not be able to find Mexican food once they were outside London. Kyle was tempted to eat the food while in the car, complaining that it smelled too good to wait, but the need to have a picnic with Dan outweighed the temptation. 

The area was remote and they had to park the car and walk before they reached the “right” spot. 

“Didn’t say we were going on a nature hike. I would have worn better trainers.” Kyle whined as he walked behind Dan, the food held in his hands like a precious object. Kyle had almost dropped the bag when he tripped on a tree root sticking out of the ground. Dan had asked if he needed help after that, but Kyle shooed him away. Dan held their drinks and Kyle was fully capable of carrying the food. At least he hoped he was. He wasn’t taking any chances after that tree root appeared out of nowhere and decided he would hug the food close to him. 

“We are almost there. From what I remember, it is worth it.” Dan turned his head quickly to speak to Kyle and then his eyes were back on the trail in front of them. “Stop your complaining. It is a beautiful day. Sunshine. Burritos. Spirits. And me. What more could you ask for?” 

“A magical genie to snap his fingers and bring us to our destination.” Kyle swatted away a bug flying around his head and almost dropped the food again. “And maybe insect repellent and sun cream. Daniel, I’m a Londoner. I was not made for all this outdoor stuff.” 

“Oh, rubbish. I’ve seen your family photos. You have hiking in your blood.” Dan turned toward Kyle as they entered a clearing. There was a lake in the distance and Kyle understood why Dan wanted to come to this place. “See what I mean? It is beautiful out here.” 

“The view is nice.” Kyle smiled and took a few more steps so he was right near Dan. “The company is better.”

“Aw, you are so sweet.” Dan laughed and turned to go toward the water. 

“I don’t get a kiss for that?” Kyle shook his head and continued following Dan to the water. “I hiked all the way from the vehicle and saved our burritos from sudden peril, not once but twice! I gave you a sweet compliment, not complaining, and all I get is...well, never mind, I get a nice view of your ass.” 

“Oh, fuck off.” Dan stopped them right before the grass ended and the dirt began leading to the water. 

Kyle took in the sights around him. The water was clear, with the sun shining down on it. There were sounds of nature in the background. And Dan stood in front of him. The sun, or the hiking through the wooded area, already putting colour on his face. The wind was moving his hair and Kyle fell even deeper in love. 

“Thank you for bringing me here.” Kyle said after a long pause. Dan had laid out an old blanket from the boot of the vehicle and was sitting on it. Kyle joined him and opened the bag to sort out their food. “I haven’t been to a lake in ages.” 

“Not quite the ocean, but it will do.” Dan smiled as he poured their drinks into cups. 

“Much better than the ocean.” Kyle shuddered at the mention. “No sharks here.” 

“Are you afraid of some poor shark just trying to survive?” Dan teased and handed over Kyle’s cup. Kyle liked to think that it was not an accident that Dan’s hand stayed against his longer than what was needed to make sure the cup did not spill. “That shark has babies to protect as well.” 

“Oh, that is fine. I don’t allow sharks in my house so I don’t expect them to allow me in theirs.” Kyle took a drink and then dug into his burrito. His bowl of cereal was hours ago. Damn, it was good. “I stay out of the ocean.” 

“You have sour cream on your face.” Dan said with his mouth mostly full, his eyes only briefly looking up from his own food. 

“With how hungry I am right now, you just wait, once I’m done with this sour cream, I’m coming for yours.” Kyle said without thinking through what he sounded like. Swallowing quickly, he felt himself blushing. “I mean, your food.” 

“Sure you did.” Dan laughed and covered his mouth to hide the food he was chewing before he started laughing. Whipping his mouth with the back of his hand, he found Kyle’s eyes. Moving in slower, Dan moved his thigh against Kyle’s and gave him a lovely look. “We could though. No one is here.” 

“Daniel, whatever your middle name is, Smith, are you suggesting that we expose this wonderful place to our indecency?” Kyle took the last bite of his food and looked to Dan. Dan bit the bottom of his lip and shrugged one of his shoulders. “Really?” 

“Why not?” Dan asked, wrapping up the rest of his burrito and then downed his drink. Moving his leg over Kyle, he sat in his lap while Kyle finished his drink. “And it is Campbell.” 

Kyle watched Dan over the edge of his drink and smiled into the cup as Dan settled onto his lap. Kyle had his legs crossed and Dan’s butt sat into the space in between them, his legs loosely around Kyle’s back. This was almost a completely different person than the Dan he had been with for the past few days. 

"Am I crushing you?" Dan asked, almost pulling away before Kyle could assure him that he was fine with Dan's weight on him. 

Throwing his cup and wrapper away from them, Kyle wrapped his arms around Dan’s back, his hands moving over the thin t shirt. Dan’s hands were around his shoulders, and Dan’s eyes were locked onto Kyle’s. “You sure about this?” 

“Yes.” Dan nodded his head and moved in closer. The height difference was minimal with Dan sat down in the gap between Kyle’s legs, but Kyle still had to strain his neck up to meet Dan’s lips due to the angle. Dan was kissing him slowly, with as much urgency as the calmness around them. 

Waking up that morning, Kyle would have never guessed that his day would lead to them messing around in a clearing almost two hours outside the city, but he loved it. Every day should be this good.

Dan moved in closer and then sighed. “Can’t get close enough like this.” 

“Here.” Kyle moved him back so Dan was sat on the blanket and then hovered over him until he laid completely back. Kyle soon settled onto Dan and found his lips while his hands moved down to their waist. Pushing down his trousers and pants, Kyle found Dan’s hands were doing the same. 

“Fuck.” Dan moaned into his ear as they met without their clothes in the way. Dan pressed up against him and then stilled as Kyle pressed back against him. “Too bad we didn’t bring anything.” 

“New rule, never leave home without supplies.” Kyle bit at Dan’s throat near his ear and then kissed down his neck. Finding the spot that always made Dan moan out, Kyle sucked on it while his hips continued to move. True to his theory, Dan moaned out at the suction and Kyle found his hair was gripped tight into Dan’s fingers. “Fuck, my lilly white ass is going to be burnt but I really do not care right now.” 

“I will take care of it if it does.” Dan pulled him away from his collarbone and kissed him, his hand never leaving Kyle’s hair. 

After much convincing, and Dan proving the water was safe by going into it first, Kyle and Dan cleaned themselves off with the lake water. 

Dan pulled Kyle further into the water and laughed while Kyle yelped as a plant brushed his calf. “You are safe here with me, mate.” 

“First, we don’t know what lives in this lake.” Kyle shook off the plant from the bottom of his leg and stepped in closer to Dan’s space. The water was slightly chilly and he wanted to share their warmth. “Second, I gave you a cute nickname and you still just call me ‘mate.’ Where is my cutesy name?” 

Dan’s hands moved around his back and rested on Kyle’s ass, making Kyle wince and confirm that he likely was burnt there. Dan kissed his shoulder and then his neck without answering him. 

“Don’t distract me with that mouth.” Kyle teased in a grumpy voice and then closed his eyes as Dan’s mouth found a particularly sensitive spot on his neck. They both knew each other’s bodies so well by now. Kyle liked that. He never had that comfort with another person before Dan. “Okay, you can distract me a bit.” 

“I’m not good at coming up with names.” Dan gave Kyle’s neck one last nick with his teeth and pulled Kyle further into the water until only their heads were showing. “Not creative like that.” 

“Fuck all, not creative like that.” Kyle splashed water into Dan’s face with his hand and found a wave of water coming back at him. “Easy now.” 

“What do you want to be called?” Dan asked, rubbing the water off his face and then brushing his hair back. His face was burning and it made Kyle realize once again how easy it had been to come up with a nickname for Dan.

“Kind of defeats the purpose of having a cutesy nickname if I name myself, doesn’t it?” Kyle followed Dan’s example and brushed his hair back. It was getting long and needed a cut. Not as long as Dan’s but longer than Kyle typically wore it. He had the realization the other day that he liked it longer because Dan liked to play with it, and pull it. 

“I guess.” Dan smiled and moved in closer, hooking his leg around Kyle’s waist. “I just don’t know what to call you. Everything seems...I dunno, too cutesy.” 

“Think about it.” Kyle kissed Dan’s nose and then screeched when something brushed against his leg. “Okay, nature day over with. There is something in here with us and it wants to eat me.” 

“There are probably lots of things in here with us.” Dan laughed as he allowed Kyle to drag him back to land. Both of them were wet and needed drying before they attempted to put on clothes. “Aw, honey, your ass is red. See, honey seems too cutesy. Maybe I’ll call you 'Red.' Remember this day always.” 

“Veto.” Kyle laughed and nudged Dan’s arm as they walked toward the blanket and their clothes. There were still sounds of nature around them, but thankfully, no other people. “I call you 'Pinky' because of your constant habit of blushing. My ass is not always red.” 

“What constant habit do you have that I can exploit?” Dan picked up the blanket and wrapped it around both of them. It was barely big enough for them, but it covered them enough that hopefully they could dry without being exposed the whole time. “Hm? What can I use to embarrass you?” 

“I embarrass you with the name?” Kyle stepped in closer and paused. Dan had never said anything negative to him about the name. Dammit, did he hate it this whole time and didn’t tell him because he was afraid that Kyle would get upset with him. “I wouldn’t have kept calling you it if I knew you didn’t like it.” 

“No.” Dan shook his head and some water fell to the ground with the movement. “I actually love that name. And that you only call me it when we are alone. Makes it seem...special. I don’t want to just call you anything. It needs to be special as well.” 

“I am chuffed that you didn’t want to go to work today.” Kyle smiled. “Doesn’t matter what name you call me. It will be special because it is you.” 

“Okay, we need to stop.” Dan smiled back and kissed Kyle’s cheek. “We are a bit sickening. Dress and drive back?” 

“Unfortunately yes.” Kyle sighed and moved to find his clothes. Once he had his top back on and the evidence of them being there in his hands, they started back toward the vehicle. 

They were halfway back to the city when Dan broke the comfortable silence. There was a song playing in the background that Kyle did not recognize but it made Dan turn it down. 

“We need to release music. Like, actually release it. Not a record, but something. Release them for free and get our name out there. I don't have enough written, but I have some arrangements of other songs.” Dan waited for Kyle to look his way before he continued. “Maybe a manager could help with that. I have some money saved up, and Mark knows how to make even my voice sound good, but maybe we would need a manager for that.” 

“I don’t know much about managers, but that sounds like something they would know how to do.” Kyle agreed. His hand moved from his thigh to rest on Dan’s. “Maybe you should meet with the other one, see what he has to say.” 

“She. It is a her.” Dan said slowing down for a lorry in front of them that had flashing lights on. “Don’t be sexist.” 

“Okay, hear her out and ask her what she can do for you.” Kyle squeezed Dan’s thigh as they waited for the lorry to turn off the road. 

“For us. Woody, Will, you, and me.” Dan accelerated after the lorry was cleared from their path. “We are in this together. I don’t want to go back to being alone. I hate being alone.” 

“I believe you will literally have to throw us out of the band to get us to go away.” Kyle squeezed his thigh harder. “Especially me, I’m quite fond of you. As my burnt, red ass can attest to right now.” 

Dan gave a slight head nod and covered Kyle’s hand with his own. “Feeling is mutual, Love. And, I already said I would take care of that.”


	20. Pink

The van was small. 

Or rather the van with all their equipment and them packed inside was small. 

Thankfully, the UK is also small and Brighton was only an hour and a half away. 

Woody and Will were excited for the gig. 

Dan and Kyle were trying to hold it together. So far, Kyle was succeeding better than Dan. 

“The man said it is a small pub and that we were not going to make any money.” Dan attempted to move the metal bit of Woody’s drum kit away from his ribs and failed because there was nowhere for it to go. Kyle tried to help, from his spot behind Dan, but there really was no other space for the metal bit to go. “Ralph said the same. Said there were only five people when they played.” 

“We know.” Woody shouted back from his spot in the driver seat. They were near their destination and Dan had already told the group five times about the pub. Thankfully Woody understood that it was just Dan’s nerves that was making him repeat himself and he did not sound irritable. “It is going to be fine.” 

“I would say 'Stop your worrying,' but I know you won’t.” Will said from his spot in the passenger seat. On his lap was Kyle’s keyboard, and covering his feet were the clothes he packed for the next day. Ralph knew a mate that was going to let them stay the night and then they were moving on to the next town. “Best get it out of your system now.” 

“Or, no one will be there.” Dan said, apparently ignoring the fact that Woody and Will had responded to him. “We are only playing to see how we sound anyway. Don’t need anyone for that.” 

“Dan.” Kyle tried to get Dan’s attention but Dan was in his head and probably didn’t hear him. Pushing on the metal bit of the kit near him, he got a reaction from Dan he did not intend. 

“Fucking hell, what did you do that for?” Dan snapped his head around to Kyle sat behind him and off to the left. “You just jabbed me in the ribs.” 

Kyle felt bad because he knew that Dan’s worrying spot underneath his arm must be sore given the upcoming gig and the multiple meetings he had been having with the potential manager. Dan had told the group that she liked Dan’s plan of releasing music for free and building up their audience, but Dan, being Dan, thought that there was still going to be a catch and she would change her mind. 

“Sorry. You weren’t listening to me and I figured-” 

“That you would jab me in the fucking ribs?” Dan’s brow furrowed and he turned his head back around to face the front. Only to find Will and Woody actively trying to ignore the domestic squabble behind them. “I don’t know what you two think is so funny. I need my lungs to sing.” 

“Dan, for fuck’s sake, breathe.” Will kept his eyes forward as he also tried to calm Dan down. “The air is already thin in here, don’t need you using more than what is necessary. It is going to be fine. We are going to be fine. You are going to be fine. The Queen is going to be fine. All fine.” 

There was five minutes of heated silence before Dan apologized and said to just ignore him. 

They were all quiet until they began to unload the van. Woody had gone in and was told that they could set up whenever as they were the only ones there that night. 

“Place is no bigger than Dan’s bedroom.” Woody said to the group as he found all the pieces of his drum kit. “Should be like any other practice.” 

“Except for the random eyeballs staring at us.” Will laughed as he moved around some bags to find the food they had brought to eat. “A bit different than Dan’s parents listening through the walls.” 

“They do that?” Dan stopped unwrapping a cord and looked up to find Will laughing at him. The furrow returned and Kyle decided to step in. 

“How many people were inside?” Kyle put the keyboard stand underneath his arm and found the cord he needed. “Or are we playing to an empty room?” 

“Maybe seven?” Woody tried to pick up as many pieces to his kit and cursed under his breath as he dropped one. “Might be more in the toilets. It is early yet, more could come still.” 

“Or they could leave.” Dan said turning away from the others and starting to walk to the door to the pub. 

“We going to have to deal with this the whole tour?” Woody asked Kyle after Dan was inside the building. Woody had nodded his head in the direction of Dan to further clarify what he meant. 

“I dunno.” Kyle shrugged and felt himself torn between wanting to acknowledge that Dan was a bit dramatic and feeling like he needed to protect Dan because he wasn’t there to defend himself. “He will settle, just give him a minute to get used to this. His mates say he just needs a few drinks and he will be okay.” 

“I need a few drinks.” Will put away the crisp bag and grabbed his bass. “We all need a few drinks. Let us drink.” 

The rest of the gear was brought in and set up. Woody checked two times that the van was locked and all that was left to do was wait until the owner said it was time to start. 

Kyle found himself outside the pub, in a back alley with Dan. Dan who was now pacing back and forth on the dirty ground. He had been following Dan’s movements for the first few minutes, but it was beginning to make him feel ill so he turned his attention to the clouds rolling in. Soon it would be dark and the clouds would blend into the night sky. 

“I don’t think I can do this.” Dan’s voice broke Kyle out of the fog of his mind. 

Moving his eyes down to find Dan stood in front of him, Kyle saw every insecure thought Dan had written all over his face. 

Kyle smiled at him and moved his arm to find Dan’s to pull him closer, but Dan took a small step back to stop the gesture. Dan’s eyes darted around, even though there was no one to be seen. 

Kyle crossed his arms around his waist to stop his natural instinct to touch. “You can do this. If I can do this, you can do this.” 

“No.” Dan shook his head and Kyle saw the sweat forming across his forehead. “The only thing that got me through the others was a lot of spirits. We cannot afford that now. My mates paid for my drinks back then.” 

“Pinky.” Kyle waited for Dan to look at him, as his eyes had drifted off to stare at nothing at their feet. It took a few seconds, but Dan found his eyes. “Listen here, it is going to be fine. And if it is not, then it is not. End of.” 

“How can you say that?” Dan ran his hand through his hair and, due to the sweat, part of the left side stayed flatter than the rest. “Woody and Will, they both want this so much. If I fuck it up-” 

“If we fuck it up. I’m still not 100 percent sure I’m making it through this either.” Kyle attempted to lighten the mood, but also express that if it were to go wrong, it wouldn’t just be Dan’s issue. “Doesn’t matter. We are here and we are doing this. Come what may. If we fuck up bad enough, then we will just go home. There are plenty of crappy jobs just waiting for us.” 

Dan nodded his head and ran his hand through his hair again, this time fixing the mess he had created the last time. Dan stepped closer on his own. He seemed to be slowly working his way to cuddling up to Kyle, but Woody’s voice stopped him. 

“He said to get ready.” Woody called from the door to the back entrance. He had a massive grin on his face. “I counted eighteen people. Twenty if we count the bartender and the owner.” 

“We are counting them.” Kyle called back, returning the grin. “We will be right in.” 

Woody let the door shut behind him and Kyle was left alone with Dan. The best place in the world, even if Dan was panicking. 

“Hey, we got this.” Kyle smiled and kicked Dan’s shoe. Before Dan could respond, Kyle quickly kissed Dan’s temple and held out his hand. “Come on.” 

“I really cannot-” Dan started but Kyle cut him off. 

“You really can.” Kyle moved his open hand closer to Dan and waited for him to take it. He was willing to wait all night if he had to. “Let’s go be shite.” 

It took another full minute, but Kyle had Dan’s hand in his own and they were both walking toward the back door. Kyle opened the door for them but waited for Dan to drop his hand, knowing that Dan would need more time. And to be honest, Kyle needed more time as well. 

Dan took a deep breath and dropped Kyle’s hand, heading toward his spot in the back of the small stage. 

Will proudly stood in the front with his bass in hand. 

Woody with the same massive grin on his face from before and his sticks in hand. 

And Kyle, stood with his face to the keyboard and attempting to find the right breathing pattern to settle his racing heart. 

Woody started them off and thus it began. 

Kyle knew Dan was behind him before he felt the arm curve around his waist and settle on his belt buckle. 

Dan’s other hand moved toward the top of the synth and turned a knob, making what Kyle was playing sound even better. Dan was slightly leaning against Kyle’s arm, but still allowing him room to move to finish the song. 

“Sounds good.” Dan nodded his head in agreement with himself as he stayed close to Kyle. Dan had given him a new part to add in earlier that morning and they were still working on it late into the evening. Among other things for their fourth album. 

The others had left a few minutes ago, leaving Dan and Kyle alone inside One Eyed Jack’s. 

“Humbly says the man that wrote it.” Kyle teased as he continued to play yet move his head to kiss the side of Dan’s head. 

“But it doesn’t sound like that when I play it.” Dan shyed his head and took his hand away from Kyle. 

Kyle turned quickly and stopped Dan from moving away, his long arms wrapping around Dan from behind. Hugging him back to him yet bending to keep him close, Kyle kissed into the blonde mess that was Dan’s hair and laughed when Dan tried to undo his arms to no luck. He might look lean, but Kyle was mostly muscle and all bets were off when Dan and he played this game. 

“You are brilliant. Say it.” Kyle relaxed his grip as Dan stopped fighting him. Standing up to his full height, Kyle smiled as Dan easily fell back into him. 

“You are brilliant.” Dan looked back to him and giggled at his own joke. 

Spinning Dan around, Kyle kept his hands on Dan’s back to hold him close, even though he knew Dan was not going anywhere. 

Dan had almost a full beard, dark circles underneath his eyes, and hair that looked more and more like a hedgehog everyday Kyle woke up to him in their bed. He was gorgeous and, even almost ten years later, still made the fluttering in his stomach go mad. 

“What you looking at?” Dan’s smile was contagious and soon Kyle had a full grin himself. 

“Everything right with this messed up and mad world.” Kyle leaned in closer and gave Dan a soft kiss on the lips. “My Pinky.” 

“How did we get so lucky?” Dan stayed close and gave him a soft kiss in return, his breath making Kyle’s lips tingle. “So happy I kissed you all those years ago.” 

“I kissed you first.” Kyle returned Dan’s soft kiss with one a bit more aggressive, making Dan give out a sound of surprise before he was matching the kiss. Dan’s hands moving around Kyle’s back and up to his hair. 

“We can quibble about who kissed who first, but we can both agree that it was meant to be.” Dan pulled away to take a breath but stayed near. His hands moved away from Kyle’s equally long hair and found Kyle’s hands. “Let’s go home.” 

“Can I spend the night at yours?” Kyle teased as he followed Dan around as they turned off lights. They still kept separate flats, but both places were considered home to them. 

“Always.” Dan shut off the last light, leaving low lights to guide them toward the door. “Just no snoring.” 

“You used to love my snoring.” Kyle raised his tone as the door was locked. “Said it was like a song.” 

“That was before I had to listen to it almost every night.” Dan bumped Kyle’s hip as they walked down the pavement to the bus stop. The sun had long since set, but the city’s lights lit their path. “Though I will gladly take it over Coop talking in his sleep.” 

“Good thing you are not sleeping with Coop then.” Kyle turned to face Dan once they reached the stop. “Might be confusing sleeping with him. He is always used to you shouting at him to turn it up and then turn it down. Blend this person out. Add in this and that. Bossy one, you are.” 

“Fuck off.” Dan pushed Kyle away with his hand, a gesture that would look like two mates messing about. Dan looked around as he blushed. “Never bothered you any.” 

“You’re right.” Kyle smiled and heard the bus approach them. There was no one around, so he decided to be bold. Holding out his hand, Kyle asked, “Ready to go?” 

“With you, always.” Dan took Kyle’s hand and followed him onto the bus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Deep breath. Hold it. Slowly let it out. 
> 
> Okay, repeat. 
> 
> Ah, that was nice. 
> 
> Everyone still doing alright?
> 
> Thank you all for reading and giving kudos and comments. I'm a bit sad to see this one go, but it was time.


End file.
